unpredictable, -.
when you're gone - avril lavigne


havent done anything since i came back. having a bad cold. today was a long day. rugby in the morning and then sang lotsa national day song while thinking of the class cheer today with ian during mother tongue lesson. after recess was crazy. you see, there's chem, then cme, and physics. lastly ended off with eng! omg, im glad im survived but now i think im really sick. so stress.

decided to go relax a while, caught a movie with edmund just now. short one: alone. it was... hmm, good? no, AWESOME. how bout excellent? (: havent had sucha great thrill for a while and guess what? i freaked edmund out and so did he do the same to me. haha. we both were like damn funny? covering our faces over one pathetic tiny jacket. i think know he was so cowardly! should have take his photo then... lol. so we ate awhile at westmall then bought some big cardboard from popular and headed home. it actually didnt rain today did it?! haha, we both took 173 and had a long chat. its like, we never ran out of things to say. well, i didnt feel good today. having a bad headache. let's hope i get better so i dont have to miss 4 lessons of math tomorrow especially when there's a EMATH COORDINATE TEST that probably can pull my marks up a bit. sometime its just so ironic. i hated the long boring 2hrs of ms ang's lesson and can fake some sickness just to pon school on wednesdays and self study at home but other times, i cant afford to miss it due to all the fun and catching up with so i'll simply drag myself to school. you dont know how fast angeline ang goes. like a rocket. lol.

candice, munyee and i shall join talentime this year!
there's training tomorrow!
there's sports leaders' meeting tomorrow!
breakfast-ing with suriani tomorrow!
i wanna cycle!
i wanna fly kite.
okay, i know im random.


am i really stubborn? perhaps i am. you dont know how much i care but everyone seemed to be blaming me over it.



































































you know i wanted to just stop you and confront. well, as long as i hang on there while more, im sure those feelings will fade. im getting a lot better cos it doesnt feel so much after seeing you into your eyes now anymore. hope everything will go find this friday, and for everything in my life from now on. no more upside downs.
Praise Him.

[ ]You are doing things much slower than usual.
[ ]You are bothered by things that usually don't bother you.
[ ]You have had periods of feeling low that last for at least several hours.
[x]You've had trouble concentrating.
[ ]Things that used to be interesting to you are no longer interesting.
Total So Far: 1

[ ]Your energy level has been low.
[x]Your future has seemed hopeless.
[x]You have been preoccupied with death, dying, or suicide.
[x]You feel like you've lost some confidence.
[x]You are easily irritated.
Total so Far: 5

[x]You are afraid that something bad is going to happen to you.
[x]You've been sleeping a lot more or less than usual.
[x]You have lost or gained five pounds.
[x]It is difficult for you to make decisions.
[x]You feel like no one likes you anymore.
Total so Far: 10

[x]You have aches or pains that can't be explained.
[ ]You have been avoiding your friends.
[x]You feel like you have nothing to live for.
[ ]Nothing seems important to you.
[ ]It takes a lot of effort to do the most simple of tasks.
Total so Far: 12

[x]You feel sad or blue.
[x]You feel like a failure.
[x]You feel more dead than alive.
[x]You feel trapped in your life.
[ ]You feel depressed, even if something good happens.
Total so Far: 16

Times your total by 4.
"I am 64% Depressed"

cheer me up babes out there?

great, lala.
when you're looking like that - westlife


finally the weather's getting better, a little warmer. i decided to blog cos i was bored and didnt feel like doing anything else.

life went on despite all the things that happened to me. i've learnt to move on and the real me inside is recovering so be patient and give it some time. you know, sometimes i really wonder, what am i doing here? what's going on? well, im still in search of the answer and...
i think i found one.

okay, grateful.
get another boyfriend - backstreet boys


thanks munyee. really, if not for you, i dont know what i would do then. ahmad, and where were you? i really needed to talk okay! haha, its okay, know you're busy... you know, when i hung up the call, i started crying real badly already. ALL YOUR FAULT.


yupp, cos i had a bad day. school was short, skipped recess for my chem practical and had 4periods of math. went for rock band awhile then proceed to training. PT can drive me nuts even though we spent most of the times playing soccer. quite fun, managed to vent my anger a bit after gossipping with davin and syahreena.


our eyes met today. i wanna know, what exactly were you thinking when i looked into those eyes? i know my eyes told you "lost faith in you totally". you seemed to be afraid to face me now. why did things turn out this way? well, face the music if you've chosen this path. how bout... tell me you didnt do it? tell me. i really wanna hear it from your mouth. those words, would mean everything to me. more than anything i want. its okay. i know you never will but you know, i chose to believe still, you're not that sorta guy.
P.S. im so over you.

chilling, DISAPPOINTED.
never had a dream come true - s club 7


as you can see, i capitalised the word that's describing how im feeling now. well, i was just trying to show how much it really feels like in me now. now another disappointment from someone i choose to trust. no, you let me down. ouch, it hurts again. cant you take pity on it and stop smashing it onto the floor like nobody's business? do you even know how it feels like? no you dont. wake up, please just wake up. i thought you're the person i knew. or i dont even know you from the start. i cant believe it. *still in the process of recovering from shock.* you know, one moment i hope you really end up in boys' home or something but then next second, i pray hard that you're given another chance.

only bettina knows i've said a little prayer for you.




i hope You have heard my prayers so please please watch over him, please.

okay, gaga
when there was me and you - vanessa anne hudgens


i dont actually know how im feeling now so i choose to use gaga. well, i wouldnt really describe it exactly as a good day cos im really feeling foul now... hmm, the performance was awesome, overall a success i would say... and then nothing much la... im just not in the mood to blog, so sorry.


that's all bout it folks!

cool, flu-ing.
my love - westlife


does that photo look familiar? (: well, you've probably seen it up on the walls of block G or something. that was exactly one year ago...


hustle bustle. didnt get to talk to principal today. rock band got cancelled. lightened a little of my work loads but you know what? i just realised i havent eaten the whole day cos i was simply too busy! or perhaps, i did, during recess. cos i got dragged by poornima even though im damn depressed. let's see how many subjects i have failed this week for all the tests.
english, maths, physics, chinese.
bad enough? i guess so.

went to pick up the VIP straight after checking out where the rest are rehearsing the performance. i think i was late. cos i saw mr tan and mdm neo waiting for me outside the meeting room! haha, omg, serious man. then went in, ms loga, mdm rosenah, mr koh, principal, vps, the VIPs, waseemah and karthik were sitting there. cool right? it was suppose to be something heart warming but instead, it turned out to be rather cold and dead. i forced myself to speak a few words, so much more better than karthik and waseemah who kept looking at me, as if i was to say something cos im their senior. overall, i learnt quite a lot since this is a once in lifetime chance? hmm, for now i guess.

rushed back for rehearsal. realised i was doing nothing and didnt get to do my costume thanks to POORNIMAAAAAAA. so went back to NE dialogue session. catch a little of the ending and then continued on for the student leader's meeting. honestly, i crap my way through just to please mr tan! i had to lie things like i did research blahh. so amazingly, he believed! after that, he informed me the worst thing i ever imagined: lead the school with the racial harmony day's pledge. DEAD, SUICIDE. okay, accept it, guoyi, maybe you can overcome your stage fright then.

racial harmony day tomorrow! (: so look forward to seeing me in my kimono yeah? :D
aww, my flu's getting a little worse due to the lousy weather. sobb


this morning finally got to catch a sight of him. i really heaved a sigh of relief. i dont know why but i felt a lot better. like as if i have just put down a heavy burden sorta thing but i dont get it. what has he got to do with my life anymore?

