sleeping time! okay wait, im talking to this new made friend called benjamin. quite friendly and nice to get along so... yupp, had a great time chatting with him online. we just met only a week ago during the RJC workshop. we didnt talk much though but he claimed that i looked like his friend.. hmm, HAH.

okay, what now? today's work as usual. was punctual at least for once but the boss didnt see me cos he was out. and then got a little early off since i got OT ytd. haha. so i went to cut my hair trimmed and now... its much neater! muahah. i get to gel my hair. I GET TO GEL MY HAIR. haha. joke. not that short, but its just awesome. i proudly announced to i got a satisfying hairstyle. whee. worth that ten bucks indeed!

oh ya, today im supposedly "SICK" bcos i didnt go training and the meeting. sharks. missed that friendly match with STC, but afterall, they lost. heard its 6-11. oh well, sadd. and then the meeting on the student leader thingy really made me feel guilty. argh. responsibility. talking bout this, i dont know to work or to go for the meeting. its like. ee. fine. if i work, i got pay. HAHA. so realistic and materialistic. NOT ME!

and then i might be joing xuanyi and shi hui to visit the old folk and toa payoh tmr. im kind. I KNOW IM KIND. (: its just that we missed him and then decided to meet up and pay him a visit since he's so poor thing. a loner who needs comfort and free food. waiting for us to entertain him and feed him! omg. one-room flat, IM COMING!! and then that uncle is like damn cute la. so this trip there is out of helping and serving the society la. not being forced to or having CIP points. haha. weird, wonder why i will do this too? hehe


GOOD NIGHT, no more horrid dreams!

just talked to him.
started off the conversation with a friendly tone by asking how his brother did for psle and wanted to compare with my sis... i was daring when things turned out liddat:

... ...
can i ask you something?
ya sure.
what does your nick means?
oh nothing much la. how bout yours? got gf arh?
nar. for fun only.
actually... i just wanna admit to you that i havent gotten over some things in the past...
like what?
you would know better than anyone...
i cant do anything.
neither can i. i havent been able to give myself a chance to start another r'ship after soo long.
*no reply.*
fine, at least i got to concentrate on my studies... i have been well, dont worry.




every time i know i will get hurt after hearing what he says... i still want to talk to him... why? *silly me.*

what another sad day. haha. gotta listen to my bitchy mom nag again. haha. im sorry for being disrespectful here but im used to it already. so hope your dont mind. and then currently having a little gastric pain even though i ate some breakfast... wonder what happened... anw. last night had a bad dream again.. even though i dreamt of vidya, it was a nightmare too. sigh. whateva. everyone left for the camp. im all alone. zz

There's just a thing or two
I'd like you to know
You were my first love,
you were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
Even though time may find me somebody new


I'm sitting here alone up in my room
And thinking about the times that we've been through
I'm looking at a picture in my hand
Trying my best to understand
I really want to know what we did wrong
With a love that felt so strong

I'd do anything,
I'd give you my world
I'd wait forever,
to be your girl
Just call out my name,
and I will be there
Just to show you how much I care

It's funny how it starts, just how it all begins.
You get your sights on dreams,and man a thousand different things.
You are on for yourself,you're chasing cool desire.
You get addicted fast, but man you're playin' with fire.

Then there's a day that comes to you.
When you get all you want, but there's a space inside that's still as empty as it was.
'Till an angel comes your way and man she's fallin fast.
You know she's so in need but she is to afraid to ask.

So you hold on out your hands and catch her best you can.
And in givin' love you feel a better man.

*And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive.
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy.
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath.
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you seek.

Man, it's funny how she smiles, how grateful she is now.
And how that touches me deep in my heart somehow.
Yet the mirror laughs at me when I forget myself.
When I complain about, this hand that I got dealt.

And if I had know before, how much she would change my life.
I'd sure go back in time and tell that guy ...hey, man.
You can do better than this, you can answer your prayers.
You can grant your own wish.

Just hold on out your hands and give the most you can.
And I swear to you you'll feel a better man.

im stuggling again. tears of memories. that same old boring story again. countless apologies.





What I got to do to make you love me?

What I got to do to make you care?

What do I do when lightning strikes me?

And I wake to find that you’re not there?

What I got to go to make you want me?

What I got to do to be heard?

What do I say when it’s all over?

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

It’s sad, so sad It’s a sad, sad situation.

And it’s getting more and more absurd.

It’s sad, so sad Why can’t we talk it over?

Oh it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

the voice has been resounding...

"yet you are still trying to forget me after two long years...

what's the point?

just keep me in your heart...

you have never once forgotten all the times we had, at all."

