Forever & Always.

my version of cinderella didnt really have a happily ever after ending. *snap* i guess she's back to reality, facing the fact that life goes on, & everything ends on the very day. however, this just made her look forward to the next time she turns into a little princess. :D

i only have a word to describe sweet 17: marvellous.
(maybe i should describe it as: FATTENING. hahaha, FYI: my breakfast, lunch and dinner were all CHOCOLATE CAKE. =X)

sometimes i do wonder, if i'm worth all my friends celebrating for me and buying me gifts for my bday. remember how i grumbled bout how much i thought im so unimportant? thanks to ppl like, munyee, daryl, dave, weisheng & wilson, now i know i gotta look at the other side of things. i must have weighed a little in their hearts to get them to take their time out and meet me. trust me please, those presents, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH(:

before i forget, i think i must say i also have great friends in JJ. despite hating my sch, AGAIN, these girls really made me wanna stay, just for their stake. it all came so unexpectedly because we barely knew each other, just a couple of months? man, now i know what ppl meant, when they say: that's what friends are for.

third, just this short paragraph for my 7yrs of bestie. i know she wont be reading this, but its ok. i wanna let you all know how big a difference she has made to my life. this little girl called wendy, even after knowing her for so long, is her first year spending my bday with me! haha, cos to us, it always didnt really matter if we were growing older. we see each other almost every other day but we never get tired of each other. i spent the night of my bday with this fella. there, she really put an extra touch to it.

last year's bday was a special one, but i guess, this year's gotta be an even more unique one. i've sweetie pies like suriani, sebastian, syafiq and even syah texting me! then jiaxin and ms chng also wished me, how amazing can that get... then there was yanlin and my brother calling me all the way back from amsterdam. lastly, this person i must mention! JOY. hahah, she really brought me joy. i had so much fun with just hanging out with her. (:

hey everyone, whoever out there who's sent me your wishes, blessings and gave me presents! thank you so so much. besides all the thank yous, i dont know what else to say. i'm really very very touched. in case you dont know, you're guarantee that your sms has made me smile. thanks for being there and to let me know you care. i've no idea what my life would be without ppl like you so thank you. i promise i'll be there, if you need me too. today, i choose to believe that my friends, are my strength.

Did I say something way too honest
That made you run and hide like a scared little boy
I looked into your eyes;
thought I knew you for a minute
Now I’m not so sure.
So here’s to everything
Coming down to nothing
Here’s to silence that cuts me to the core.
Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute
But I don’t anymore.

You Belong With Me.

yaye. now my blog's more colourful with photos.

firstly, let me just tell everyone how thankful i am to have these 3 friends, namly Alex CHEE, Xavier and Kelvin! whooo. they rock man. the first to give me my bday present, the guys who actually rmb even though we barely hang out! omg, just imagine how touched i was. thank God for letting me meet and know them over the SL camp last year! :D

then, today i received the badge for being the volunteer at the YOG LC! see that? NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE IT OK. im just sooo excited to be an intern there. wheee. cant wait cant wait. those ppl are niceee (:

do you know that whenever i get the feeling you'll be at somewhere,
i'll actually go over,
just hoping to see you?

I'm the one who makes you laugh
when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?

2.

that's bout somethings that happened in the past. :D

1

WHOO i just uploaded all my photos from my phone, LIKE FINALLY. using that lousy USB. =X the photos in this post are bout school/camp

Step Up.

i made a new friend today & his name is Ray. i dont know why i'm talking bout him because for all i know, he might just be another aquaintance, yet another stranger if we meet again a few decades later. hahaha, well, i just realised how things can change overtime and then again, maybe tomorrow or the day after, Ray becomes my best friend. who knows? i believe that God's got everything planned out for me and we somehow must be fated to know each other.

wondering why i'm saying all those rubbish? haha. that's cos i met someone today. i didnt really meet him in the sense, talk to him, hung out or anything like that. i just happen to see him while on Mr Tan's car on the way to lunch. he didnt see me at all, which i guess, is probably a good thing. honestly, i'm not sure how i should be feeling. i'd the rush to just jump off the car and go up just to say hi. well, luckily i didnt, cos it definitely would have been the most retarded thing that anyone can do. i should be glad i caught a glimpse of him, knowing that he's doing fine. however, at the very same time, i couldnt show any expression because Zoey was around too.

in a split second, there, he's gone. if he saw me, what would have happened?

