stormy, LIGHTNINGS! still a that little confused.
girlfriend - avril lavigne

ya, same old dreams again. is it cos i see you around everyday in school? or is it cos i miss you? maybe its cos you occupy a large area of my brain up there inside my head? i dont know, but it just feels weird. i dont even talk to you or give you a longer look, a more than one second look. ok maybe i do. sometimes i realise i'll be staring at you during SS lesson out of nowhere. wishing that everytime you turn around you'll meet my eye but nar, never once you turned this direction. am i really that unworthy of you? have you really totally forgotten the past? is it all over just like that? in my dreams, i always dream of old dreams, all those sweet little ones, and then dreaming that we'll be friends all over again, classmates and stuff like that but is it possible in reality? is it possible to make my dreams come true? i dont dare to try, im too tired to. i cant be bothered cos its just my one last year here and i know, it will really really be over soon. i just gotta be patient.

just imagine how confused i am. even after a nap. i thought i would feel better but this time its still as sucky as ever. there's so many things hanging on my mind, so messy, so 'full of colours'. now i know, when you're unsure bout your own feelings towards others, never do stupid things like confessing. despite knowing the fact that the opposite will usually reject and avoid you cos i was given this kinda treatments many times before, i must thank raymond for reminding me again. he said he wouldnt do it if it was him. well, i guess its true, if i were in that position, i doubt so too. i really learnt not to risk the friendship for the tiniest thing like confession of your love. i hate to admit but i would say usually the case of the other party feeling the same for you would be 0.01%. how sad can that get? ): fine, like what raymond has say, let guys confess first and just see how things go? maybe we should all learn to be generous. face it openly. dont be silly and starting staying away from each other. i think its stupid. haha, IS NOT ME ANYWAY, so who cares. im satisfied with life. i shant creat more problems for myself.






a secret forever kept unsaid. hehe, maybe at least two people know. :D