fed up. i am, very extremely really fed up. you ask me is it because of lack of sleep, is it because of school, or is it because simply pms. well, i cant tell you exactly what it is. maybe when you add them all up, you get what i am, right now. wait, there's also the addition of someone saying some stupid things and being unappreciated by someone you really care about really upsets me. ALSO, the fact that my phone is dying just made things worse. sigh
guess it all began the day before yesterday when Joy asked me how things were doing at home. there it went, my long story, all the things that i kept there for pretty long. i've decided to dig them all out and tell it to her. Wendy's right, i shouldnt keep it bottled up. it gets really unhealthy after a while.
at this very moment, school's aside, and i put away all my friends for a while. i want to talk about my family, some thing i always avoided talking about, as much as i could. well, so far i only remember describing bout how happy i can be in this house and stuff like that. then again, some times some things just aint what it seems.
i hate my dad. at the very same time, i love him too. believe it or not, despite all the mean things he has done to my mom, to my siblings and to me, i loved him. however, i hate him because he never fails to disappoint me again and again. i respected him as my father but he simply took it for granted. how could he? someone tell me, should i thank him for how much pain he has brought to me all these years that caused me to be so independent, or do i despise him for being unable to even be a good father i've always wanted?
P.S. ouch, i didnt know it hurts to be filial.
guess it all began the day before yesterday when Joy asked me how things were doing at home. there it went, my long story, all the things that i kept there for pretty long. i've decided to dig them all out and tell it to her. Wendy's right, i shouldnt keep it bottled up. it gets really unhealthy after a while.
at this very moment, school's aside, and i put away all my friends for a while. i want to talk about my family, some thing i always avoided talking about, as much as i could. well, so far i only remember describing bout how happy i can be in this house and stuff like that. then again, some times some things just aint what it seems.
i hate my dad. at the very same time, i love him too. believe it or not, despite all the mean things he has done to my mom, to my siblings and to me, i loved him. however, i hate him because he never fails to disappoint me again and again. i respected him as my father but he simply took it for granted. how could he? someone tell me, should i thank him for how much pain he has brought to me all these years that caused me to be so independent, or do i despise him for being unable to even be a good father i've always wanted?
P.S. ouch, i didnt know it hurts to be filial.
And I don't want to be the one just to love then lose
2 comments:
Heya!!
Weird song seh.i shall go listen to it now.xDD
Dun so stress ok.I gt sum good vids for u to watch.u online i zai give u link bah
Take Cares!:D
hey sweetie, thanks again! u really put in a lot of effort :) hope u won't b disappointed with me when it comes 2 ur birthday! anw, juz 2 let u know, SS didn't sms me this year, but it doesn't matter :)
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