where were you when i needed you then?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAN, EDMUND, WENDY, ZHEYU & that's all for this week, COS THERE'S JUST SO MANY MORE TO GO. why do ppl choose to give birth on july?!

as you can tell, im blogging once a week now! whoo.

june holiday ended and school started. life's so back to normal, all the regular routine, usual days. gosh. sometimes its boring, but well, i guess being a student is so much better. at least i dont have things to worry like family, money and work... haha, all i have to do now is CONCENTRATE ON MY STUDIES. that's crazy man.

yes it is, cos im having my physics SPA tomorrow. (for those who doesnt know, its that stupid new syllabus of science that makes you plan and carry out experiments. cmon please, its not like im gonna be a scientist or something. ESPECIALLY NOT A PHYSICS ONE) yes, my physics sucks. not only my instincts, my heart, my mind, my everywhere is telling me im so gonna flung it so who cares. LOL.

just some thing to update bout my dearest school NTSS...

1. oh you know, mrs catherine ang is gone! for GOODNESS' sake. ya, she can go SLOWLYYYY get her master's at australia. who cares, FOR IM ALR OUT OF NTSS THEN! whoo.

2. mdm fong retired today, ON A MONDAY, after like been in new town for two years? hahah

3. check out wikipedia manzx. and then type in under search: New Town Secondary School. its sooooo interesting i really highly recommend you to read it. maybe i should feedback to mdm neo! i wonder who did that man... so yupp, i wont tell you what's its bout, go, dont be lazy, just go!

there's all for now. just wanted to comment on today's physics lessons. mr james tan was so super funny. he was more like teaching us the 'ways to live life' happy-go-luckily like him and i find it cool. yeahh, i wanna be like him one day too. he's gr8, really.

and then and then one last thing before go cos i wont be updating any soon.

mdm neo asked me to write my DSA application form the third time alr. she says i need to consult some english man. WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, its like as if she has very

good english!

Sometimes you hold so tight,

It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

& that somebody is ME!

whoo, school's starting manxz. i've been busy. going out! hey, i've been busy studying too ok. i met up with wendy a couple of times only and i totally lost contact with the others! missed so many of them like munyee, weisheng and of course raymond! looking forward to seeing them soon...

edmund's back!

24 hours aint enough for me. i spend 12 hours sleeping. 6 hours studying(im lying) and the rest for free time. what a way to divide my day. but well, i dont wanna wish for any more time cos its alr killing me!

im quite broke. i dont know where i spend my cash on. i must really learn to save!

its so hot today, im perspiring like crazy. i wanna go invent this cap that has a built-in aircon. that's gonna be so cool. yeah, im mad. HAHA.

tell me tell me, somebody tell me O's coming. & then stress me more. till i go nuts!(even though i alr is now) i had this stupid irritating NIGHTMARE the other night... i dreamt that i failed my O's ok. lol, thanks to all the naggings i received... :D

Oh, little cutie

When..you talk to me

I swear..the whole world stops

You're my sweetheart

And I'm so glad that you are mine

You are one of a kind and..

You mean to me

What I mean to you and..

Together baby,

There is nothing we won't do

'cause if I got you,

I don't need money

Palau Ubin was fun.(exclusive of the usual mosquitoes bites) went with cousins. relaxing. enjoyed the scenery and such a time out. cycled a lot! it was challenging cos many were uphills and others had to go on stones. I'm so drained now. will still wanna go again. <33 nature!

I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be
That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here

i swear I'll give that rotten apple up.
i really will, please believe me.
i promise i won't let you down anymore.

today, i was a bad girl. yeah, really bad one. i stared at ppl! :O yes, guoyi is actually doing that. hahaha, the incident this morning was SOOOOOooo retarded. yupp, i almost stirred up trouble but oh wells, i decided not to. haha, like i say, I SURE HAVE BeTTER THINGS TO DO ok. :D

yeah yeah, i studied! good good, for the whole of today i guess. i shall continue my Tuesdays with Morrie later on. tralala, im feeling good. that's cos im finally, LIKE FINALLY, learning how to appreciate the love showered on me. i dont know why but i finally woke up from my dream and told myself im living in reality. shall treasure what's there now and never let go of it. i dont want to regret this decision cos i know by then it'll be too late!

monday i did another super embarrassing thing AGAIN!! argh, its really so awful ok. I ACTUALLY FELT INTO A POND. luckily it was quite dark, so i guess nobody saw it. maybe a security guard did. or a few others passer-bys and strangers. but but but, i was just lucky i didnt drown. ok, i wouldnt, cos it was to my knee only. and there were any fishes. HAHAHA, it was just water, a small round mini fountain kinda thing that is about the size of a dining table. yes, so suay, so paiseh! alamak, luckily i wore shorts, so it wasnt THAT WET, but still, my wet kena. haiyo. how stupid can i get. hahahah. i was laughing all the way and if anyone videoed, i bet it can be sent for the singapore's funniest video. lalala, had much fun somehow though.

Please give me one more try for the sake of our love,

Let's give it one more chance coz I can't give you up.

I can't live one more day without you in my arms,

I could never find another like you.

Could be the lies, could be my pride.

Could be the times I wasn't there.

And all the nights we didn't share.

its been more than a week since i blogged... i have been quite lazy as usual. well, its not that i dont wanna post, its just that holidays are boring, ok, maybe my life is, and its especially irritating when you dont even really get to use the computer.

i dont have to return to school anymore for this holiday so i spend most of my time now at home or go to the library to study. there's just too many tuition i drown myself with but well, there are also times i go out to have some fun...

you know, i FINALLY tried it - sheesha! a cool yet unexpected feeling kinda thing. looking forward to the return of edmund, so i can go again! talking bout him, was looking for something to give him but i'm so lost! ahh, who cares... haha

kungfu panda was nice. many little kids around, all the gigglings. it was short but overall very exciting and funny. the characters were all so cute so i think it was good, well-drawn. i enjoyed it especially with a big screen and sitting right in the middle. most importantly, i guess its with whom i watched with the best part bout this movie. great company, THANKS for making out this time for me!!

ohh, guess what guess what?? i'm going to malaysia desaru tonight. or you would say tomorrow morning. cos i've to wake up like at 4.30am. lol. its alright, go relax! i love sightseeing and then i can EMOOOOO. i really do hope i don't eat a lot when i'm there cos i think i've been putting on so much weight! argh..

i used to care bout what people think of me,

then i realize i can't please everyone...

i'm unsure who likes me and who doesn't.

one thing i'm sure, at least

i won't be losing any sleep over it ANYMORE

oh, first day of the holiday classes today. so boring, i skipped chemistry and i missed electrolysis! physics was alright cos it was short. then went lunch with candice and isabel. ate so much for just that 3 pieces of pizza. returned to school for geography lesson. i hate myself for being so in a holiday mood now.

GuoYi's falling for tuition & assessment books! i dont know why but its fun attending class and doing work you know. guess she's really going crazy, she's really under great stress...

wheeeeeeeeee, so boredd. tralala, someone entertain me please.

you know, people dont like me!
you know, i was so fed up today.
you know, I'm so disappointed at whom i used to call my BEST FRIEND.
OUCH, YOU KNOW HOW F. IT HURTS?!

" & we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong,

No way you're never gonna shake me.

I know that you'll be right back, believe me,

It's only a matter of time. "

Rules of the Taggy Quiz :
A] People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B] Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be ?
oh, slap him on the spot if I've the chance and say, "don't let me see you ever again.". DIE. (so drama-mama)

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be ?
be reborn again. i wanna start life all over again or maybe let time go back itself. if i relive, i can correct all my mistakes and be someone perfect.

#3. What will your dream wedding be like ?
well... how bout by the beach and under the sea? after all its the same as long as I'm with the one i love.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you ?
yes, kinda. I've many ambitions 'cos i ain't an adult yet so perhaps I'm still not ready? I'm unsure if i can achieve those goals...

#5. What's your ideal lover like ?
someone who loves me deep deep, definitely. cheerful, outgoing, gentlemanly and sensitive to my feelings... funny, generous and taller than me too!

#6. Which would you go for, someone you love or someone who loves you ?
i think being loved by someone is more blessed than loving someone. don't you know, loving someone isn't easy but then again, if everyone waits for love, nobody will be there to love. i guess being loved takes courage while loving takes even more.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love ?
never really thought of this. err, i tried taking 2 years? until someone else comes to take over him. i think waiting is stupid, its a waste of time. that's 'cos i found out that eventually, God will let you know that you're making a fool out of yourself.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do ?
i hate this. so hate it. IRRITATING, especially if you know who he's attached to. i think I'll give up in the end. ya, i don't want to be called a third party.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days ?
plenty of things. first, at home, with all the you-know-who. then, all the quarrels with people, my friends. i hate being lazy. sleeping is like taking up all my time. studying. when i come across a math question i spent hours on but still cant solve. getting back my lousy results even though i tried my best. lastly, when i cant be perfect. i know i cant be but i just want to be. i want to do many things to satisfy myself, and also make everyone else happy.

#10. What do you want most in life ?
happiness. that includes a wide range.

#11. Is being tagged fun ?
once in a while, yes, especially when I'm bored and that it is interesting but this one has way too many questions.

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time ?
that would make me 26. flying around the whole world? I'm an air-stewardess-wannabe.

#13. Are you someone who plans for rainy days ?
NOT REALLY, i live each day like i like. fine, I'll work on it.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is ?
friendly. weird! can be funny and nice talking. A SUPER GOOD LISTENER, can give good advice.

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor ?
SINGLE AND RICH! duh. I'm so independent and i believe in myself, i can be very lonely but who cares, why torture myself? who needs love man, you cant survive on it.

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be ?
a tiger or how bout sheep? an elephant will be nice too.

#17. What is your favorite song right now ?
something right - west life

#18. What kind of person do u think you are ?
strong on the outside, weak inside. extremely sentimental, fun to be with, lame and extrovert.

#19. What do you define as a bad day ?
being scolded, hearing people talk bad bout me or of my friends or argued with my best friends... realizing that people dislike me... being very late or feeling sick & tired.

#20. If you have to choose between love (as in boy-girl relationships) and friendship, what would it be ?
friendship. unless its marriage. but i know i wont get to make such a decision if my both my friend and my boyfriend are understanding people.

I'm tagged by Melissa Guo, surprisingly. I shall tag: Mun Yee, Yan Wah, Ahmad, YanLin, Simin, Candice, Xin Er and Raymond! FYI: i changed one question, guess which!?

dreams. what exactly are dreams? I've many dreams every night and even within just that ten minutes while i doze off reading a book.

i had a bad dream last night, a nightmare you call it. it made my heart skip a beat cos' i dreamed that i fell off a mountain i was climbing and nobody was there to help. then the thing is they could only watch me fall.

i woke up, glad that it was all a dream. i tried to go back to sleep but i couldn't. i cant help but think what the dream meant. maybe its telling me that nobody cares. maybe its telling me what's the point of working so hard? eventually I'll still fail or lose to others. i became so fed up with myself and finally i drifted back into my sleep.

for that twenty minutes, i had another dream. well, it was a much better one. it wasn't even a dream. it was more like a playback of my past. my brain wanted me to remember some things and to my surprise, what i thought i had long forgotten had 'happened' all over again so vividly just now.

that was me when i was much much younger, seven or eight years old? sisters and i would always follow my dad on his car to pick my mom off work. we would hide in the car, behind and under the seats, trying our best not to let mommy spot us and then give her a big 'boo'. even though almost all the times she knew we were there, she would pretend to be shocked and smile. those were the days...

what's the point of looking back now? in life, learning from our mistakes ain't the only important thing to do.
moving on is too.

i think my body was signaling to me. its either that I'm too stressed out, or that I'm gonna fall sick soon. this ain't very healthy for me, its making me feel so tired even after i wake up from my nap. so mentally drained.

i asked myself if anyone cared, anyone bothered. i asked if i am a cheap desperate girl asking for some attention and hoping for her existence to be realized. am i? am i really that bad, that lousy? why is it that i have so many friends yet i feel lonely? are they even my friends, or are they all just hypocrites whom I've seen over and over again? why is it that i no longer feel the warmth i used to get. everything seems to become so cold, I'm losing my senses. yesterday is already history, everything i missed is never gonna come back. today is what i fear most. but i shall choose to believe that tomorrow will be a better day. I'll be waiting, waiting for the rainbow after the storm.

today we managed to catch up a little,
but we never seems to finish talking.

hurray to all those who hate me.
cheers to all those who dislike me.
congratulations to all those who've finally take me down.

oh, midyear examinations are finally over! results time... hai, the poor teachers must have been stressed out marking and apparently, many of them are absent today so ya, as usual predicted, only ms ang returned the maths paper. well, iknow i shouldnt be greedy, i should be contented that i got an A alr but cmon, i still lost to the top in class, by that 1%. you know how much it irritates me?

been having sucha bad week. maybe not, maybe i should just look onto the brigter side. ha, im sucha good liar. im soooooooo good at comforting at myself but those who know me well, you know how im feeling deep inside.

oh, cravings for prawn meee. :D

i know i have a bad attitude.
i know i have a shit problem here.
i know i suck.
i know im stubborn.
i know im a loser.
i know i cant change.
i know i know i know.

SHUT UP.

Two people wanting to know each other, but they don't understand each other well.
Hence they argue, but what exactly are they arguing about?
Aren't both parties willing to give it a shot again?
Why must we go through pain and suffering and all the bitterness before we decide to start again?

Promises.
What promises?
Who broke what promise? Did it really happen? Was there even a chance to clarify?
Is there a need to clarify? Should there be forgiveness? Why can't forgiveness come naturally?
Must we be upset and depressed before everything will painstakingly march its way back on track again?

Memories, back to haunt us again.

i dont even know what's the schedule next week! i mean seriously, which day for which exam... i just know im having exam, and im supposed to study. yeah, that's all. HOW SAD.

oh anyway, new nice blogskin? :D was bored, oops, :X hehe
this is brighter, much more positive. lol

my mom was being racist again just ytd. so evil, so mean. she's so unreasonable & so not understanding. i mean, cmon, singapore is a multi-racial country ok, stop discriminating others.

its may! holidays are coming but so are all the people's birthday. argh. cash cash cash again.

wish me luck for MYE manzx.

i screwed my own life with both my hands. so lost.
i didnt regret. she's worse than me. she's feeling the pain i once felt. maybe twice more? i've all i want now so what's there to get mad at? no dammit. she's winning me again. i hate to admit but no, i cant accept it!! WHY?!?! just because of that... forget it.

ya, and i was saying, school days aint as fun anymore. i was so not looking forward to today's PE lesson especially when there's NAPFA. i mean, its getting so boring(that's cos i dont win and medal), tiring and irritating. you know there's lesson later on, CHEM LESSON, and there we are, all sweaty, sticky, in our double layer(uniform + PE Tshirt). eew, so disgusting. cmon la, i slept for like half a period for chemistry cos ms liang aint doing anything.

well, in the end, the math test on differentiation last friday that ms ang returned us woke me up. she didnt nag at me but my result was crap. SERIOUSLY. like... 11/20? hmm, maybe you'll comfort me: at least you didnt fail. YA RIGHT, i guess that'll be soooooo helpful. hahah, alright, i admit i was having a very bad headache then so i couldnt concentrate on doing it. HOW SAD. okay, good job, gonna drill myself with all the 10year series questions tonight to make sure i do well for the test tomorrow. argh.

im so full of complains. hahah, for now, im back to differentiating. please wish me luck. THANK YOU.

P.S.: just realised that my blogskin is so dark, should get it changed soon.
dont wanna look THAT emo.

i cant be bothered anymore.
at times, i really miss you, i really dream of you. its just uncontrollable.
waiting for a call now. i fear of what i am going to say.
ouch, its beginning to hurt all over again.
so stressed up, exams here.
what's up with those people?
i am so tired.
why are you doing this to me?
why is it happening?
what's going on?
SCREW LIFE AT 16.

I FINALLY DECIDE TO BLOG AGAIN!ha, even though im very lazy to do so. hmm, nothing much, I HAVENT BEEN STUDYING OK, just that i didnt use the computer and then just slacking around. argh, i was so sick last week so ya, pls be understanding if you're keen to find out what's been happening to me in my life through my blog. yupp, MUST START STUDYING!! ok ok, here i go.

im mad. im actually looking forwardd to midyear and then Os ok :D

i believe in You.

ok ok, i said i will only blog once a week but oh well, since its a happy occasion, just bear with it and allow me to express my feelings for today!

many many thanks to...

#1. MISS SURIANI!! she's super cute, her 'LIMITED EDITION(ONLY 10PIECES in Singapore) ELMO' must have been not so cheap...
#2. DARLING MunYee a.k.a. HE MIN ER. another great friend.
#3. WEISHENG, my dearest nephew. haha, the lastest dark merci chocolate is just fantastic!
#4. POORNIMA & TANYANLIN. for giving me that photo frame. didnt quite expect that!
#5. RAYMOND MA RUIYAN. hahaha, oh, most realistic & practical! i love the simple note book. priceless and limited edition cos its once and only piece in the whole world hand written by he himself! lol
#6. ZOEY HOOO. she's so sweet. i like that keychain so much. :D really, SO MUCH.

sucha good day! many many prezzies. so happy. hahaha. ohh, i love many others too. like jiewei, jeslin, qihui, joy, fizah, karthik, jeremy, kenneth, wendy, yanwah, adi, daryl, guru, simin, dean, shirley, ahmad, sean, vidya and many others who sincerely wished me a happy sweet 16th birthday. OH, NOT FORGETTING MY SISTERS FOR THEIR WISHES TOO. i really enjoyed this day and may the older i grow, the more mature i become! i wanna grow up, be someone useful and realise my dreams and potential. hehe. LALA, yeah, guoyi's feeling ambitious.

anyway, karthik just called me for a good news. i'll be attending the speech day this year, my last year in NTSS. i mean previously, i wasnt invited to any cos i wasnt THAT smart or THAT good in my CCA so ya, i never once had an award. how depressing when i find out that i didnt top for last year's maths. FINALLY, now, im going for the 2008 commendation day because... hehe, find out yourself. TRALALA. sec 4 alr, im doing myself proud!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, faazul added much spice to my birthday today! i received this tiny gift but its alright, its the thoughts that count! by the way, it was especially meaningful. i had this little pathetic slice of ice cream cake alone too but i definitely wouldnt forget it. well, already looking forward to my next NC16 movie!! hmmm, we havent quarrelled for 2weeks alr, i guess that's really way enough for my bday. (:

looking forward to seeing my primary school peeps tmr. missed them loads.
AND AND AND, steamboat-ing with ian and group on sat! my place... BUSY BUSYY ME

its my birthday! this photo is like taken last year though.
I'm so bored! its past midnight and I'm not asleep yet. well, only received a few messages on this 16th but yeah, I'm contented. everyone kept asking met what i want on this special year but i always just put on a smile and reply, "nope, that's nothing i want." and they all go like, "IMPOSSIBLE." i mean seriously, I'm just so thankful for everything i have. well, so wanna know what's my birthday wish this year? easy la, like any other years, i want to stay happy. and you know, its not easy! obviously there's something more than that but you wouldn't wanna know, it wouldn't come true. at least i know, God was being fair to me already. (: alright, for now, looking forward to seeing my friends tomorrow, and yeah, my celebrations after school!

P.S.: Sean, my god-bro actually told me that "oh happy 16th birthday, is the age that you can have sex." *gosh, SMACKS FOREHEAD*

oh, its a saturday! another weekend. its a slightly longer one because of good friday ytd! oh guess what, ypg went out ytd. omg, its like a once a year outing kinda thing. HAHA. so cool. we had some fun thought. LOADSA GOSSIP. well, at least yl cleared some of my doubt. step up 2 was quite nice even though i didnt believe it at first but after being dragged by those girls, yupp, they proved me right. and then we spent more than 50bucks(outta which $10 is the service charge + GST). siann. then we didnt quite have time cos pooh was walking slowly. hehe. oh, we didnt take neoprint too. AND AND AND, i didnt buy the dress i wanted to. hahahah.

i started mugging alr. :O amazing. hahaha, i dont know why. it good that at least i got into the mood. hehe. all the best to me. my week's been gr8! await another one ahead :D

yes, my 'BEST FRIEND' is coming back to school tomorrow you know?

first day of term 2!! i didn't sleep well last night and 'accidentally' slept for 3 hours just now! oh no! yes, i just wasted all my time again. looks like I'll go study past midnight later!

school was alright, will be having a new time table, and gosh, MATHS AND MATHS EVERY SINGLE DAY, man, what did i do to numbers the previous life that they never let me go now? Ms Ray came back and she's telling us to highlight the whole book again... yawns, that's why i don't quite like her teaching style. at least the guru sitting beside me in SS class now is so super quiet.(:

oh and you know, changes made to seating arrangement! I'm nearer to MunYee now! so excited. but that also means that I'm sitting right in front of the white board, in the middle, under the fan, next to where the teacher usually talks. yes, I'm so gonna concentrate then!(hopefully i won't use my phone so often too)

I'm gonna blog only once a week now, to cut down on usage of the computer, i wanna be a good girl yea! i can do it. oh anyway, today went to computer lab during Moral Ed lesson. we did this career exploration thing which i found pretty cool. guess what guess what. guess what GuoYi's gonna be in perhaps a few more years down the road? SOMETHING TO DO WITH AIR FORCE!! perhaps a pilot or something? gosh, it really got me thinking. i mean, that's what the computer says after I've done the survey. it matched my abilities and interests you know? SO COOL!

lastly before i get back to my work, I WENT TO DENTIST TODAY. after quite long... i finally visited one again.(besides the one i had to go in school) i did scaling. having to suffered 20minutes of pain, i still had to pay S$60, how great. maybe i should be a dentist too, then I'll be rich! the doctor was quite gentle and didn't complain or comment much on my teeth. it was generally healthy even though my gums are somewhat being not brushed in the proper way? i didn't quite what she meant either. oh, i guess what freaked me out was... SHE SAID I HAD TO GO BACK AGAIN TO DO FILLING FOR THE LOWER LAST RIGHT TOOTH. gosh, NO!!