Sorry, Blame It On Me.

Last night's The President's Beat's dinner at Raffles Instituition was awesome. (:

Met up with one bunch of people at vivo yesterday. That includes Yoges, Andrew, Khabir, Yanlin, Ani, Andrea, Marlin, Darren, Doyle, Kenneth, Shiva&gf, Kader and ya, Viddy! That's a lot I think. We didnt do much besides sitting at Banquet. HA, I didnt catch a movie with them. Instead, went back to clementi with Vidya. (: we chatted a lot! A lot on going to JC and stuff. heard bout how stressful things can be. oh no

I just found out today who I'm seeing on Monday man. ahhh, whateva, I'm gonna go make new friends! Shall leave my house now and get going to get some stationery and prepare for my big day to come! HAHAHA

one last thing to rant: I HAVE TO WAKE UP BEFORE 6AM AFTER TOMORROW MAN. help!! =X

As life goes on
I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me

I Can't Hate You Anymore.

Just talked to my brother via webcam over msn! whooo, glad to know he's doing well, even though i can see the deep eye bags he has there. man, it 10pm here but 3pm there in holland. can you imagine how much he's gonna suffer? argh, I THINK, i'm missing him. (i even dreamt of him) :'(

Before i forget, HAPPY CNY. to me, its just cny, but this year, not just receiving much angbao money, having friends over just makes everything different! honestly, i not only 'gave away' my angbao money to my pri sch friends, especially EDMUND ONG, in mahjong and 'baluck', i also gave the remaining to my mom ok. now, i'm left with nothing! :(

talking bout those peeps, i really missed them man. we caught up and i figured out where they were all heading this year. there was one going private sch, two going SA and YJC. yvonne's alr doing her mass com in ngee ann poly alr thru DPA. oh poly and bryan, after graduated from his hwachong, is still considering. we played pool and bowling that day, which was totally awesome. i say edmund is really the pillar of us all, cos once he's back, we'll bond. and that's sweet. its always nice to see each around once in a while... its like a big family. cheers to nhps-ians =]]

i figured i had been so busy and i didnt return to either my pri sch, neither did i go back to my sec sch! aww. its ok. i'll find time. guess its partially because my mom's around at home and i aint going anywhere. (:

anyway, here's one happy news i want everyone to know. after the audition during the sports presentation camp last week, i got selected to be a host for YOG! whooo, i cant wait. and YAY, its gonna be part of CCA. cant believe itttttttt

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Graduation.

its spring cleaning time. i pulled up my cupboard and guess what i found? letters, photos, neoprints, movie tickets and little little gift and stuff then i havent touched for the whole year... i sat there, trying to decide what to keep and what to throw. like you would have expected, in the end after an hour there, i kept almost everything. i just wanted to leave things as they are. that's because i know in reality, this cruel world is totally different. so different from what you have there up in your head, all the stupid memories that just wont go away. sometimes thinking back, i wish it was all a dream. or instead, i wish that i have a super super glue that can glue everyone back, let all of us come together and bond again. will that even ever happen? maybe one fine day, it will. maybe.

i'm glad to have seen yoges, habib and shiva today. even happier to know that they're doing well. however, deep in inside, i still wonder if they feel the same way. things just become awkward, everyone's just different. why? some times i wish i just didnt have to go through all these. its just so scary to grow up, to mature and to step into this society. today i thought i said something that really made sense. it goes: grab a handful of sand and you can never hold onto every single grain of them. think about it, dont some of them always slip through your fingers? well, that's exactly what's happening to NTE, isnt it right?

10 years down the road, would yoges be right about us, just walking past each other if we all ever meet on the streets? most probably.
all the late night hang out after school;
all the past midnight phone calls.
all the soccer games;
all the wasting our lives away sitting in McDonald's crapping away
all the forget about homework but still study at times in the morning;
all the stupid nicknames we called each other;
all the your gf my bf;
all the bitching;
all the going each other's houses for Deepavali and Christmas blahh;
all the dancing of honky tonk stomp together for sec1orientation;
all the mess and trouble we made and caused to the teachers
all these, i'm sorry if you'll forget them. cos i make sure i remember. call me stubborn, i say whateva. its worth it, i guess so.

OK OK, enough of these issues and my grumblings. i'm gonna look forward to my life ahead. JC school, making new friends, YOG and stuff... whooo. life isnt that bad eh

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule

Lies.