AND I REALLY DONT WANNA DREAM OF HIM ANYMORE, PLEASE?!?!

not again. another night of horror. what happened? rainy nights, is it? so what? i thought he's already gone... that demon in me was supposedly known to be disappeared... no, but its back, back here this few nights... i fell asleep last night though i tried not to since its really tiring and sleepy working the whole day... but soon after i woke up again at 3am. the bewitching hour.. so creepy and eerie... but it was all because of that same dream again. let's not talk bout it man. i didnt want it to happen. i cant return to sleep after that... so im like a living zombie walking around today on earth. with deep eye bags that made me looked like panda, i really cant withstand it!




on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
release me, let me go.

wa. back from work. still went to pick my sis up. the mrt is flooded with stinky ppl. haha. what 'GOOD' weather it is outside now... raining cats and dogs. zz, perfect timing for sleeping(my favourite)! hehe (:

on the way to work...
was late... got nagged. bad mood! but saw my ex teacher... primary school teacher... PRIMARY ONE FORM TEACHER!! and she recognised me. its, so UNBELIEVABLE OKAY. she said i didnt change... yeah, maybe i didnt ON THE OUTSIDE, but most of it in there. haha. and then just for a short while we chatted. she changed alot too. having two kids with her, and accompanied with a loving husband. what a family for me to envy! haha. i think she's someone that i will never forget la... she only thought me for two years but i guess it meant too much. haha. she thought me all the basics and every other things else. sweet!

work...
life was as boring as ever... time seemed to pass like how a snail goes... zz... hungry hungry... FREEZE.


last night...
BAD DREAM... BAD BAD DREAM. I HATE IT. I REALLY HATE IT. i thought he faded away... after soooooooo longggggggggggggggggg. AND YET HE DID NOT. HE STILL POPPED OUT AND APPEARED IN MY DREAM. EVIL. gave me a nightmare... his favourite phrase, YOU WORST NIGHTMARE. aihs. what to do? been thinking of the BLAH before i slept... that's why... cos it's a rainy night again. haha. what a stupid excuse. i shouldnt blame myself i got reminded of him right?! im was simply listening to the song: somewhere we know. so meaningful... yeahh. and then i think i read too much of death note too. and i didnt have enough sleep. so i also dreamt that i killed people with the book. hehe. i must be influenced by munyee! omg. help man. haha. i need a physcatrist. im suffering from insomia. i dont dare to sleep. HOW?!





where is happiness sold and how much does it cost? i would like to have a packet of it. thankyou.

i just came back from a one day trip from malaysia! haha. and damn, i forgot all bout bringing my camera along. sigh. guess what, as usual, its more than cool, its shiok, fun and HOT. haha. have you ever seen a longan plantation as far and long as from bukit timah to clementi? i bet you havent, but unfortunately, i got this priority, to also taste all those organic fruit. HAHA. freaking sweet. also visited my grandma's grave since its her death anniversary.. and then i heard then she didnt die peacefully but of leukemia.. sadly i didnt even see her. aww. and then there we went to the fish market... fishes as fresh as just captured and still shaking under the butcher's knife. and im serious. no exeraggating. haha. what else.. all the seafood are freaking cheap too. but all this joy derives from at least 4hrs of car ride. VOMIT** haha. also saw alot of stray animals on the street like cows, chickens.. dogs and blah.. just imagine the SMELL. lol. omg. ya. so at first i thought i was rather sad not being able to attend church today.. but nar.. i still enjoyed my sunday.. and if you guys see me online today, its not that im lying bout going to malaysia, im probably using my bro's hp of GPRS. muahaha. sad to say.. i was outcast by my relatives since they all spoke dialects. haha. what a day! just had my dinner as great as the emperor's food. haha. its like... we got guests today and then i got to taste those abalone kept on the shelves for months. haha. and then before i set off this morning.. i went to fetch my aunties and uncles... meanwhile.. i sat on the rooftop of their homes and almost got struck by lightning! hah. alrihgt.. wondering if i should go for training tmr. so sian. you knw me.. lazy bum.. but oh well.. it will probably be my last time since my toe still hurts and im starting work. ARGH. onechunkofwords(:


WHO'S GETTING ME AN n5300 FOR MY COMING BIRTHDAY?! my mom says it looks ugly. (hurting)

sad. sad sad day. why liddat? cheerful guoyi went away for a holiday again... back to de depressed mode of guoyi. do you know her? no i dont know. weird weird de. aiyah. i certainly got no mood to elaborate what happened today..






but there now at somewhere in singapore... a girl named munyee had did a wonderful thing this evening by giving guoyi a great big heart at the control station of clementi... therefore, i would like to appreciate her existence and thank her a lot... the hug i remembered was warm and sweet.. so comfortable and i hope i would be able to meet her asap. hah. ((: smile for my best friend!

