guys, im sick. argh. having a horrible a sorethroat, the worst sickness i hated all in my life. haha. then, ya, led to fever and vomit and all that. sorry... blAME it on me for eating freaking so much fried chicken wings, french fries and blah. but they are just so nice! i dont mind having them now... and then today is just my most unlucky day since i got a bad fall in the morning and burnt my finger while baking. ahhh. help. whyy ):

listening to westlife's new album. so... so touching. cant help but just cried. i would definitely grade it 5 stars. it's just too good! oh ya, and i have been a number 1 fan of westlife ever since they are out, the first few english songs i ever listen to and the first band i ever came across. aww. how bout taking a look at the lyric of my favourite song here? let's go:

The Rose.

Some say love it is a river

That drowns the tender reed.

Some say love it is a razor

That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger

An endless, aching need

I say love it is a flower,

And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking

That never learns to dance

It's the dream afraid of waking

That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,

Who cannot seem to give

And the soul afraid of dying

That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely

And the road has been too long.

And you think that love is only

For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter

Far beneath the bitter snow

Lies the seed that with the sun's love,

In the spring, becomes the rose.

hey, im finally updating after a week... ya, my freaking sister been taking over this computer for quite some time so ya... IDIOT... oh well, anw, i have been fine, except that i still like to eat alot and have been sleeping too much... and i really feel guilty when i keep saying lies and go out to play... i should study! oh well, i needa break too. seems like everyone's been enjoying so merry christmas and a happy new year. (:

EDMUND'S BACK!! ((:

sorry girl. sorry i lied to you.

wow, there goes my two weeks in a blink of eye. time flies, yeah? this two weeks havent been good for me anyway. aww, its not gonna crash the cheerful guoyi though she cried in the day before yesterday due to some confusion in her heart. she's a silly girl.

my holidays has been sucky since my mom is constantly nagging at me and not forgetting that i was given a tight slap by her when i was in thai. i thank her for she made me even more rebellious now. (:

i met two guys quite important in my life the day before yesterday. and i walked away without saying anything and teared when nobody knew. they can't be bothered i guess. oh well.

the upcoming sec one camp's gonna be fun, i really do hope. let me remain cheerful even though i still dream of daryl. sigh. dreams aren't something i can get control of so sorry 'bout that.

yesterday went out with poornima, shiva and guru. today went out with poornima, shiva and kader again. haha. its crap la. just sat around an d rot. went vivo to take a peep and realised that was nothing much afterall. dont drag me there next time explaining how good it is!

STUDY HARD GUOYI, & don't forget to buy your new uniforms from queensway before school starts. Heh



OH YA, ONE BIG NEWS:
GUESS WHAT GUYS? THE PHOTO OF Y.P.G. (THAT IS COMMONLY ALSO KNOWN AS YANLIN, POORNIMA, GUOYI) IN ETHINIC COSTUMES IS PASTED IN SCHOOL OF BLOCK G I THINK. SO BIG AND WRITTEN THERE: CARE & CONCERN. OH, THANK GOD FOR THAT.


& i thought y.p.g. disbanded. LOL

hey guys. boo. im leaving soon, so miss me kayy? suddenly i feel sadd, a little left out, cos since i smsed so many ppl and no one replied... sigh, oh well, GUOYI, time to wake up and face the fact! the world's like that, filled with loads of hypocrite, get it? haha. maybe going away for some time can make me feel better too! hehe.

today played with nanyang girls, oh, tough fight i would say, so close... it was 11-13, by 2 runs only! gosh. what to do? sigh. BUCK UP NEWTOWN!! though i didnt play, i felt happy for my team, and being the scorer, i hate myself for being always so blur. sigh. i wanna play the next time round! WORK HARD TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS. coach was right! so right i guess. if we dont even think we can win them, why bother playing? have confidence in every game, and tell yourself they are nothing for if they are good, we will be better. and if they are better, we are the best and if they are the best, we will still be the final standing winner cos we are the number one, THEY CANT BEAT US. haha. what a mind set, he's really great. (: boost lotsa my confidence and made me think through things. (:
suddenly i feel like hating samantha again. haha. im sorry but i just thought she was a betrayer. she supported nanyang when she came down to newtown to be spectator. HOW "LOYAL". lol.

went with szelei and pearline to makan again. been quite close to szelei recently since we always go around eating, and got some ppl backstabbed me by saying bout me hanging out with her and i really hate it. sigh, again, hypocrite. its okay, nvm. back to the eating, szelei and i are like going around singapore on a cab always no matter rain or shine! and then finally i managed to drag her to the coffeeshop near pearline's and my place to eat bee hoon! enjoyed ourselves... ((;


suddenly i feel depress again upon hearing those sad songs sang by jay. wondering whyy? no, not bcos of daryl... probably bcos of a dream just now? it wasnt a dream. it was more like... a flashback... when i was fast asleep after a tiring traiinng.
i rmb... i had to pass the message from her to him so that they could be together...
i rmb... i had to tell him that she said YES to his QUESTION...
i rmb... i was just like a match-maker...
i rmb... i was the third party...
i rmb... i was being nice but in the end i felt so hurt...
i rmb... they were my friends... and couldnt bear to not help...
i rmb... i just seem to rmb that day soooo clearly...
but after remembering all these things... i still had some doubts... like:
i couldn't really rmb... if i really liked him anymore...
i couldn't really rmb... if they were truly my friends...
i couldn't really rmb... how it felt like being hurt by two of your friends...
i couldn't really rmb... how everything really went so smoothly through me...
i guess it's probably not that i couldn't rmb them, it's just that i choose not to. maybe, doing all these to them, and not getting any 'thanks' in return, i dont mind. afterall, they could have simply find someone else to help them, and then they trusted me since i was their friend. at least after doing this sacrifice, can make two ppl happy instead of three of us being down. so i knew i was right to have back off and didnt start a war. i was a good girl though things have became complicated. i dont wanna bring things up anymore, for she's still been hidden in the dark, and maybe... never ever find out some truth, just like me, i may never know what's gonna happen to them or to myself, cos' i never look forward to.



HEY GUOYI, DONT BE UNHAPPY. RMB WHAT YOU'VE PROMISED YOURSELF? NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE, NOTHING'S GONNA BEAT YOU DOWN, FOR YOU'RE THE STRONG & CHEERFUL GUOYI EVERYONE KNOWS, AND NO LONGER THAT TEARFUL & MOODY GUOYI IN THE PAST. THIS IS ME NOW, I'VE COME BACK ALIVE, SAFE & SOUND. xD

alright, time to update. ytd didnt have time to blog cos munyee was at my place studying maths. we were indeed hardworking, spending the whole day in the room, mostly talking and end up not going for a run around our estate. sadd. sigh, so and then i taught her some stuff and did thought that i could be sucha good teacher to explain so well when in the first place i didnt understand the chapter much of matrix. i really do hope i didnt teach her the wrong stuff! hehe.

wendy's coming my place later too. again, to study. i need companion when i study larr. or else it will get sooo bored and frustratingg. so im like going around to drag ppl. HAHA. hmm, i wanna watch a movie and play a match of badmintoN!! sudden urge. haha.


he hasnt been replying to my smses or returning to my calls. what happened? is it purely a misunderstanding or was it done on purpose cos he's angry at me? or probably he has met with some accident and died. LOL. i dont know, and i sure want to know whyy. im going away soon, well, he might miss me, but im quite sure it wont be the other way round, me missing him. it's fine with me if we haven''t been talking for days, but hope nothing has happened to him. God bless. (:

hurray, im proceeding to the third chapter of the a-maths tb. its tiring man, seriously. cmon, try doing those maths questions continuously for four hours and trust me, you will go nuts like me. haha. im taking a break for the numbers so i came over to touch the computer to see if there's any work for me to touch up. oh well, i haven been eating for the past 36 hours already. haha. gotta find some snacks or i will just black out.


seeing her right now really hurts me. now i know how stupid i used to be, clinging on to something that is never coming back. at least i have become smarter now. but that's still someone, my good friend suffering. i hope she really can overcome it like how i do it soon! God bless. (:

oh F. my leg cramp is here again. weather's been bad and cold i guess. and worse still, i still experience body ache over every where after today's training like hell! this morning i didnt know there was a match VS AES, but yanlin sms me at 0730 when i have to reach school at 0800. so i rushed then and managed to reach earlier than she did. haha. so had some warm up and stuff and game started. as usual, im the scorer, didnt play at all but im still glad my team won in the end win a score of 2-21. that's like awesome cos i didnt expect the opponent to be so weak and i think i really like this coach, he's nice. haha. alright. then after that went to queensway to makan with szelei but in the end never. instead, we got ourselves an ice cream and a bubble tea and happily went around looking for shoes. i was starving but i promised not to eat. at least i drank! haha. although im not suppose to have cold stuff, but down they went into my stomach. soon, we came back from there back to school to attend the leaders meeting and then took cab home at four since i really feel sick. bathed and slept all the way till i just woke up and missed dinner. that means i havent eat anything today except pearls from bubble tea! haha. ME=PIG!! zz.

oh man. cramps sucked. haha. it sucks i mean. it has always been sucky. lol. no matter what cramp is it... especially LEG CRAMP. that means i cant swim. haha. pretty cool, today didnt get to go to church, AGAIN. ): budden went for tuition class and breakfast with tutor. hehe. she treated me, nice of her! anw, got to work at home now since i got this new computer called IMAC that has a monitor and a keyboard just like any other laptop and without destop and cost me up tp $3000++ of my pay, i have to definitely make good use of it!! yawn. twenty inch screen really makes one dizzy. alright. enjoying life.

hey guys. new skin yeah? its nice okay. no lousy comment here. lol. and then to make it clear, i chose this skin not because of the meaning behind, but of the VERY CUTE PICTURE YOU SEE UP THERE!! hehe. i like it alot. love at first sight. lol.

like i say... there's no more him in me anymore already. dont worrie, guys. (:

sunny day once again. yawn. just woke up from my ten hours of sleep. currently having gastric again. die la. my stomach is growing bigger in size day by day and my appetite's getting wider. oh well. must be those sucky medicine that makes me fat. yuck. feel like not eating them! haha. nono, maybe i shouldnt eat. okay, decided. im not gonna eat today. i shall just die of starvation. haha. no i wont die. its barely a day only. and i havent been to training okay. i must go run around the whole bukit timah area later. WAHAHAH. what a joke. lol

finally its a weekend today. no work. haha. can start rotting again. or maybe not. stay at home to revise maths. yeah. haha. lala. whee. yay. i wanna catch a movie. or i will really be dying out. lol. but with who? zz ): whos nice enough.


SAY ' NO ' TO ICE-CREAM. (:

sleeping time! okay wait, im talking to this new made friend called benjamin. quite friendly and nice to get along so... yupp, had a great time chatting with him online. we just met only a week ago during the RJC workshop. we didnt talk much though but he claimed that i looked like his friend.. hmm, HAH.

okay, what now? today's work as usual. was punctual at least for once but the boss didnt see me cos he was out. and then got a little early off since i got OT ytd. haha. so i went to cut my hair trimmed and now... its much neater! muahah. i get to gel my hair. I GET TO GEL MY HAIR. haha. joke. not that short, but its just awesome. i proudly announced to i got a satisfying hairstyle. whee. worth that ten bucks indeed!

oh ya, today im supposedly "SICK" bcos i didnt go training and the meeting. sharks. missed that friendly match with STC, but afterall, they lost. heard its 6-11. oh well, sadd. and then the meeting on the student leader thingy really made me feel guilty. argh. responsibility. talking bout this, i dont know to work or to go for the meeting. its like. ee. fine. if i work, i got pay. HAHA. so realistic and materialistic. NOT ME!

and then i might be joing xuanyi and shi hui to visit the old folk and toa payoh tmr. im kind. I KNOW IM KIND. (: its just that we missed him and then decided to meet up and pay him a visit since he's so poor thing. a loner who needs comfort and free food. waiting for us to entertain him and feed him! omg. one-room flat, IM COMING!! and then that uncle is like damn cute la. so this trip there is out of helping and serving the society la. not being forced to or having CIP points. haha. weird, wonder why i will do this too? hehe


GOOD NIGHT, no more horrid dreams!

just talked to him.
started off the conversation with a friendly tone by asking how his brother did for psle and wanted to compare with my sis... i was daring when things turned out liddat:

... ...
can i ask you something?
ya sure.
what does your nick means?
oh nothing much la. how bout yours? got gf arh?
nar. for fun only.
actually... i just wanna admit to you that i havent gotten over some things in the past...
like what?
you would know better than anyone...
i cant do anything.
neither can i. i havent been able to give myself a chance to start another r'ship after soo long.
*no reply.*
fine, at least i got to concentrate on my studies... i have been well, dont worry.




every time i know i will get hurt after hearing what he says... i still want to talk to him... why? *silly me.*

what another sad day. haha. gotta listen to my bitchy mom nag again. haha. im sorry for being disrespectful here but im used to it already. so hope your dont mind. and then currently having a little gastric pain even though i ate some breakfast... wonder what happened... anw. last night had a bad dream again.. even though i dreamt of vidya, it was a nightmare too. sigh. whateva. everyone left for the camp. im all alone. zz

There's just a thing or two
I'd like you to know
You were my first love,
you were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
Even though time may find me somebody new


I'm sitting here alone up in my room
And thinking about the times that we've been through
I'm looking at a picture in my hand
Trying my best to understand
I really want to know what we did wrong
With a love that felt so strong

I'd do anything,
I'd give you my world
I'd wait forever,
to be your girl
Just call out my name,
and I will be there
Just to show you how much I care

It's funny how it starts, just how it all begins.
You get your sights on dreams,and man a thousand different things.
You are on for yourself,you're chasing cool desire.
You get addicted fast, but man you're playin' with fire.