my vision bout what happened in the past has gradually become clearer. friends told me a million things about him. so amazing. those things he did behind my back, the good, the bad and even stuff he's done for me. its all funny when i think back. did i actually become famous, or is it instead, infamous because of him? whateva it is, one thing i know, i havent regretted a single moment all the while. i admit, i was angry, i was mad at him. but ironically, i'm sorry to say that my anger for me turned a daily routine of missing him. a day just wont go by without me waking up with him on my mind and the last thing i got to be doing every night for the past months is thinking bout him. Zoey may be right, he's too much. well, i would say, there's always two sides to something. for now, there's really nothing i can do. so, let's wait for God's call. (:

& when I break up it's only to make up

Feel the rhythm of the beat, that's my heart
Cupid shot me with the arrow from the start
And you know that it's your love that's got me trapped
Everytime I try to leave you bring me back
So much water at times I cried a river
You dried my eyes and brought me back to laughter
And when I lay next to you I wanna wake up
And when I break up it's only to make up

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore.

sick. flu. ok i dont know why im blogging but i thought i deserve a break since i think i've been studying alot. i shall go catch my TV show after im done here.

recently, i've been troubled again. wondering if i should change my route, and pursue poly life instead. of cos, also wondering if i shall just get the hell outta soccer.

yaye, shall not think too much. tomorrow's sports day! its been a short week man. school really sucked. sigh. its ok. i'll be going to cine to catch my 'coming soon' with the girls. CANT WAIT :D muahahaha

call me

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why

Here I Am.

today's that retarded e learning day. YAYE. hahah. i so cant access to the chem videos i'm supposed to watch. how sad. oh wells, cant be bothered. so why am i so free to blog now? that's cos its my 'break'. LOL

anyway, i'm supposed to return to school for training later. oh my oh my. life's so sad. HA. there's two test tomorrow. i feel like staying home to catch all the chem i've missed out! :(

yesterday was out with hot shieboon. WHOO. it was damn fun to have him around. man, i missed those days... now, its all studying. 2 years aint long at all. its all bout studying. argh. believe it or not, i really fear whether i make it to the local varsity.

i wish i could get THAT sports bag. its $79.90 after sales i suppose. omg. that's ex ok. but its niceeeeeee. and it has this compartment for your shoes la. its huge and its brown. i wish i wish i wish my mom would let me buy it be it letting me myself pay for it. i bet i'll be a happy girl if i've that(not that i'm not happy now). i just SO want it. but then again, its a WANT, not a NEED. =[

before i go, i wanna tell you that:
soon im gonna be 6205 days old. HAHA, that sounds old. oh wells. i'm not asking for anyone to buy anything for me. i'm just complaining. maybe i deserve something for myself too
and soon we'll know each other for 730 daysm oh that's 2/17 of my life. i'm so lame. lalala

& i can only be your friend.

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

Incomplete.

oh i skipped school today! ha. i'm a bad kid, so please do not learn from me. :D ok, i admit i was really tired since i studied past midnight last night after buying that retarded $66 chem guide book. (i must be nuts to actually pay for it) *heartachs* furthermore, like i said, school's sucha drag and i dont understand any lectures so what's the point? self-studying's probably an easier way out for me. there's no school again tomorrow and i cant wait! whoo

suddenly my decision swayed. im not very sure if i should join soccer anymore. sigh. partly because of my knee, and also because of the discouraging pathetic small number of people we have there. how to play like that?

this week's last week of term 1. YAY. but that also means all the intensive work will be coming up after this break. omg. help. ok, for now, let's not think bout it. i shall watch COMING SOON with my girlfriends on friday, the 13th. lalala.

yesterday, i realised that someone actually care.
he really does, & much more than you do.
however, that's not the point.
i want YOU to be the one who really care about me.

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

My Life Would Suck Without You.

finally, its friday. i wasted my whole day in school today! so shouldnt have gone and now, my knee injury is back. its so bad i cant climb the stairs in my house, neither can i straighten it without feeling the pain. yes its back, that stupid injury. made me all so fed up. ya great, for all i know, my mom's not gonna let me join soccer. HA.

you know, there's this rude tai tai in class whom i really dislike. however, its not just me, but instead its the majority. she's so irritating i wish she would just get out of my face or leave the class. ok, i'm so gonna learn tolerance, because there's another one year and nine months to go. sigh!

enough of my rants. here's something i wanna tell all of your:
i love my mom, & thank God for having her around.

for once, i look forward to my birthday.
cos i wanna if you still remember, if you even care.

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you

I Wanted You.

its 1.30am in the morning! whoo. i'm an owl, for once. just felt like blogging, so here i am! HOWEVER, i've no idea what to post about. lalala.

cos in my dreams, you'll be there.

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
'Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line

Come Back To Me.

yesterday's soccer was fun. i mean, soccer with the guys. not forgetting yanlin & putri! and and and there's vidya too! whooo, amazing. it was hanging out till 8pm and playing at clementi. the guys were simply mad. ha. oh, because of the funny weather, there was this huge awesome double rainbow across the sky at evening ok..

today's boring. just school. guess what, i've decided to skip that stupid SC interview! ha, cos its so retarded that they put me at the 6.45pm slot. even though i went home around that time, i dont wanna waste my time answering some weird questions ok! shall volunteer with the girls for the next camp :D

GuoYi really needs to learn better time management. school's just started and i'm dying already! hahah, i think i'm so known for putting stress on myself. but oh wells, to be serious, i work better with stress. ((: however, that's not the point. i want to tell you that, i wanted to join SC, soccer, Direct University Admission a.k.a DUA and kayaking. plus my school has all sort of things like this coming up sports meet. i'll still have to juggle with my YOG stuff... one more thing. i'm supposed to plan for this class gathering. you know what's the best thing bout it? ITS FOR MY CURRENT JC CLASS!! goodness.
all my involvements.. so me!
someone call the SOS hotline for me please

looks like you've given up. looks like i should too.

I wish that I could photoshop on
Our bad memories
Because the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks
Won't leave me alone

I Belong To Me.

thinking of you day and night, you even appear in my dreams.
sorry i still cant let down my pride and face you.

b, if you're reading this right now, tag me and tell me how you're doing.
i'll be waiting.

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby
It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you
It's not that I don't wanna have you in my life baby
It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby
Before I open up my heart to you

What's Left Of Me.

OK, where should i start? my life's been so happening, like it always is, HA!

alright, soccer first, since i just came back from trainning. MAN, its awesome, like seriously. HOWEVER, unfortunately i injured my right fingers while trying to play as the goal keeper... oh well, overall, the seniors are friendly and i'd loads of fun!

then school. oh man. school sucks. ya ya. i said that countless of time i know. i just really really dislike it, yeah? studying studying, AHHHHHH, stress...

today i missed you again.

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

A Little Too Not Over You.

ok, i didnt wanna update because i cant find my USB and i cant upload photos so i'm very sad. BUT i've decided i should just post something since i'm quite bored and to let everyone know how i'm doing!

anyway, camp's nuts. err. how bout 3 words to describe it. NOT 'I LOVE YOU'. instead, 'WASTE OF WATER'. HAHA, lalala. ok, something cool bout it is the ballroom dancing that i've learnt. :D

second, i'm so in love with soccer now! you'll find out why...

third, school's been really stressful. classes and everything are so sleep-proned. well, at least i've a nice rational civics tutor and really nice and sweet classmates. (MAYBE SOME EXCEPTIONS)

lastly, ok, i'm so lack of sleep, so i should probably fly now. byee :D

Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.

When I'm With You.

dammit, just made my best friend angry. i only have 2 best friends, and so cant afford to lose them. that's it, must be my fault, SORRY. =((

dammit, my mood's swinging so easily these days. must have offended alot ppl over this =[[

dammit, sore throat's like on its way to visit me. nooooo, not to fall sick during orientation camp =X

dammit, camp's coming. like dont know what to expect. how?

dammit, no one's going out with me tomorrow. 've got no company. so sadddd. gonna emo, YAYE

dammit, i wonder whether you're missing me, when i'm missing you.

Yeah we've had our ups and down
But we've always worked them out

Fall Baby Fall.

fed up. i am, very extremely really fed up. you ask me is it because of lack of sleep, is it because of school, or is it because simply pms. well, i cant tell you exactly what it is. maybe when you add them all up, you get what i am, right now. wait, there's also the addition of someone saying some stupid things and being unappreciated by someone you really care about really upsets me. ALSO, the fact that my phone is dying just made things worse. sigh

guess it all began the day before yesterday when Joy asked me how things were doing at home. there it went, my long story, all the things that i kept there for pretty long. i've decided to dig them all out and tell it to her. Wendy's right, i shouldnt keep it bottled up. it gets really unhealthy after a while.

at this very moment, school's aside, and i put away all my friends for a while. i want to talk about my family, some thing i always avoided talking about, as much as i could. well, so far i only remember describing bout how happy i can be in this house and stuff like that. then again, some times some things just aint what it seems.

i hate my dad. at the very same time, i love him too. believe it or not, despite all the mean things he has done to my mom, to my siblings and to me, i loved him. however, i hate him because he never fails to disappoint me again and again. i respected him as my father but he simply took it for granted. how could he? someone tell me, should i thank him for how much pain he has brought to me all these years that caused me to be so independent, or do i despise him for being unable to even be a good father i've always wanted?