WA! what have i been doing the past 3 days again? damn bloody freaking busy and tired at expo whole day just for this bio project. indeed a big sacrifice. HOWEVER this is an experience im never gonna ever forget for it is fabulous and amazing. WHOO, hot ((: yupp, so what happeneD? let's see, actually i was planning to camp overnight at expo but as you know, its very unsafe... HAHA. okay nvm, back to topic. so where was i? hmm, oh ya, back to the exhibiton... ya what? I TALKED TO BIG BOSS. WHO?! SCHERING PLOUGH'S HEAD. OFFICIAL HEAD. aiyah, maybe you guys wont understand how it feels like to actually talked to VIP and stuff... its introducing their own product and showing to them how i promote them to the public. at least... at least i got praise by mdm neo! wow. thats cool okay, cOOOOOOOl. yes. i find that i can talk quite fluently now... and I ATE A LOT LATELY. die. )): cry. later no one wants me how? then i will end up like... like giant. alemak. dont care la. think bout it some other time when im more free.


WATCHING NEWS.......................................... TO SEE IF I WENT ON.......................................


disappointedly, NO. how can they do this to me man. oh well, at least i spotted cute guys there. HAHA. went changi airport for breakfast and fell in love with this fast food, mary brown's worker. oops. sorry bout that. haha. you can actually go take a look at him and murder him for me!! tmr im going for that student leader thingy again so no rest time for me... sigh... then friday should be working liao ba... yawn. home sweet home.. havent got a good rest.. therefore im going to bed now.. and probably tmr going to peep at my prince charming at airport again. wahahah.

oh my! finally, im back home. after this extremely awesome student leader camp even though unhappy things happened too. haha. hmm. so.. what should i talk about now? oh well, how bout let me start from today? (: okay..

i have officially joined fcbc today and shall TRY to be a loyal christian since im new and has lotsa doubts... mr tan say pin invited the student leaders but only roxanne, sean, jingwen and i turned up while xuan yi and mun keong were already inside. hmm, the mentors were all there too and everyone were just so friendly as i expected. i was given a bible too! satisfaction filled me up ((:

after an hour...

MAIN HIGHLIGHT:
oops, sorry bout that, i just went for dinner. and i enjoy my meal cos i guess the camp food really sucks. haha. so... all camp seemed to be fun... this one held in school consisted of enthu ppl especially like prefects... and then y.p.g were splitted up into groups. unfortunately, im in the group Dengue (fever) and therefore, a member of my leader, SHIVA. omg. i made many new friends though. hehe. and then my mentor can none other than to be the 20years-old JELVIN. ta-da. haha. he's really nice fellow. haha. so he's a volunteer from touch community and fate brought us together to spend this 3days 2 nights together having lotsa fun! all the games and activities are gorgeous. haha. i learnt many things! especially after visiting homes of elderly living in one room flat at toa payoh. and then, woo. i think im a good leader now! im ready for the sec 1 orientation camp, baby! ((:

tmr's got de exhibition held at expo for bio. so anyone just come along since its for public.. should be whole of afternoon. AND I CANT BELIEVE IM GONNA SPEND ANOTHER 2HRS TRAVELLING AGAIN!! HAHA

[i havent mention bout the unhappy stuff because i do not wish to be said to be badmouthing ppl and then start rumors again.]

toe pain sia. really pain. haha. idiot me went to knock at the sharp corner of my bed. now i think my little toe has to be chopped off. i havent told my mom that it is swollen red with bruises and currently going numb. yet, i turned up for school today wearing shoes. thank God. haha. oh well, i dont think im going tmr since i cant even walk now like how i took a cab home alone just now. nobody seems to bother anw. lala. today seems to be a good afternoon for swimming alone and doing some maths. yupp, i shall proceed now. goodbye.


; & i still question myself with 'BUTS' when i thought of letting him go. *
BUT IF I LET YOU GO... i would never know, what my life would be...

went to buy my books today and visited the school dentist. this time, im lucky enough to come across a kind old man for give me a check up in my mouth. he's so gentle unlike those previous ones horrible like DINOSAUR. haha. im crazy, wondering why im using these words to describe them. and yupp, he said my teeth are are alright and im glad to hear that. however my gums are not very healthy and he gave me some cleaning up that took 20mins. he didnt nag much and i felt very weird. haha. now my teeth are still a bit numb and blah. haha. well well, but still, i think i caught a cold and now shivering in my air-conditioned room with a storm outside. omg.


changed my skin, simple and clean, my style! haha. its no matter of you guys like it or not, but all bout me getting comfortable with it so please tell me its great. haha. i spent my day in front of the computer since i cant get into a nap i dont know why. probably my insomia is getting worse! that's bad. haha. i was watching bleach and listening to songs... oh ya, most of the times spending my times with solitaire! as you can see, im that bored, therefore i shall go take a look at my new books later. alright, i shall take my leave. (:

im finishing my medication.
AND THAT MEANS I WONT HAVE ANY RELAPSE!!
muahaha ((: