Something That I Already Know.

i was bored. yeah, all alone at home... so i shall blog! haha, nothing much today. woke up late today at around noon, had about 12hours of sleep. its been long since i last did that. had super uber heavy lunch and i cant be bothered about growing fat already! lol. cos i know... I HATE GASTRIC. go ahead and call me a pig, i dont really care. :D
tried studying SS but head was feeling so heavy, i can tell not much's been absorbed. i cant do anything else, except Chinese, cos that's all that's left to study for next week. oh, sooo hope i dont fall sick AGAIN.
i wanna go swimming later!! i need to relax! go soak myself in the pool, i just cant wait, but the sky doesnt look friendly at all. ]=

We're to the point of no return
And along the way the only thing we've learned
Is how to hurt each other

I'm looking back and wondering why
It took so long to realize
That nothing's changed, it never will

Mad.

hi, physics paper killed me. totally. for this only paper, i left 10marks worth of blanks. hurray.
today's maths paper 2 was much better than 1 even though i thought i was silly. i thought two and a half hour was long so i was taking my own sweet time at the start of the paper. YA, PANICKED WHEN I WAS DRAWING MY GRAPH at the end. argh. i want the bell curve to be as low as possible! lol, who doesnt? =]
up next, social studies, mother tongue and the paper 1 for both science paper! i cant wait i cant wait to go to work and enjoy my overseas trip with clique! whoo

no meetings with you. no messages from you. no calls from you. no nothing. we lost contact. is this good or is this bad?

So both of us are mad for nothing,
fighting for nothing,
crying for nothing
When we won't let it go for nothing,

continued-

WAN ZAI is so not equal to XIN WANG, for YULENDATOH's information. yeah, she's retarded, doncha know? :D lol. ok, anyway, breakfast SEEMED pretty nice but my SHUIJIAO MIAN tasted. err, cold. oh well. there goes my 4.50. :S



adding pepper to her delicious half boiled egg, I SUPPOSE.


some updates babies! out with my handsome brother MARUIYAN and his dear to shop a little and have some fun. they're nice people. have always enjoyed hanging out with them. i got this cute pink teddy for him for dontknow whateva reason. i just felt like i guess. for commemorating us being SIBLINGS for a year alr! hahaha. (i do hope he's reading this) oh anyway, that's my new hairstyle man babies! ((:



yeah, that's how many pills i took. can you tell how sick i am? :D

asking questions like you already know
hey we're fighting this war when both of us are losing
this ain't the way that love is supposed to go,
whatever happened to working it out?
We fall into this place where you ain't backing down,
and I ain't backing down,
so what the hell do we do now?

tagged by Jolene.

1. Do you have secrets?
Yes, lots of them, i think.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?
Not too young i guess, but fallen before. :D

3. Do you enjoy going to school?
Pretty much. To study, to make friends. To see who i want to see, like you.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Alleviate uneven development. HAHAHA

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
If he's a guy, why not? I did, but it all depends cos sometimes, best friends just remain as the best of friends.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Either or is a blessing. I'm blessed to be loved by my family and friends. I'm also blessed to be able to love you.

7. List 5 favourite movies.
I) The Nun
II) Alving and the Chipmunks
III) 4bia
IV) Good Luck Chuck
V) Freedom Writers

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I would learn to let go i guess. yeah, cos what's the point of holding on?

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
YES, like i am always happy. When i'm with my friends...
Most of all, when i'm with you, and that's when we're not quarrelling.

10. Do you have any regrets?
I believe everyone has. I do. I do have plenty of regrets. Here and there, before and even till now at this very moment, still regretting some decisions i've made.

11. How would you see yourself in 10years time?
26. I would be 26years old. Would have graduated from university, would have been working. Attached? Married? Probably. With you or without you, no idea yet. Let me get my results first...