cold, dazed.
more than words - westlife


met some of the NE camp friends just now so decided to post that pic. hmm, just received it from ryzal. didnt feel like blogging but i think im just going to do it.

had emath test today on circles. unexpectly, it sucked. i wonder how im gonna face my parents when the results are out man... on the other hand, mr. chua sorta talked to me bout my chinese just now after school in front of ms peh. ): he was like, guoyi arh, buck up la, if you dont help yourself, nobody's gonna do it for you, im sure you didnt study for the test ytd right... blah blah, and go on and on. got nagged, yeah, listened, reflected a bit and felt bad. shall do something bout it soon! SOON.

anyway... got so pissed with the making of class T thing man. lol. whateva, im gonna leave everything to them cos i dont wanna get involved in so much thing already. no point since i dont get back what i deserve!! starting to cut down all the activities and by august, i should be free already I THINK. time for studying by then!!

didnt go training again.
went to RI for the US ambassador's talk with lilin, luke, mr tan and ms peh since hairil was sick at home... its my second time cos the first one was an ambassador from japan. it was more engaging this time round... cos since that lady can speak much better and fluent english... and especially im afraid i cant afford to fall asleep with teachers next to me... made a new friend and he's really nice and good. very interesting, entertaining and friendly. im glad and hope to see him around even though its possible. haha, looking forward to the next time there! yeah, and watched a bit of a softball match there. its RI vs. MANFORT. cool right? they were really AWESOME. i saw a few home runs!! lastly... MR TAN JUST INFORMED ME THAT I MIGHT NEED TO GO TALK TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL BOUT THIS AMBASSADORS SERIES CRAP AT RI. omg, CRAP. oh, and i need to like entertain some VIP tomorrow for the NE dialogue. okay, my schedule is always tight on thurs. look:
1. school.
2. extra HCL lessons.
3. rock band practise.
4. NE dialogue.
5. RHD rehearsal.
6. talk to mdm neo bout racial harmony's day costume.
7. buy materials and get costumes done for performance on friday.
8. start saving money and return it to those whom i owe.
so now you know how busy ms. bee here can get? yawns.


i smell food, got to go, that's all folks! (:

weird, sweaty.
that's when i love you - aslyn


i like this song, yeah, its good, really good.

its a bad day today. really bad. i just reached home. after dinnering with my little bro and ryzal. okay, maybe not exactly dinnering, its more like, WATCHING THEM DINNER. haha, i just had a milo dinosaur as usual and got full. chatted awhile and left.

this morning had obs post survey. its like poof, within a blink of an eye, 3 months gone. quick and fast yeah? scary. so decided to post that photo and its reminded me of stuff like how i got to know faazul and stuff like that... its like, he was the 2nd person who wished me happy bday? haha, and i rmb quite clearly it was bryan who introduced us together. well, thanks to him, i really made a great friend! (:

had chinese test on the first period. stress. okay, im so going to fail. yes i will. i didnt study those 3 chapters neither did i study anything else. so procrastinator. so yupp, so gonna die. lala. its okay, i will die with ian then. then had p.e. quite fun playing chapteh with adi. AND MS THAM GAVE ME A CHANCE TO PASS MY INCLINE PULL UP!! omg, i so love her la. thanks man. i like never pass that thing ever since sec 1? lol. then after recess, everything was damnn lame. screamed like mad. also took the physics test too. so going to fail again so its okay, FACE THE FACT and FACE THE MUSIC.

went to rehearsal and then i screamed again cos i was like the director or something. kinda pissed off cos things dont seem to go right for me. so yeahh, treated the models drinks in the end and i wasted money again. RAWR. so not looking forward to friday performance la. okay, i just realised i havent eat a full meal the whole day.(being random again, pardon me)


they asked why i was so mad today. maybe i was la, a little, okay, maybe a lot but ya, i simply dont know where he went to. i guess im starting to let go even though its painful cos i got no other choice. i had to, i know i had to.
hey look guoyi, there's so many more best friends out there and no doubt they caree bout you, so perhaps you should study hard and not let down all those ppl around you. you cant disappoint them cos they really expect a lot from you k?
yeahh, in other words, GET OVER IT.

