friends... y.p.g.
cloudy, im still me.
far away, nickelback
then everything's back to normal. maybe for me, for now. cos it just feels this way. i tried to face the fact, be strong and hold the tears back but nar, its not that easy like what you think. who knows how it feels like? like... to be the only one there, seeing you bestie lying in pain and you cant do anything to help? do you understand? can you imagine all that i've gone thru? those scenes are haunting me, those nightmares never seem to go away. why did it happen? how did i allow it? what did i do as a role of a friend? am i really that useless? i didnt do my part. my friend is hurt and i wasnt there to protect her. everything's so unexpected, i wish someone can wake me up and tell me, 'ah, no worries, it was all a dream.' i wish someone can answer all my questions, clear all my doubts. i wish God can turn back the time for me, and let me talk to her again and i swear i'll never it happen. at least not for now, to all the ppl around me.
you say get a life. what's a life exactly? what's your kinda life?
cherish the people around you. for you never know what's gonna happen next. like ppl always say evil things but never thought of the consequences. but now i know. how much it can mean just by saying 'go&die' to someone sensitive. but anyway, praise Him for watching after her. she WILL be fine. (let's hope.) punish me for all the sins i've done for i deserve them. can we all just pray hard together? read a short prayer for her and maybe you'll be forgiven.
treasure life.
for a moment. i know what it really meant when you say only true friends will be there in time when you need them. but i wonder if she saw it. now i see who're the ones who've been a hypocrite, putting up a fake front, being a fake friend. but its okay. all these arent important to me anymore. who cares. i dont know so many things. i only know that, within 3 years, despite all the ups and downs we've gone thru, she's someone with some status in my heart.
