raining kittens and puppies :D, HUNGRY.
i still.... - backstreet boys


finally there's some water falling from the sky. yeahh, more cooling indeed. accidentally fell asleep just now at 6pm and woke up just only! im so pig! hmm, that's just to ensure that i dont fall asleep in my tuition later. lol.

school was quite short today. changed of time table again and its troublesome! suckkk.
then left school soon after assembly cos everyone wanted to eat. so we went pizza hut AGAIN. im getting fat ): or maybe i already is. rawrr. ohh, ikwan was nice today. he joined us and bullied me all the way! ): haha. lastly... what happened in the end? I PAID THE BILL WITH ALL MY MONEY AND I GOT NONE LEFT TO RENT MY KIMONO NOW. OMG. lol, i think i'll chase after them or think of something else...
not so looking forward to tomorrow's soccer at kallang there. im like clastrophobic and so many ppl's going! worse still, im afraid my mom will find out!! ohh, there's fireworks too right? hmm, wonder who i'll watch it with...


im sorrie, i know you know its my fault but just didnt say it out. cant you see, i was like the one who made you hang out with me and slowly that's how she so didnt like it and i was the one whom indirectly broke your up. yeahh, you know, maybe if you've scolded me off, i'll feel better, cos i gotta live with this guily everyday. it hurts more knowing that you're also drifting away from me. i dont know what else to say except sorrie cos everything has already happened. i never thought things will turn out like that. i was too innocent then, thinking that we will just stay together and be part of each other's life all the way but she has changed. so have you, and i. so maybe we should just carry on with this life filled with unfairness, go on seperate ways and let things be. cos there's all we can do.
i gues... we'll never get to eat dinner together in that hawker center anymore? no, wanna let you know, i will rmb that night forever. that's what i called friendship. its gonna stay in my heart. im sorrie, forgive me pls? dont force yourself if you cant, its gonna be hard on you.

HOT, sweating like a pig.
no no - westlife


i think we're really going to die of this weather one day or perhaps SOON. seriously, ALL OF US. just read the news: the temperature has been rising so much and so rapidly that in italy, it broke the record of 1895 with a temperature of 47 degree celcius. its completely crazy, nuts and UPSETTING. why? cos most ppl cant be bothered bout it and are contributing to it. i mean, i admit sometimes i do forget and help to waste paper... but, ahh, let's just all conserve and practice 3Rs k? thanks! ((:

okay, im a good girl, returned home "rather" early today and then came back to check out IVLE and print out some notes for self study. hmm, been so hot lately i can just melt anytime you know! haha, and so you guys must take care k? (:

today was a long school day i think, and i slept throughout the free 2 math period. okay, I EVEN DROOLED. hehe, shh! i think im still not so much into the school day, studying, homework mood but ahh, gotta get it back soon cos my O level chinese oral is just in one week time and at the way im speaking now, IM CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. saddd.

had the SUPERBAND thing after school. i was so busy with stuff i feel like im becoming like "her" but whateva man. I CAN HANDLE, YES I CAN!! well, i can be a good liar at times though. sometimes i just tend to lose confidence for example just now, i simply thought of backing out for a while cos i thought the guitar is just so hard to learn! let's hope i can do it...

by the way... watched the softball match outside the field today. HOPE THEY WON and good luck for the upcoming matches, juniors! SMILE, no stress. you always got your friendly neighbourhood joker here to be behind your all the wayyyyyyyyyy! (:


i cant believe i put up such a good act in front of everyone. i simply walked past you like nothing had happened, as if we're strangers. wow, how bout a clap for me? i wonder if your heart said anything to you, but mine definitely told me "perfect, you just walked away from what you wanted most, something called LOVE. well done!"

fine, moody.
when you're looking like that - westlife


came back from training and is freaking hungry now cos i smell chicken rice! hehe, feel so sinful today that i ate yoges' cake cos i was supposed to fast! hmm, my muscles aching really badly you know? IM GROWING OLD. oops. haha. yawns, quite sleepy too but needa shower first and then STUDY!! good girl (:

nothing much happened today, my life's like that, getting more boring cos i really cant be bothered with most things anymore, be it friendships or in my love life.


i was quite sure you saw me, but you simply turned away and the broken heart shouted OUCH.

this kinda reminds me of that certain someone... sorrie, im just being random. (: its a good song anyway, so hope you like it and here it goes:


Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance

To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

cold, depressed.


its rather disappointing to hear that things didnt really go so smoothly.
1. i didnt get to change my seat and seat with munyee. ):
2. i've apparently shrinked and grown fatter.
3. i dropped from band 2 to band 3 for humanities.
4. IM IGNORED BY SOME PPL.
5. my amath test sucked and what's worst? I LOST TO HER: ( munyee, you know who.)
now do you wanna hear more? i would probably have more to complain if im in the mood. I HATE IT. i really do. i know i gotta face the fact, but its so hard, so stressful.
tell you what, im really going to fast and make sure i dont put on any damn bloody weight.
then i will work damn bloody hard on my ss + geo AND ENSURE THAT I DONT GET INFLUENCED!!
lastly, about that someone who cant be bothered bout me, FINE, let it be man. ((:


right, let's talk bout something more fun.
we went to telok kurau sec today to promote and sell our TTC a.k.a. take the city walk last year and teach them stuff all that. i think it was only a 2-hr workshop but i actually fell in love with one of those malay guys from my group!! cool? HA-HA. will show you the photo someday :D
OHH... AND THE UPCOMING CME LESSONS WILL BE MORE INERESTING ( I THINK )


may be its just too empty inside. perhaps i just need to fill it up with some love.

cloudy, uncomfortable.


its been really hot. i mean, i dont know if its me or is it global warming. i had a bad nose bleed this morning and have been feeling sleepy again. i was so drowsy just now i could just have fainted. it all started because i woke up rather early this morning with only a few hours of sleep to supposely play badminton with kenneth, ahmad and yanlin but being forgetful, i didnt remind ahmad that its a sunday and we gotta book the courts early so yupp, in the end we ended bowling at west coast. then went to eat pizza hut, blah blah. followed by going to tuition and i was already half dead everytime i see that teacher. wanted to go to the library for a while but bro came and fetch me and went to nap. HUNGRY AGAIN NOW.
school starting: hopes everyything goes smoothly... AND I BET THAT WILL BE SPOT CHECK


its like falling in love with you all over again. DAMNN.

sunny, sleepy.


didnt sleep well again. hmm, yawns, but anyway im still going out now. its like, i just came back from my lunch and shopping, and then i still have to go out with yvonne. quite lazy but well, why not? i guess the worst thing is that my mom's tagging along complaining that she wants to follow and take a look at vivocity too. omg. rawrr, i feel like just staying at home to do my homework already. LEFT WITH CHEMISTRY. zz. oh yeahh, i think im changing my hp no. again, for more info, pls come and look for me in persoN! :D

windy, drained.


today had a good time playing badminton with kenneth and ahmad. its like, i havent beat ahmad, now comes another opponent, kenneth! haha, i think i need secret trainings in order to beat them! shh, dont tell them k? (: anyway, i think i really used all my strength cos i dont really have any left. havent been eating well. my appetite is getting smaller and perhaps im happy bout it but i can feel that somehow because of this i tend to get a little more moody these days. like so randomly pissed. ahahah. whateva, tmr's the day to mess in kitcheN!;D

1st Lady - Never Be Replaced

Baby I Love You And I'll Never Let You Go
But If I Have To Boy I Think That You Should Know
All The Love We Make Can Never Be Erased
And I Promise You That You Will Never Be Replaced
Baby I Love You And I'll Never Let You Go
But If I Have To Boy I Think That You Should Know,
The Love We Make Can Never Be Erased
And I Promise You That You Will Never Be Replaced.

I Love You,
Yes I Do
I'll Be With You Aslong As You Want Me To
Until The End Of Time
From The Day I Met You I Knew We'd Be Toghether
And Now I Know I Want To Be With You Forever,
I Want To Marry You And I Want To Have Your Kids
Thinking Never Compare To The Feeling Of Your Kisses.

