yeah, these are my pretty photos with my group members yizhen, henglun, nicole, bettina, bryan, justin and jed. they are really fun! and that even though bettina didnt come back in a piece. lol. AND I AM FINALLY 15 i realised. went to make my IC just now (:

my blog finally revived. luckily i had patience. right, so, for one whole week, i havent blogged, for im away at palau ubin, being tortured like madd. its like, going for army? but it really kinda changed me somehow or rather. well, good thing yeah? thank God im back alive in a piece. right, shant talk much bout it except for a few main highlights whereby i heard some eerie karaoke songs of different languages in the middle of the night. i also heard many freaky stories which i still dont believe in too. and yeahh, did high elements and oh ya, the best of the best was to do triyaking for my first time with justin and poornima on a thunderstorm afternoon after carrying the super duper backpack. i promise im never gonna complain my school bag is heavy. yeah, that's all bout it. it quite a cool 15th birthday for i got to meet new friends though i didnt really like most of them from hillary. and now guess what? im having a slight fever after all that scratching in every part of my body. its not mosquitoes bites, most probably sand flies though. I DONT WANNA LEAVE SCARS!! omg, and let's pray hard its nort dengue. for i gotta drag myself to school on monday no matter what cos i got an interview! (: take note of the straits time next week then. hehe. oh ya, last night went to watch phantom of the opera too. and i fell asleep cos i was too tired. crap. but at least im still pretty. HAHA. (: now im back to rushing my work. CAN DO SOME SLEEPING. look, i only had three hours of sleep each night then






P.S. IM ALREADY MISSING THOSE COLD JOKES BY LUM. shouldnt have complained bout it when he's arnd. ):

just got a new phone: nokia5300! (: and got a new number too. hmm. actually i feeling rather mad, after got nagged at my mom. lala. its okay, cant wait till tmr, or maybe i would say next week. its vid and my bday, and trip to obs! ciao guys, loves.

just came home from a jog at the nature park. cool, had lotsa fresh up and saw many monkeys, woodpeckers and squirrel! (: omg, wazzup with me man, describing all these like as if im writting a compo. lol.

then also went to shop for all my track pants, undergarments and long sleeved shirt! omg, wasted like MUCH money. crap, i mean, its OBS fault who made us buy them and the nort using them after taht. lol. well, im still looking forward to it since its gonna be my 15th birthday and also for once im nort staying at home on this 27o3. hmm, i bet nobody's gonna gimme any present then but its fine, i think i will get to make many many friends! (:

thanks guys. for whoever and those who helped. i think ahmad, estella, habib and the Y.P. did a lor, did they? haha. oh ya, thank you guys who made an effort to wish me happy birthday too. love yaa

to COLOURS.
sorrie, so sorrie. it was all a lie. i wasnt the author of the story. okay, maybe i was. but but, it was edited. i think you got it wrong, you misunderstood. its nort what you think, i owe you an explanation. you needa understand that only some parts of the story is true. okay, maybe its for you to guess where is it that is right or wroong, just want you to know you are still that prince that i have no fate with.

got tuition later. zz. needa bath. and i still think its my fault and he lost his wallet. 0:
feeling really tired after crying so much bout what so much that had happened, needa get a good rest before starting to pack my stuff too. hope everything's over.

girl, girl, if you are reading this... if only you are.
i dont wanna argue with you, but cmon, i have all along been visiting your blog, yes i dare to say i did. but did you? have you any idea what's happening in my life this while all along? i admit i have neglected you, neglected this friendship i have been holding on for almost 4 years. no, i am still holding on tightly to it, i am definitely going to. you claimed that im always nort free. okay, maybe im nort, i did try to make time for you yeah? many times you called me, i know that but i didnt answer cos most of the times im too busy. still, i did return most of your calls and you turn out to be nort answering too. what do you want me to do then? i hope and wish you would appear online so we can catch up a little and update each other, but narr, like what yvonne have said, the timing is like shit. you gotta know that i care, im aware you are sick, and all that. so i shall apologise now, for abandoning you for the past month. so sorrie. TGFWY.

CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHATS WRONG WITH BLOGGER!?!? forget it. im nort in the mood. well, at least i was managed to be cheered up by watching mr. bean's holiday at gv vivo today with daryl, simin, dean, weisheng, haziq, weipeng, dave and zhiyangg. munyee left at the last minute, how disappointing i felt. but its okay, i knwo you've got your own reasons, munyee!

and anw, things have becoming badd. as complicatedd as solving the alpha beta Amath question. ): even ppl can see tear rolling bout in my eyes and see me putting on a fake smile. right, maybe im still controlling them. i dont wanna burst out into tears like how i used to do anymore. im a big now, you know?




i thought everything only started with a simple small problem.

right, you made me cry again. you are so capable of doing it. thanks man. okay, maybe it was me, all my fault. i started them. then blame it on me.


i thought i was a good day today. but no it didnt turn out good. after having vid said a sentence that hurt him real badly and got him thinking whether i mean it or nort... crap. what's going on?