12. Who are currently the most important to you?
Friends, family & you.

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Goodness, stupid question. (That's cos i don't have a definite answer.) In reality, who doesnt want to be rich? At the same time, how many people can stand being alone, leading a life on his/her own till he/she dies? OK, my answer is the latter one OK? Its not that money doesnt matter, its just that i cant bring my money together with me after i die, so why not just be a little poor but live happily with my dearest husband?

14. What is your favourite colour?
I love all colours. Favourite would have to be pink!

15. Would you give all in a relationship?
I've given all already, havent i?

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
*Let me think* I'll pick the one whom i think i'll have a better and brighter future with? No, i would pick the one who's in love with me too! (: i mean, the one who can take care of me.

17. What are your top 5 countries of your 'to-go' list?
I) Tokyo
II) Switzerland
III) South Korea
IV) Shanghai
V) Africa

18. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
What a question. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages. Well, i can only say, its always nice to have someone to take care of you, to love you and to be with you, you know?

Walk Away.

havent been taking photos so nothing much to upload.

firstly, did my geography elective paper and i am so confident about it. yes, i am. for once i am. in any subjects. ha. friday was maths paper 1 and amath paper 2. omg, you dont wanna know how it turn out to be. THANKS TO MY MOM, (not trying to blame her though) i didnt get to sleep well the night before and so i was half asleep for the paper in the morning. following that, i took a 10min nap in the canteen alone where timothy cant stop disturbing me. i bet i made careless mistakes in the whole of both papers. so im still mad when i talk bout it. I MUST GET MY A OK OK OK.

anyway, i already have plans bout going out tomorrow! cos i MUST relieve stress. i always fall sick because im too tensed up over my studies. ha, honestly, its just that i cant be bothered much bout the physics paper next week. :D
coffin coffin, here i come!

i was having a bad headache again. i hope i'll get better by tomorrow so i can start studying. i havent been doing anything the whole. instead, just lying in bed and watching tv cos i havent had such a bad headache for so long! like seriously, it just feels like my head is splitting halves.

by the way, i hope its not because of the hair treatment i did in the morning at the salon, where the boss is my mom's regular customer. it was good i thought. my first time. i got my hair trimmed too and i quite like it. the uncle's nice, he gave us a cheap price. that's why i would go back again!

im a happy girl now. regaining my self-confidence.
im also a sad girl. why aint you calling me anymore?

Been a long time since you called me
How could you forget about me
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
When Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby

Goodbye.

3 papers down. chem paper 2, English and A math paper 1. they were all alright. i made careless mistake for chem already! so sad. oh, surprisingly i find the English passage interesting(about cats) and i really understood it OK. for once in my life. ha, hope i pass then. that's all pretty much i ask for. math! A, i must get A1. tomorrow geography's up! hopefully the trend continues. the trend of the easy papers. i better pray hard they mark leniently. so i can pass all, and get below 20points for R5. maybe 13 for raw will be nice. :D I JUST CANT WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER! cos i wanna watch coffin! hope its not M18. and then i wanna go out. go and play. work. all planned out! how? CANT WAIT.

indecisive you. what do you want from me again now? is this really what you want now? i do not know what to do. tell me how i can help you.

I can honestly say you've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind

Walk Away.

hello. i am sick, yes i am. down with a bad sore throat, and how bout a fever? yes, it only happened this morning when i wake up. i am so LUCKY. so so so lucky, OK? seen a doctor and like he said, i was too stressed. ha, whatever it is, i am gonna stop all revision from now onwards already. i cannot let it become worse and affect me tomorrow. I CANNOT. its chemistry paper 2 tomorrow afternoon! yes baby, i cant wait. good luck to all the people all the people taking exams tomorrow too man. :D

I can't forget all the crazy shit.
we used to do
You were doing to much
I wasn't doing enough
That's what your friends are saying
You got a man anyway
I can't explain it neither
I ain't never wanna leave ya
Hell ya its hard to walk away when I see ya
When I see ya I remember the day
You put your shoes on and moved on
Before I could say

yes, tonight. totally.

YAY, you finally called!