I Can Say I'm Truely Happy Till This Day
You Make Me Thank God That I Live My Life Everyday
Theres Never Been A Doubt In My Mind That I'd Regret Ever Having You By My Side.
But If The Day Comes That I Have To Let You Go
I Think Theres Something I Should Probably Let You Know
enjoyed Everyday, That I Spent With You And I Will Miss You 'cause I'm Happy That I Had You At All

Baby I Love You And I'll Never Let You Go
But If I Have To Boy I Think That You Should Know
The Love We Make Can Never Be Erased
And I Promise You That You Will Never Be Replaced
Baby I Love You And I'll Never Let You Go
But If I Have To Boy I Think That You Should Know, The Love We Make Can Never Be Erased
And I Promise You That You Will Never Beeee Replacccceeeeddd

I Feel For You, Yes I Do
I'll Be With You As Long As You Want Me To
Until The End Of Tiiiimmmee.

fine, lonely.


no sentosaing today. rawr. who's fault? aww, whateva. anyway, had a little bit of studying today with timothy and then also a little bit of baking with poornima. today was quite a good day at least. hmm, had a little bit of trouble at writing my compo and doing chem though. seem to have forgotten loads of things and get no inspiration from no where.
LOOKING FORWARD TO BADMINTON-ING TOMORROW!! ((:

THANKS TIM FOR YOU WONDERFUL CHOCOLATE! yum yum :D

sunny, calm


today im staying at home to study but im not sure if i'll really do it though. its like, still got piles of homework undone and yet i can be here rotting away... haha, who cares, i got ppl like daryl and weisheng to die with me! ((: we're supposed to go out today anyway but somehow some ppl didnt agree on somethings then we had to cancel it. sigh, well, there's always another time, no worries. hehe.
looking forward to tomorrow's sentosa's trip!

emptiness filled me up deep inside. it makes me feel depressed when im bored. it makes me lonely when i got a joy to share. it turns me to someone more quiet. even though i hate it, i know, at least i gain something called the freedom. everything's not so bad afterall. i just need to look on the brighter side.

guess what? just finished reading all my past posts and realised how silly i used to be. haha, i dont know what made me start reading them all but its really cool to see how i grow up and change in life from time to time. hmm, and yeahh, i also realised how crazy i can be back then... always crying blah blah. haha, well, at least for now, my post is getting shorter and shorter.

i never expect myself to look good in that but still... haha, why not you comment on it? ((: at least its my dream to wear it! and its nort cheap at the price i rent it k...



and this is what poornima and i did when we were crazy... ((:

drizzle, empty.


its my 200th post! ((: haha, its been raining lightly this few mornings. as i looked out to the sky, it seems like its crying. or perhaps, im just being too persimmistic. anyway, received a message at 6am just now from habib. he's really a sweet guy. he's merely leaving for 3 days, and he still bothered nagging at me to tell me take care of myself and of course of poornima. i may always complain that he's one big naggy guy but which girl doesnt like their bf to be that way? so caring... so loving... aww, enough of envy. first, i envy yanlin of ahmad, now its poornima turn. well, sometimes i really wonder, is it envy or is it jealousy? i bet i'll never get this chance of finding my mr. right. hey mr right, where're you? when'll you appear? haha. hmm, its okay, i rmb i told myself some time back, once is enough, but after that i didnt give up on trying another r'ship. now i know, maybe its just really not my thing. oh ya, and dont bother matchmaking me man, it wont work. yeah, im serious. haha.

lastly... just wanna wish them luck in finding the everlasting happiness they ever want to in their other halves and i know they will, right?! :D

lol, back, havent blogged for a week and decided to post this cos i dont want my dear diary to die away. haha, malaysia was fun and cool, got to see fire works, sun rise and fire crackers. had fever so came back early. and then this morning played badminton with ahmad. quite shiok. feel like growing fatter and so shall not eat from now. will go tanning tomorrow AND RUSH MY HOMEWORK. omg

AND TO THE LAMERS:
IM STILL WAITING TO GO TO SENTOSA.

i stink, and i really need to bathe soon. cos i still need to wear back the same jersey tomorrow. EEW. omg, nvm, anyway, err yeahh, I WATCHED SHREK 3 AGAIN TODAY. i cant believe it. and i just reached home after prata-ing with ryzal, raymond and karthik. yawns, getting sleepy again. today was quite a good day except that im struggling to type this post with my swollen right fingers since yanlin gave me a good whack today. i mean, seriously with a bat cos its all my fault im stupid enough. oh man, just realised my skin are all red hot, NICE TANNING ((:

for you:


Jojo, too little too late

Come with me, stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do you expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand, and you say you've changed
But boy you know your beggin don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game

So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
Go find someone else
In lettin you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help
Cause ya know

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

I can love with all of my heart baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you, I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live, yeah oh

It's just too little, too late
Yeah

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

sunny, useless.


its just too tiring to move on. i dont know what i want anymore. i guess you're just nort the one im looking for. all i needed was someone whom i can share my problems with and spend those wonderful times together. before it hurts more to leave, i should go now. i dont wanna argue anymore, blame everything on me, its all my fault, happy? if only you really care...
cos im willing to give up everything for you, if you show me what true love means.

windy/cloudy, drained.


i know i had been lame, random, or whateva you call it for all that i have written over the previous two posts but it was actually out of boredom. anyway i had good day today despite training this morning.

coach said my batting is okay but my eyeing sucks. he may be blunt but i gotta admit that. whateva, i have given up already, but may be i will go back on my words. nevertheless, i got whacked a few times today, even after the de ja vu. aww, its okay. oh, by the way, i love the weather. ((:

daryl, weisheng, munyee, linus, henglun and i went to watch shrek 3 today at vivo. saw a few newtowners whom i really despised but who cares. HA. i really enjoyed the movie even though it was a short one but it certainly was humourous and sweet. i just love those drawing, AND SO DO I LOVE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S VOICE!! next, they sorta "dropped by" my house cos munyee kept bugging to watch her blah blah whateva SHOWW, right munyee? ((: i shall nort expose your deepest secret. hehe. anyway, the rest of the guys then played my new devices with me in my air-cond-ed room. NO MORE SAUNA. anyway, SORRY DAVE, MISS US. wheee




i wish we could sit down and talk it over AGAIN but how many times have we tried that and when did it turn out to be good? nothing was solved from the start. perhaps you just wont get things right. may be we're just not meant to be. there always seem to be a problem somewhere. well, it probably would have lied on me cos im always the one picking on it cos im too much of a perfectionist, im sorry, you're just not who i think you are. what a disappointment. AND I REALLY HATE MYSELF FOR HAVING SUCH HIGH EXPECTATIONS. cos what's the point? when sooner or later, you'll just chase everyone off.
girl, no one will make friends with you soon.

I WAS BORED SO I DID THIS:


I AM...
WU GUOYI.

I WANT...
TO GO SENTOSA.

I HAVE....
BACKACHE NOW.

I WISH....
I CAN BE SOMEWHERE WITH SOMEONE WATCHING THE STARS AND ENJOYING THE NIGHT BREEZE NOW.

I HATE....
TO HEAR PPL CALL ME NAMES.

I FEAR....
OF BEING INDECISIVE.

I HEAR...
God's words.

I SEARCH...
for true love and friendship.

I WONDER...
if the person i like will ever like me back.

I REGRET...
GIVING OFF MY FIRST TIME TO SOMEONE NORT WORTH IT.

I LOVE...
BEING A LITTLE PRINCESS although it may only be in my GOGOland.

I ACHE...
AFTER EVERY SOFTBALL TRAINING.

I AM ALWAYS...
SLEEPY.

I AM NOT...
RICH.

I NEVER...
WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE WRONG GUY AGAIN.

I RARELY...
play games.

I CRY...
when i get hurt but nobody really knows.

I AM NOT ALWAYS...
SO KIND JUST THAT YOU HAVENT SEEN ME GET ANGRY.

I LOSE...
to her, in everything, and i hated that.

I NEED...
someone to really care and show to me that he or she really means it.

I SHOULD...
IMPROVE ON MY LANGUAGE.

I LONG FOR...
A TRIP TO CANADA?

I DRIVE...
a bicycle.

I ANALYZE...
SMART YET BEAUTIFUL PPL COS THE WORLD IS ALWAYS SO UNFAIR.

I WILL...
never give on my friends cos they mean too much to me.

I HOPE...
i can be a good girl and stop hating my parents.

I HURT...
myself when i realise that im just a weakling.