hot, sick.
25 minutes - michael learns to rock MLTR


yeahh, im having a bad headache. if this goes on, im probably gonna skip school tomorrow. this morning, among one of mr jeff woo's 4 HUMANITIES LESSONS, he asked "think bout something that made you want to go to school". and i was like, err, no poornima, no interesting lessons, no nothing but only o level listening that I HAD TO ATTEND cos i got no choice and it sucked anyway. okay, i was just being random. i wanted to say how annoying school can get. nothing special happened today except that i enjoyed a little of isabel's company in class crapping around with justin, yang yang, tian jie, jasin and guru. so ya, i made a new friend today! ((: jasin, who likes qi hui. oops, did i just mention that? :D

boarded the same bus as harry back to clementi today. didnt talk at all. a little disappointed and awkward but could figure he was probably not in the mood cos so am i. yupp, emo my way back and then got to go rest now. and oh, i skipped training, UPSET.


its been another week, its like, time flies like nobody's business. two weeks back i was a happy kid and then one week ago, i wasnt. well, cest la vie. this is life so face the fact guoyi.(aww, i got so tired of reminding myself of that.)
hmm, you know, just wanted to say, it may have been ONLY a week since but the time i spent on thinking of you hasnt been any lesser. i dont know why but yes, its there.
i havent seen you aound for a couple of days. not seeing you hanging out with your friends made me feel uneasy, not watching you do your duties made me feel uncomfortable, not being able to secretly spot you makes me wonder and miss you hell lot. and worst of all, knowing that you are not there makes me go crazy and hurt.
no, it makes me wanna cry.
so where are you baby, where did you go? am i just not observant enough or did you avoid me intentionally? no doubt its the latter one.


POORNIMA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, GIMME A CALLLLLL, i miss you man.
promise you wont die k? pretty pretty pls?
didnt chlorine water help? ):

average, sleepy, tired & upset.
beacuse of you - kelly clarkson


just came home and quickly uploaded that so take a peep at the picture up there. im just too lazy to post anymore of them but i think one is enough for you guys to drool and look forward to this year's racial harmony? (:

1. went breakfast-ing with little godbro this morning. HE MADE ME WAKE UP AT 645 JUST TO WAKE HIM UP. omg. its okay, sacrifice of a sis! ((:

2. ms huang can see that im okay already and i hope i really am. cos i manage to act out a good scene just now! :D hmm, this morning's rehearsal was quite "chop-chop" cos many of the needa go off for some reasons or another. for poornima and i, we too, needa rush off to go for a swim with yanlin, shaun and doyle at je where the many of the pools are under construction!! but still... it was damn fun and cool, hahaha.

2. habib and ahmad stayed in kfc to study and the rest of us had loads of fun pushing each other off the floats and scaring yanlin off!! oh ya, WE GIRLS NEVER FORGET TO COMPARE OUR FIGURES TOO. hahaha. so guess who won in the end? *winks* thry kept ocmplaining that i look like some hollywood woman or something but i simply like maroon!

3. i still scolded loadsa FUCK today thanks to doyle. DAMNN.

4. i learnt something new today. NH4+H20+Cl2=cure for conjuvitis or something like that, which means EYE INFECTION xD cos we had it experimented on POORNIMAAAAAAAA

5. then left with the indian couple. felt damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn extra. wanted to be alone. but they just wont let me be! rawrr.

6. saw an old friend at interchange. so wanted to go out with him cos he asked me why i looked so moody and told me to accompany him. and i replied where to? he said, "down town to smoke." then i stared hard at him and smiled. he did the same thing too and we both laughed it off.