Sunday, January 20, 2008
Sunday, January 18, 2009

the dates were almost the same, but the things that happened now and then are so different. till today, till this very second, i'm still disappointed in you. you didnt admit your wrong, or even realise your mistake. back then, i was really blinded by you, by whom i thought i would wanna spend the rest of my life with. ha, how silly can i get. for at least half a year, i waited and waited, i prayed and prayed. all i wanted was to hear you tell me you regretted all you've done. instead, i got all your bullshit. you sure know better than anyone else what i'm talking bout. now, i so thank you for that. if its not for your childishness, i probably wont wake up. yes, finally, i see clearly what you are. a selfish self centered boy whom i so shouldnt have wasted my time on. do you know that the ugly side of you totally disgusts me. that just made me even more not being able to believe that i was doing so many things for you. others mature, but you, please grow up. its best you stay away from me these days, far far away and leave me alone. cos you know what? i certainly dont need someone like you in my life now.

You could tell your lies
I dont really care what you feel inside
all you ever did was make me cry
maybe one day you'll realize
that you had a good girl in your life

Crush.

I am so bored. I am listening to nice songs. I dont know what to do, there's nobody around and i got so bored of all the games. I think i am feeling sad. I think i am so random.

Results were finally out. I shant elaborate further bout it. I should thank God for letting me improve, and also show my parents i can actually do it. I thank God for letting me have the strength to carry on in life. I also must thank God for watching after me and letting O's go through so smoothly. I just thank God for all the times i spent in NTSS with dearest MunYee, of cos not forgetting WeiSheng, Daryl, Wilson, Ian, Jolene, Isabel, Yulenda, Candice, Yanlin, Poornima, Ahmad and the others. oh yes i miss vidya. I thank God for all the nice teachers especially Mr Tan. I thank God for knowing juniors like Raymond, Zoey and JunTai. I thank God for being able to know Joy, indirectly to know Alex, Xavier, Kelvin and the group of different but really fun mentors. Oh man, enough of thanksgiving alr for now.

I hate myself. I spend money on clothes at Far East again yesterday. Luckily I've been getting free treats. HEHE. :p

school's probably gonna start soon. I wonder if i'm gonna be in town next week. oh wells, i'm always not in spore for cny anw. i cant wait to send my bro off at airport. oh man, so gonna miss him.

anyway, i'd this uber long talk with my mom last night. for once, i actually did that. yes.

P.S. I think of you everyday.

Are you holding back
Like the way I do
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But i know this crush ain't going
Away

Tonight.

that's the face you get when you know results is on monday.

maybe not. i love these mahjong kakis manxz.

for nuts, i got punk'd. thanks bro.

tell me my spaghetti looks delicious, pretty please?

i'm so super lazy to blog. hahaha, cos i got quite moody these couple of day. AS UAUAl. hahaha. by the way, something to update you readers about, I ACTUALLY QUIT MY JOB ALR. hehehe. i fired my boss. :p i'm one stubborn girl, so never blame me for things i didnt do. hurr. me shall not explain further since my mama recommeneded me some other job, so yupp, i think i MIGHT go for it cos im pretty bored at home. NO WAY im gonna eat and sleep and GROW FAT!

i watched red cliff 2 last night. due to full house, i had to sit at the front row. man, this morning i woke up with my neck aching. eew. oh wells, at least the movie is pretty worth watching though :p
I remember the times we spent together
we had a million questions
All about our lives
anyway, volunteering at YOG totally rocks. i'm so going back :D

before i forget, i actually got myself this wonderful gorgeous red skirt ytd at bugis. man, i really liked it. yaye, that's something new i got myself for cny! ((: cant wait to wear it
I remember the time you told me
how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
lastly, cheers to the start of a new chapter of my life. monday's results, here i comeeeeeeee... ;]
all the best to all of your, & may we have the strength to face whateva is coming.

Hate That I Love You.

i am so sad today. are you sad?

sec 1 orientation this year was a success this year i think! i'm so glad i've many good juniors to guide the newbies along and NTSS will do well. haha, and hope raymond finds a good successor. hahah.

i feel so sleepy at work today. EVEN THOUGH I WAS SO MAD. those kids. now i know why auntie viven gets high blood pressure and wants to quit after a while. they're just so hard to handle! poor thing... OK never mind, it'll be done soon. AND NO, that would mean results are coming out :(

yaye, i cant wait to go be a YOG guide! :D

i still wish i'm not so sad.

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

Far Away.

Today's been walking day. I'm out with Xavier to walk the whole of Bugis, City Hall to Raffles City. Haha, its really nice hanging out with him. All the funny jokes and random things we talk about. (:

Today I went to Bugis again. Yesterday I went. I'm going there again on Wednesday. Yay, I wanna buy my skirt and belt. :D

Today everyone asks me out. One group asks me to go East Coast Park, the other to West Coast Park. So where should i go? Its not like i can teleport. Neither can I break myself up into two. So in the end, I think I'm not going anywhere. (:

Today i shall be sleeping early. I am so tired and there's work tomorrow. 7am!

Today's your birthday. So happy birthday.

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along