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

Sorry.

we were supposed to take it together.

school so totally rocked today. there werent any lessons and like what Ian has said, enjoy our last day in school, in that very sec4 class alone with your own that few pathetic classmates. yeah, pretty cool. i was all alone though. sad. no company. :(
anyway, i did geography today and i am quite contented! gotta go brainstorm some English essays later and then FINALLY START WORKING ON STUPID PHYSICS. must i really do it, must i?
i just realized i haven't seen those sweets a couple of days already. HA. if you miss me, leave me a comment man. or you know you can always drop me a text message.
before i forget, for people like JOY, i am sorry i made you guys worry. well, i can only say i am old enough to take care of myself. thanks for all the concern!
alright, i shall go watch some shows to relieve my stress. all the best to combine science students taking practical exam tomorrow!

P.S. if you're reading this then give me a call. i wanna hear how you're doing, please.

I'm sorry
For breakin' all the promises that I wasn't around to keep
It's all me
This time is the last time I will ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way

past 3am in the morning

here i am online chatting. you must be wondering who im talking to then? AINT TELLING YOU! :p

i attended school today! but i skipped lessons. haha, oh well. i think i mgetting tired alr. had a long nap just now and im staying up till so late. all the wayyyyy.

here i am, past 3am in the morning, thinking of you. oh no, things are getting bad, unlike what it seems. missing you is becoming like a daily routine. my missing you diease is getting from bad to worse. what do i do?
boy, every morning i wake up, when i first open my eyes, i wish you were just right there. sometimes you are. cos that's when im in my sweet sweet dream. you always never fail to appear in my mind before i go to mind every night. i think i dont wanna forget you. cos maybe i'll not get used to it.

Do You Remember.

OK, bored. thought i should just post something. the above photos are taken from SEE renfeng :D

so, my weekends were like locking myself in the room and CHEM. yeahh, how sad can life can. im soooooo saturated i can tell you im on my verge of breaking down. all my timing so packed! missy busyy.
one more month. mrs fu told me to tahan another month! i think my prelims results' not very good. so... MUST TAHAN. perserver. lol, yeah, and just friggin' get into that JJ my mom wants me to. you know, i must do very very well for my humanities. not forgetting to touch on my physics too. WILL I BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THIS?
lol, N level's over. you must be enjoying. haiyaya, school's been pretty quiet. i cant wait till to go for student leaders' camp'o8! looking forward.

ok, to all the october babies. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D
that's mainly to TOHQIANHUI, CANDICECHIN, BRYANCHIA, afina, grace and so on!


END OF ME AND MY RANDOM POSTTTTT

Remember we'd be up all night
Talking 'til the morning light, yeah
Like the way it used to be
Those simple days
Just you and me

five years?

you held it up high, and throw it down. you broke that fragile heart. ouch. even though I'm feeling it all over again. it feels so different.
you came and you left. everything just went by so quickly. and all i can do now. is to look back.
i thought a thousand tears could heal my wound. no it didn't. instead, it blinded my eyes. i no longer see things as it is. i drown myself in memories that i should not have.
i know, i know how it feels like to be holding onto the phone. and then waiting for a call, waiting for a message. waiting and waiting.
i don't want to anymore.
so painful. knowing that you're there. but i cant do anything. watch you live your life happily, watch every of your day pass cheerfully. will i be able to survive this?

its taking me just so much courage to say this:

We've run out of words we've run out of time
We've run out of reasons really why we together
We both know it's over baby bottom line
It's best we don't even talk at all

Don't call me even if I should cross your mind
Hard enough I don't need to hear your voice on my messages
Let's just call it quits it's probably better

Missing Me.

I love the way it feels when you touch my hand
Don't wanna let you go

haven't been going to school for more than a week already! missing in action, lol. missed me, anyone? :D BUT I'LL BE GOING BACK TMRRRRR

Don't understand why we can't go on and go on
Don't understand why

Friday.
taught Yulenda Chemistry. the whole of organic ok. you know Yulenda. haha, but well, i got to learn things from the basic all over again. (:

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me

Saturday.
Mommy's nice. went Bugis' temple. prayed! lol, and then she said we would catch a movie to destress. HAHA, that show's really good you know. OH, AND I LOVE MY MOM, she actually got herself and i a new bag. lol, maybe cos its on offer. but still, unbelievable.

Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

Tuesday.
didn't study much. went to MiaoLing's birthday picnic. lol, was fun, got to see many people. yeah, Botanic Garden was fun. oh ya, i like my new green tank top! so is the pair of ripples slippers! lol, thanks Justin and Isabel for helping me pick them. shopping is good! :D

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
I just don't understand

Today.
BABY SWEETHEART DARLING YULENDA TOH'S SWEET 16! her mommy's just as sweet. made chicken wings and bee hoon for us ok. so super delicious can then talk talk talk. they left and we studied. her little cousin's cute! she 'treated' me to dinner while more wallet got damaged! so heartbroken. checked out some prom dresses and headed home.

It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The memories of you here with me by my side
I can't deny that you are the love of my life

promise im gonna stay determined and bury those memories together with the old you. cos that's all i can do. and GOOD FOR YOU is all you can say. boy, its not me and my fucked up pride. cos i gave you umpteen chance and since you ain't treasuring them, then FINE. you don't even realize your mistake. so maybe you should go think bout it. is all that people you called friends worth after all? like, letting them influence you, change you? you used to tell me how much you love me. I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT NOW. all you and your lies. i really wanna be your friend now. i know you wont be THAT petty right? i don't know what's wrong but things would definitely turn out better. like you, back to your friends, and me, back to being busy. i ain't gonna be some thick-skinned and bug you anymore OK? maybe you would prefer it that way? you'll be happy right? you're so selfish. you want me but you don't wanna say. you tell me to wait. but you think its easy? you didn't even give me a glimpse of hope. i don't care anymore. but still, thanks for all you've done. im gonna start anew. if you don't like this decision of mine, TELL ME. go ahead and say it all out. cos you told me the problem lies when i do not talk. now, i never stop expressing how i feel but you? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? keeping silent? keeping it all to yourself? what, scared that your friends will look down on you? afraid? ya, probably you're. alright, whatever it is. we're on separate ways now. don't want anything to do with you ANYMORE

yes, i don't love you no more.

its okay if i'm lying to myself, cos at least i'm trying my best.

And I still cry for you
And I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
And I still long for you
And I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

i had the weirdest dream ever. lol. really. i woke up crying. i mean, i was already tearing in sleep. so incredible. haha.

WAS talking to boon online. YAY, at least now i know he's not angry. he's just some retard with some retarded phone that receives my sms two days later and did not reply. FINE, BE THAT WAY. lol (:

i dreamt of you. its a... rather nice dream i guess? but you must be wondering why i would be crying then. that's cos i know reality is different. haha, well, im just thankful i was given this dream already!


im slowly realising that im almost done with this chapter of my life. i wanna write a sweet and happy conclusion while thinking of how to start the next chapter. this chapter will talk about my sec 4 life, how everything went from suggar sweet to bitter and sour. but i still survived it! hahaha, i shall end it with my exams and the next chapter shall be about the next phase of my life, JC life! lol ;)
if i write another story about both of us, i promise i wont end it the way it all ended now.
if this rship was a railway track, i promise i'll lead you to the end of it, and not let you stray off just like that. i promise i'll never assume the track is ending, and i'll walk with you all the way.

Baby, I know you're hurting
Right now you feel like you could never
Love again
Now all I ask is for a chance
To prove that I love you

Bubblewrap.

I wish I could Bubble Wrap my heart,
In case I fall and break apart,
I'm not God, I can't change the stars,
And I don't know if there's life on Mars,
But I know you're hurt,
People that you love and those who care for you,
I want nothing to do with the things you're going through.

studied studied studied! :D
and im the new yulenda's tutor! whoo.
i wonder how's school these days... haha

will continue studying so miss me!


its really nice talking to you. & i promise i'll make up my mind soon.