7. hey poornima and habib, i know you guys care and i wanna say thanks for that but im sorry too, i still did it in the end, yes i did. i cant control myself, cos you guys dont know how it feels like, no you guys dont. i think if it makes me feel better that way, why not let me be? at least i dont do even more dumb things like slashing myself?

good day, sick. (beautiful day with a mood that doesnt match at all.)
wanna be with you - paula deanda


got so addicted with this baseball game and is so engrossed in it now so shall make this post short and sweet. (:

1. the photo you see up there is what i have done during chemistry lab lesson today with ahtherai, huiling and munyee, cool right? <33 TITRATION! ((:

2. was quite sick today in class thanks to ian for passing me his disease. eek.

3. finally put up the banner for RHD, go check it out, quite obvious!

4. was late for SL meeting and got nagged by tan say pin and furthermore, as the head of the motivation team, my group was said to be the lousiest in coming up with ideas. IM SOOOOO hurt. blahh

5. passed harry his bday prezzie. blushed! lol, he said it was cute and i hope it was true. got teased by his friends. hehe. he told me i was the first to give him a gift! lol

6. SAW JIASHENG!

7. went makan with raymond and poornima at mac.

8. officially announce that RAYMOND MA IS MY LITTLE BRO! (: hey, he's my first little bro k, my other elder bro is yogi bear. lala.

9. went home slept till 9pm.

10. read book that ahmad lent me, PANIC - JEFF ABBOTT, ITS GOOD, really good. (: (so much of an addiction)

11. needa give wake up call to Mr. Ma tomorrow morning at 645! omg, breakfast-ing then go school for rehearsal. shall drop by JE pool tmr with poornima to go relax abit.

12. I WANT MY BIKINI!!

13. where should i go after that? bryan asked me for a movie. so did edmund. well, i'll think bout it.

14. ask for forgiveness. i swore too much lately and my mouth is just filled with vulgarities. needa work on that. i'll try and stop tmr k? that's a goal, set.

15. listening to emo song, missing rawrr rawrr. heard he patched with his ex? good for him, too bad for me. cheated, AGAIN. sobb ):

scorching, emo.
here without you - 3 doors down


yeahh, today was a long day, just like any other thursdays, i rushed around the school for classes like a mad cow. i practically felt dizzy the whole day today and was dozing off almost in every period. my brain must be complaining that im insufficient of oxygen again and lacks of sleep. lol. stayed back a while for HMT and its basically just training up for listening so ya, went off to music room after that to learn guitar, then it was quite fun but yet boring at the same time.

hmm, school has become so much like a regular routine for me. ohh, except something more interesting bout all these stuffs: i spend 5mins of my life everyday at 930 & 1130 respectively looking out of the class window to spot for this pigeon sun tanning at the opposite block. okay, i know that's lame but yeahh, i just tend to get distracted by it. haha, cos it just seems to do it everyday.
cool right? try spotting it too! :D

i thought we were supposed to go swimming but then they ended up wanting to go changi so i was like anything lor. uh, later on, changed their mind, decided on bowling instead since ahmad came back too. ahh, crap, whateva. i think i really needa go home early tmr then. still got TTC walk meeting tmr!! zz...


yeahh, i never wanted someone so much. well, missing someone isnt something you can enjoy at all. ouch. i just gotta get over it.

warm, down.
accidentally in love - counting crows


yeahh, i thought it was really accidentally in love. haha, what a joke. well, today i skipped training with bettina to go for rehearsal and had a hard time teaching raymond CAT WALKING. hahah. and also, my chinese o level oral sucked so let's not talk bout it. after school, went straight to meet ahmad for pizza, and YUM YUM.

well, so everything's coming to and end, or has it already came to an end? haha, i see the truth surfacing at least. you kept me in the dark but i got my good friends to help me find out too. hmm, all and all, i still didnt regret what i've done so its okay. i dont wanna force you, all the best then :D





