oh, first day of the holiday classes today. so boring, i skipped chemistry and i missed electrolysis! physics was alright cos it was short. then went lunch with candice and isabel. ate so much for just that 3 pieces of pizza. returned to school for geography lesson. i hate myself for being so in a holiday mood now.

GuoYi's falling for tuition & assessment books! i dont know why but its fun attending class and doing work you know. guess she's really going crazy, she's really under great stress...

wheeeeeeeeee, so boredd. tralala, someone entertain me please.

you know, people dont like me!
you know, i was so fed up today.
you know, I'm so disappointed at whom i used to call my BEST FRIEND.
OUCH, YOU KNOW HOW F. IT HURTS?!

" & we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong,

No way you're never gonna shake me.

I know that you'll be right back, believe me,

It's only a matter of time. "

Rules of the Taggy Quiz :
A] People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B] Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be ?
oh, slap him on the spot if I've the chance and say, "don't let me see you ever again.". DIE. (so drama-mama)

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be ?
be reborn again. i wanna start life all over again or maybe let time go back itself. if i relive, i can correct all my mistakes and be someone perfect.

#3. What will your dream wedding be like ?
well... how bout by the beach and under the sea? after all its the same as long as I'm with the one i love.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you ?
yes, kinda. I've many ambitions 'cos i ain't an adult yet so perhaps I'm still not ready? I'm unsure if i can achieve those goals...

#5. What's your ideal lover like ?
someone who loves me deep deep, definitely. cheerful, outgoing, gentlemanly and sensitive to my feelings... funny, generous and taller than me too!

#6. Which would you go for, someone you love or someone who loves you ?
i think being loved by someone is more blessed than loving someone. don't you know, loving someone isn't easy but then again, if everyone waits for love, nobody will be there to love. i guess being loved takes courage while loving takes even more.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love ?
never really thought of this. err, i tried taking 2 years? until someone else comes to take over him. i think waiting is stupid, its a waste of time. that's 'cos i found out that eventually, God will let you know that you're making a fool out of yourself.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do ?
i hate this. so hate it. IRRITATING, especially if you know who he's attached to. i think I'll give up in the end. ya, i don't want to be called a third party.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days ?
plenty of things. first, at home, with all the you-know-who. then, all the quarrels with people, my friends. i hate being lazy. sleeping is like taking up all my time. studying. when i come across a math question i spent hours on but still cant solve. getting back my lousy results even though i tried my best. lastly, when i cant be perfect. i know i cant be but i just want to be. i want to do many things to satisfy myself, and also make everyone else happy.

#10. What do you want most in life ?
happiness. that includes a wide range.

#11. Is being tagged fun ?
once in a while, yes, especially when I'm bored and that it is interesting but this one has way too many questions.

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time ?
that would make me 26. flying around the whole world? I'm an air-stewardess-wannabe.

#13. Are you someone who plans for rainy days ?
NOT REALLY, i live each day like i like. fine, I'll work on it.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is ?
friendly. weird! can be funny and nice talking. A SUPER GOOD LISTENER, can give good advice.

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor ?
SINGLE AND RICH! duh. I'm so independent and i believe in myself, i can be very lonely but who cares, why torture myself? who needs love man, you cant survive on it.

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be ?
a tiger or how bout sheep? an elephant will be nice too.

#17. What is your favorite song right now ?
something right - west life

#18. What kind of person do u think you are ?
strong on the outside, weak inside. extremely sentimental, fun to be with, lame and extrovert.

#19. What do you define as a bad day ?
being scolded, hearing people talk bad bout me or of my friends or argued with my best friends... realizing that people dislike me... being very late or feeling sick & tired.

#20. If you have to choose between love (as in boy-girl relationships) and friendship, what would it be ?
friendship. unless its marriage. but i know i wont get to make such a decision if my both my friend and my boyfriend are understanding people.

