As each day creeps nearer to my birthday, there's a strong mix of emotions.
A part of me is excited to embrace a new year and thankful unto God for His faithfulness in my life.
Yet the other side of me is deeply saddened by how broken my family is. I cant help it. Each time I look at them, my heart pains. Yes that's the truth, I am so rejected by them. While I have countless friends celebrating me, my family doesn't care about it. Do they even remember? I wonder. What I truly desire is the company of my family, as simple as a meal together. Even a text might make a difference.
Earlier last week, people started asking me what I would like for my 22nd. I thought for a while, and told everyone who asked that I wanted a trip to the zoo. Perhaps little did they know that I really want to spend a day with my family at the zoo. Its not that I didn't try. I asked my mom about it. And I got ignored. I decided to be sad for 5 minutes and moved on. If it was me previously, I would probably end up crying from being so hurt. Yes, I missed the family time. I missed how when I was a few years old, we would go to the zoo for outing. And this dream, it seems so far away. :'(
Its OK. I have plenty of friends who want to take me to the zoo and I shall be counting my blessings. As for my family... Lord, I will hang on my prayers. They will be saved. Yes they will. Its a declaration in the spiritual realm that my household belongs to Jesus Christ.
I notice that every year I will be exceptionally emotional on my birthday. This year, I need to be particularly careful. I will not allow the enemy to steal away the joy my God has set for me.
2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
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