WHAT A FAKE FRONT.

hey... rmb this?


because you loved me - celine dion

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

dead, cheated.
somewhere over the rainbow - faith hill


yeah, everything simply changed overnight. i was enjoying myself the whole week smiling away and i rmb not a single sec i was being sad. not till this morning. well, enough of tears for now, i just cant believe it. you woke me up from this sweet dream and put me into a nightmare. you make me wonder if you're lying or am i just not good enough for you.i cant find reasons or explanations for this and im desperate for you to enlighten me. even though the truth hurts most of the times, i still wanna know it, cos at least i feel better that way. whateva you say, would you please not gimme excuses cos i really hate them. rawrr, forget it, everything started so harshly and its only right for them to end it the same way. i thought it would last, i really thought i was right but perhaps i was thinking too much.


i've put down the past for you, but have you put it down for me too?
did i lose to you, or have i lost to myself?





how bout this now...


fool again - westlife

Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret
That you've been hiding
Who's gonna take my place
I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me
Baby, you should've called me
When you were lonely
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
Too many chances
To show you how much I care
I should've seen...
About the pain and the tears
If I could, I would
Turn back the time
I should've seen...

oh damn. oops. i didnt mean to swear. but accidentally missing certain ppl made me do it. okay, i know this sucks but let me rephrase it.
i so happen to get reminded of my ex and i feel like cursing him.


oh anyway, didnt have training today and i felt weird. lol, what was that suppose to mean for guoyi? haha. and ya, i saw kian ann just now! at the bukit timah CC. hmm, he's really good. he's in the chinese martial arts. admire him man. you know, if he's older, i would have gone for him! LOL :D shhhh


rawr rawr, gastric's looking for me again. boo HOO

windy, loved.
wait for you - elliott yamin


this will be a quick one since i needa rush of for my jap classs soon. (:

today's a monday again and i was complaining away to yuting how i cant believe time flies this fast. and then it was really cold this morning. haha, im damn random now.

hmm, had four period of jeffrey woo's geo today and so the day was soon over with all the chit chatting in class with poornima. then after school was about to leave school with bettina and lilin when afina called and asked us to join them with the FUN concert. so i was like, err, anything lorr, and we ended up spending more than like 2hrs practicing for "all or nothing: o-town" IN THE FREAKING LIBRARY cos the performance is next week. lol, went down foyer to meet the rest where everyone screamed my name. okay, i know what had happened, IDIOT YANLIN WENT TO ANNOUNCE IT. hahaha. went clementi, had plenty of fun and laughter but... IKHWAN BULLIED ME AGAIN, lol, tickling me all the way, so EVILL
AND NOW EVERYONE KNOWS BOUT IT. DAMNN. ;D


im afraid, im scared. i want you to promise but you cant. so all i want you to know is that i choose to believe in you. stay determined and you'll be able to do it.

fine, happy.
home - chris daughtry


i feel good, ta da ta da ta da da. lol, today's a good day, i dont know, i simply feel like im the luckiest girl but i hope nobody wakes me up from this sweet dream. (:

tuition sucked as usual today. rawrr. supposed to study with ahmad but from what he claimed "one should not study more than two hours at one go", we ended at the pool centre. he taught me a few tricks and then we went to makan at westmall while waiting for ikhwan. i didnt know why i wanted to meet him too, perhaps to give ahmad a surprise? haha, shopped for wendy's prezzie then headed back to je to fetch little sis and ikhwan went to meet his sis too. ahmad and i also parted after buying bubble tea and back home here i am.

school's tomorrow, kinda lazy cos i basically needa stay back everyday for stuff blahh, wonders if mom believes me. hmm, counting down to my mother tongue o level oral = 3days. GOOD LUCK MAN GUOYI.

you know what? im not going to let anyone take away anything from me now cos i really enjoy this life. i must be selfish, cos i have learnt my lesson. :D

i simply love this skin. :D