Then there's a day that comes to you.
When you get all you want, but there's a space inside that's still as empty as it was.
'Till an angel comes your way and man she's fallin fast.
You know she's so in need but she is to afraid to ask.

So you hold on out your hands and catch her best you can.
And in givin' love you feel a better man.

*And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive.
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy.
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath.
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you seek.

Man, it's funny how she smiles, how grateful she is now.
And how that touches me deep in my heart somehow.
Yet the mirror laughs at me when I forget myself.
When I complain about, this hand that I got dealt.

And if I had know before, how much she would change my life.
I'd sure go back in time and tell that guy ...hey, man.
You can do better than this, you can answer your prayers.
You can grant your own wish.

Just hold on out your hands and give the most you can.
And I swear to you you'll feel a better man.

im stuggling again. tears of memories. that same old boring story again. countless apologies.





What I got to do to make you love me?

What I got to do to make you care?

What do I do when lightning strikes me?

And I wake to find that you’re not there?

What I got to go to make you want me?

What I got to do to be heard?

What do I say when it’s all over?

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

It’s sad, so sad It’s a sad, sad situation.

And it’s getting more and more absurd.

It’s sad, so sad Why can’t we talk it over?

Oh it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

the voice has been resounding...

"yet you are still trying to forget me after two long years...

what's the point?

just keep me in your heart...

you have never once forgotten all the times we had, at all."

AND I REALLY DONT WANNA DREAM OF HIM ANYMORE, PLEASE?!?!

not again. another night of horror. what happened? rainy nights, is it? so what? i thought he's already gone... that demon in me was supposedly known to be disappeared... no, but its back, back here this few nights... i fell asleep last night though i tried not to since its really tiring and sleepy working the whole day... but soon after i woke up again at 3am. the bewitching hour.. so creepy and eerie... but it was all because of that same dream again. let's not talk bout it man. i didnt want it to happen. i cant return to sleep after that... so im like a living zombie walking around today on earth. with deep eye bags that made me looked like panda, i really cant withstand it!




on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
release me, let me go.

wa. back from work. still went to pick my sis up. the mrt is flooded with stinky ppl. haha. what 'GOOD' weather it is outside now... raining cats and dogs. zz, perfect timing for sleeping(my favourite)! hehe (:

on the way to work...
was late... got nagged. bad mood! but saw my ex teacher... primary school teacher... PRIMARY ONE FORM TEACHER!! and she recognised me. its, so UNBELIEVABLE OKAY. she said i didnt change... yeah, maybe i didnt ON THE OUTSIDE, but most of it in there. haha. and then just for a short while we chatted. she changed alot too. having two kids with her, and accompanied with a loving husband. what a family for me to envy! haha. i think she's someone that i will never forget la... she only thought me for two years but i guess it meant too much. haha. she thought me all the basics and every other things else. sweet!

work...
life was as boring as ever... time seemed to pass like how a snail goes... zz... hungry hungry... FREEZE.


last night...
BAD DREAM... BAD BAD DREAM. I HATE IT. I REALLY HATE IT. i thought he faded away... after soooooooo longggggggggggggggggg. AND YET HE DID NOT. HE STILL POPPED OUT AND APPEARED IN MY DREAM. EVIL. gave me a nightmare... his favourite phrase, YOU WORST NIGHTMARE. aihs. what to do? been thinking of the BLAH before i slept... that's why... cos it's a rainy night again. haha. what a stupid excuse. i shouldnt blame myself i got reminded of him right?! im was simply listening to the song: somewhere we know. so meaningful... yeahh. and then i think i read too much of death note too. and i didnt have enough sleep. so i also dreamt that i killed people with the book. hehe. i must be influenced by munyee! omg. help man. haha. i need a physcatrist. im suffering from insomia. i dont dare to sleep. HOW?!





where is happiness sold and how much does it cost? i would like to have a packet of it. thankyou.