I'm tagged by Melissa Guo, surprisingly. I shall tag: Mun Yee, Yan Wah, Ahmad, YanLin, Simin, Candice, Xin Er and Raymond! FYI: i changed one question, guess which!?

dreams. what exactly are dreams? I've many dreams every night and even within just that ten minutes while i doze off reading a book.

i had a bad dream last night, a nightmare you call it. it made my heart skip a beat cos' i dreamed that i fell off a mountain i was climbing and nobody was there to help. then the thing is they could only watch me fall.

i woke up, glad that it was all a dream. i tried to go back to sleep but i couldn't. i cant help but think what the dream meant. maybe its telling me that nobody cares. maybe its telling me what's the point of working so hard? eventually I'll still fail or lose to others. i became so fed up with myself and finally i drifted back into my sleep.

for that twenty minutes, i had another dream. well, it was a much better one. it wasn't even a dream. it was more like a playback of my past. my brain wanted me to remember some things and to my surprise, what i thought i had long forgotten had 'happened' all over again so vividly just now.

that was me when i was much much younger, seven or eight years old? sisters and i would always follow my dad on his car to pick my mom off work. we would hide in the car, behind and under the seats, trying our best not to let mommy spot us and then give her a big 'boo'. even though almost all the times she knew we were there, she would pretend to be shocked and smile. those were the days...

what's the point of looking back now? in life, learning from our mistakes ain't the only important thing to do.
moving on is too.

i think my body was signaling to me. its either that I'm too stressed out, or that I'm gonna fall sick soon. this ain't very healthy for me, its making me feel so tired even after i wake up from my nap. so mentally drained.

i asked myself if anyone cared, anyone bothered. i asked if i am a cheap desperate girl asking for some attention and hoping for her existence to be realized. am i? am i really that bad, that lousy? why is it that i have so many friends yet i feel lonely? are they even my friends, or are they all just hypocrites whom I've seen over and over again? why is it that i no longer feel the warmth i used to get. everything seems to become so cold, I'm losing my senses. yesterday is already history, everything i missed is never gonna come back. today is what i fear most. but i shall choose to believe that tomorrow will be a better day. I'll be waiting, waiting for the rainbow after the storm.

today we managed to catch up a little,
but we never seems to finish talking.

hurray to all those who hate me.
cheers to all those who dislike me.
congratulations to all those who've finally take me down.

oh, midyear examinations are finally over! results time... hai, the poor teachers must have been stressed out marking and apparently, many of them are absent today so ya, as usual predicted, only ms ang returned the maths paper. well, iknow i shouldnt be greedy, i should be contented that i got an A alr but cmon, i still lost to the top in class, by that 1%. you know how much it irritates me?

been having sucha bad week. maybe not, maybe i should just look onto the brigter side. ha, im sucha good liar. im soooooooo good at comforting at myself but those who know me well, you know how im feeling deep inside.

oh, cravings for prawn meee. :D

i know i have a bad attitude.
i know i have a shit problem here.
i know i suck.
i know im stubborn.
i know im a loser.
i know i cant change.
i know i know i know.

SHUT UP.

Two people wanting to know each other, but they don't understand each other well.
Hence they argue, but what exactly are they arguing about?
Aren't both parties willing to give it a shot again?
Why must we go through pain and suffering and all the bitterness before we decide to start again?

Promises.
What promises?
Who broke what promise? Did it really happen? Was there even a chance to clarify?
Is there a need to clarify? Should there be forgiveness? Why can't forgiveness come naturally?
Must we be upset and depressed before everything will painstakingly march its way back on track again?

Memories, back to haunt us again.

i dont even know what's the schedule next week! i mean seriously, which day for which exam... i just know im having exam, and im supposed to study. yeah, that's all. HOW SAD.

oh anyway, new nice blogskin? :D was bored, oops, :X hehe
this is brighter, much more positive. lol

my mom was being racist again just ytd. so evil, so mean. she's so unreasonable & so not understanding. i mean, cmon, singapore is a multi-racial country ok, stop discriminating others.

its may! holidays are coming but so are all the people's birthday. argh. cash cash cash again.

wish me luck for MYE manzx.

i screwed my own life with both my hands. so lost.
i didnt regret. she's worse than me. she's feeling the pain i once felt. maybe twice more? i've all i want now so what's there to get mad at? no dammit. she's winning me again. i hate to admit but no, i cant accept it!! WHY?!?! just because of that... forget it.