So much been on my mind lately. I wanted so much to just journal bout my thoughts and emotions but everything always happen so quickly.
144 re encounter has been truly amazing. Really just met God at every session. There was much healing in the weeping to know that I am chosen by the Lord, set apart to do His work and I will be fruitful just because He says so. No strife, no performance trap. So blessed.
Came back and ran a fever straight for three days. Felt so terrible just being bed ridden. After one week I am still coughing. This is quite bad. But ya, blessing in disguise that I took some time to catch up on rest and just sleep in. Thankful I didnt give in to those thoughts of being helpless.
As I finally shifted home from hall, mom acted up again. Beat me with a hanger which shocked me. I guess of all the days I always anticipated me leaving the house when she's manifesting in anger, that night still came so sudden and unexpectedly. Of cos there was much pain in the heart, to truly muster that courage and walk away. To me, its definitely a breakthrough. Its a radical change in the belief system believing that I am a child of the one true God and no fingers shall be laid on me. It is knowing that I did it out of love for my mom with prayers in my heart that she will begin to see the consequences of sins. Do I still fear? Yes. But each day I live in His grace. When I go, I trust that the Lord will provide for me. I trust that the Lord will keep me and deliver me. I know my God and I know His character. He is my only refuge that I know I can run to.
Work has also started for me. I am excited for a change in environment. Thankful that the flexibility allows me to do what I need to complete in NTU. God is so good. So loved by the community especially by my cellgroup. :')
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