I FEEL...
DISGUSTED WHEN I DONT RECOGNISE MY PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIEND.

I HIDE...
my feelings away all the times.

I LISTEN...
to music.

I BREATHE...
in more oxygen than normal ppl cos doc says my brain is lacking of it.

I'VE LEARNED...
to forgive and forget.

I DREAM ABOUT...
BEING A DOCTOR WHEN IM SCARED OF BLOOD!

I WAIT...
for my mr. right.

I SAY...
mushy stuff to my only loved ones.

I THINK...
being a career woman who can work and earn a million by 30years old? JOKE.

I KNOW...
i may nort be a perfect, someone as good as you think, but im trying my best to be what you want me to be, cos i dont care bout who i want to be, when all i think is that im just a bitch.

I PLANNED ON...
studying, but apparently, im PROCRASTINATING.

I AM DRESSED TO...
look good (:

who're the 6 people you've in mind now??

1. Mun Yee
2. Wei Sheng
3. Daryl
4. Heng Lun
5. Wendy
6. Poornima

1. Have you ever danced with number 1?
Ans: no? haha.

2. How long do u know number 6?
Ans: 3years(:

3. Have you ever gotten drunk with number 4?
Ans: DUH, no.

4. Has 2 been to your house?
Ans: he was here a min ago.

5. Has number 3 ever seen you naked?
Ans: EEW, PLEASE, NORT ME.

6. Have you ever gone shopping with 2?
Ans: hmm, to be precise, NO.

7. Have you ever seen 5 in a swimsuit?
Ans: oh, i'll definitely wish to (:

8. Have you ever met 1's family?
Ans: yeahh

9. does 4 know your surname?
Ans: HE BETTER KNOWS.

10. Have you ever eaten anything in front of 2?
Ans: too many times, right 2. weisheng? I EVEN FED YOU AND WE ALWAYS EAT TOGETHER, IN MY HOUSE, DURING RECESS OR KOPITIAM.

11. Do you trust number 1?
Ans: of course, or else why would i put her number 1? hehe

13. Have you ever fought with number 5?
Ans: Not to the extend of fighting though but you know girls... once in a while, arguements here and there, pretty alright.

14. When's the last time you talked to 3 in person?
Ans: Just.

15. Are any of your top 6 your family?
Ans: theoritically, 1. munyee is my sister and 2. wei sheng is my nephew. (:

17. Have you ever done something dangerous in school with number 1?
Ans: hmm, i guess she wouldnt allow me so.

18. Have you ever slept in the same bed with 3?
Ans: err, why is it always with 3. daryl?! lie on the same bed to play games ONLY. ha-ha

19. Do you think 5 and 6 would make a good couple?
Ans: they dont even know each other for God's sake and i believe neither is lesbian.

20. Would 3 do anything for you?
Ans: of course! muahahha, i know how to make him do so. ((:

21. Has 2 ever helped you out?
Ans: yeahh, definitely, like always i've bullied him, how dare he not! i know im mean but they're really nice you know.

22. Have you ever slept with number 1?
Ans: as far as i rmb, sadly NO.

23. Which have you known the longest?
Ans: 5. WENDYYYYYYYY

24. Who have you known the shortest?
Ans: 6. POORNIMA!!

25. Has anyone in your top 6 seen you cry?
Ans: i seldom cry so im nort so sure. who cares anyway, but i know 6. poornima did.

26. Have you had a crush on 1 - 6?
Ans: narr, why would i ever?

27. Have you ever done anything illegal with number 2?
Ans: is making him treat me to movies and stuff illegal? (:

28. Will 1 - 6 repost this?
Ans: maybe a few will.


HOPE YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS! (:

sunny, confused.


when i opened my eyes, there was a burning sensation. my fever must be running high again. as if i was intoxicated. there were just somethings i couldnt take it, but i knew i had to. i was the cause, the root of it anyway. at least im relieved i made a decision, and im sorry, perhaps, you wouldnt get to know the truth one day. i shall admit, im a big fat liar, all these shouldnt have happened. i bet no one would get what i mean, but its okay, nobody is supposed to understand it all along. i hope someone would punish me. forget it, like i say, i deserved all these. leave me alone.