P.S. ouch, i didnt know it hurts to be filial.

And I don't want to be the one just to love then lose

Too Little Too Late.

birthday birthday birthday. i hope i dont meet another person who's birthday actually happen to fall on 7 feb again. pleaseeee, at least not my best friend.

OK, as you can see, its been a pretty busy day for me as usual... school, then met munyee. even though yanlin called and invited me to join them, i'd to see joy first, followed by meeting my zoey. ya, i am THAT occupied. i just came home not long ago and i need a little break time before i'm going back to studying. MUAHAHHA. yes, you werent reading wrongly. studying, is the word.

i thank God for sending Joy to talk to me. with her advice, i feel muchhhh better bout school. well, i guess next week would be a better week, and i'll try my best not to drag going school anymore. oh ya, gonna havve the orientation camp on thurs too! wonder how its gonna be like...

P.S. suddenly, i miss Y.P.G. =[[

'Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone

Be Without You.

no joke life's totally miserable for me in JJ. first is the principal, then the countless talks that make the school seemed so naggy and strict. followed which i was offered a totally lousy subject combination. OK, no offence, but its really not what i wanted and liked. you know what? the school only gives one day advance of notice for you to decide and who can i talk to? i really hope i dont live to regret it. lastly, class started already. im seriously gonna quit if i dont even get to the combi i've chosen.

the unhappy things aside, i've made two nice friends today that i went everywhere with! classes together, lunch and gossipping. oh, CCA open house too. guess its not quite surprising i sign up for women's soccer right? with dinah!! oh man, my OGLs are really nice and i enjoy having them around too. so gonna aspire to be like them manzx.

anyway, bio's killing me. i'm sooo going for tuition. anyone cares to join me? :D

We didn't build nothing overnight
Cuz a love like this takes some time

Sorry, Blame It On Me.

Last night's The President's Beat's dinner at Raffles Instituition was awesome. (:

Met up with one bunch of people at vivo yesterday. That includes Yoges, Andrew, Khabir, Yanlin, Ani, Andrea, Marlin, Darren, Doyle, Kenneth, Shiva&gf, Kader and ya, Viddy! That's a lot I think. We didnt do much besides sitting at Banquet. HA, I didnt catch a movie with them. Instead, went back to clementi with Vidya. (: we chatted a lot! A lot on going to JC and stuff. heard bout how stressful things can be. oh no

I just found out today who I'm seeing on Monday man. ahhh, whateva, I'm gonna go make new friends! Shall leave my house now and get going to get some stationery and prepare for my big day to come! HAHAHA

one last thing to rant: I HAVE TO WAKE UP BEFORE 6AM AFTER TOMORROW MAN. help!! =X

As life goes on
I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me

I Can't Hate You Anymore.

Just talked to my brother via webcam over msn! whooo, glad to know he's doing well, even though i can see the deep eye bags he has there. man, it 10pm here but 3pm there in holland. can you imagine how much he's gonna suffer? argh, I THINK, i'm missing him. (i even dreamt of him) :'(

Before i forget, HAPPY CNY. to me, its just cny, but this year, not just receiving much angbao money, having friends over just makes everything different! honestly, i not only 'gave away' my angbao money to my pri sch friends, especially EDMUND ONG, in mahjong and 'baluck', i also gave the remaining to my mom ok. now, i'm left with nothing! :(

talking bout those peeps, i really missed them man. we caught up and i figured out where they were all heading this year. there was one going private sch, two going SA and YJC. yvonne's alr doing her mass com in ngee ann poly alr thru DPA. oh poly and bryan, after graduated from his hwachong, is still considering. we played pool and bowling that day, which was totally awesome. i say edmund is really the pillar of us all, cos once he's back, we'll bond. and that's sweet. its always nice to see each around once in a while... its like a big family. cheers to nhps-ians =]]

i figured i had been so busy and i didnt return to either my pri sch, neither did i go back to my sec sch! aww. its ok. i'll find time. guess its partially because my mom's around at home and i aint going anywhere. (:

anyway, here's one happy news i want everyone to know. after the audition during the sports presentation camp last week, i got selected to be a host for YOG! whooo, i cant wait. and YAY, its gonna be part of CCA. cant believe itttttttt

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me,
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry.
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,
And I can't go on that way.
And so I'm letting of everything we were,
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.