well, sorta teared a little. cos finally talked things out with him. he called me, and i was kinda worked up and pissed. but hello, i think im the one being unreasonable so its all my fault and nort to blame him. should even praise and thank him for enduring my wildness and attitude. HA.


fainted outside canteen this morning. for the first time. for once. my legs just felt wobbly like what munyee said, JELLY-LIKED.. and then the next thing i knew, i felt on munyee and black out. but i think it was for a while, i came back and then i realised many ppl were in front of him. but seems like i was so blur i only managed to recognise estella, whom im grabbing my hands tightly, munyee, who's standing right in front mumbling and i turned my head and saw timothy standing there. he looked really worried. were you, tim? haha, guess so, who wouldnt? felt like suddenly many ppl cared. they simply asked if i were alright and all that. thanks ppl. i really needed help then.


i learnt something during CME today again!! even though i didnt those lessons, even though i dont really enjoy seeing mrs lena ang's face, even though i was almost dead when i returned class straight after p.e. i still listened and found it true. nothing really last. especially things like friendship. furthermore to say relationships. all so fragile. nothing really is everlasting, is there? that's whyy i hate to hear or say FOREVER. cos its like, if i say y.p.g. or m.s.g. forever, will they be? no, maybe they wont. okay, obviously they wont? ten years down the road, you think we will still be keeping in contact, calling each other everynight. cmon, i know once we stop seeing each other, we will simply live to use to it. we dont really rely on each other. face the fact. i have had enough experience for it. i cant stand losing ppl arnd me, things arnd me. wayy tooo important for me. im nort sure why i treat everything so serious too. its like, im always so humourous on the outside though, never stop smiling. and when i stopped, luke asked me, hey, im hope i dont get used to you nort smiling, yeah?


oh freak. i ran 16min today. im a slow poke. a pig. i crawl, i dont run. i didnt fail, NO i didnt, but i was how bout 5min slower than expected? ended having a C. hello, last year was an A.
2.4km, 2.4km, im gonna beat you.




I NEED TO DO SOME SOUL-SEARCHING.

yeahh, im feeling - again. like so gdsf645ehgdf654ryehgdasf. you guys understand? i know your dont. cos only i do. but its okay. im getting used to it. i will be fine after a while. just leave me alone. maybe im just tired i guess.

suddenly, i realised i cant handle these sorta stuff. but whyy did i think i could in the first place? i was just being selfish. now am i supposed to regret? whats the point? i see no use.


Lord, enlighten me.i seek for an answer that's the best for both of us.



if only, time is willing to stop for me to let me think what i should do next.

yeahh, yanlin, where're you? have you died again? im worried sick.

my hamster went missing, and im terribly upset bout it. ):

boo! i had a good day today i guess. its just another of my super early birthday celebration. well, this time round, a sure surprise, with another clique of mine though, so is it a good thing to have so many friends? haha. anw, THANK YOU ahmad, yanlin, vidya, poornima, KAVITHA and my dear. even though you guys LIED TO ME, i shall forgive you. HAHA. really, i have grown so old, its only my second time celebrating my birthday and okay, its furthermore both on my 15th birthday. well, at least i forgot bout my leg injury today and we guys simply just sat down to eat cake, chat and watched the nice movie: drumline! anw, okay, i changed my mind.

yes, i see it coming. nort again, no, i wont let history repeat itself, i promise i wont, at least nort like that. cmon, i think there must be something wrong with me, inside out, and upside down. im simply looking for trouble. everything was fun so why bother create more events in your life, guoyi? pls pls, this time round, it now or never.

THANK YOU GUYS. THANK GOD FOR YOU PPL. I LOVE YOURR!! weisheng, munyee, simin, bryan, annabel, unice, dave, weipeng, dean, shimin, henglun and linus. i apologise for nort smsing your, cos my bill exceeded and yaa, let me just express here. you know, its my first time for 15 years that i had such celebration. your gave me my first time! haha. even though there were accidents here and that, i enjoyed pretty much. im so touched for the cake and prezzies. well, no matter what, its the thoughts that count. no worries bout whether i will like it or nort. you ppl know me so well, i really appreciate it. ya and anyway, i think i should apologise for being emo on the beach just now. but im fine now! esp my toe. hehe.

ohh, raining puppies and kittens outside now. haha, what a funny way to phrase that. yupp, its cold and its just so comfortable lying in bed now. especially after a day of my secret and special "soccer training". haha. i am soooo tired. i got to meet this few guys that are really fun, cute, friendly, patient, loving and nice-talking! haha. they got funny names too. i mean one is called stanley that is perfectly fine. but the other one is called ibrahim a.k.a. BA-BA. i like it though. (: oh ya, and my soccer coach is called HARRY. haha. most ppl should know its my dog's name. yeahh. well, those ppl are really cool. thats what i think la. at least they bother teaching me the right ways to kick the ball and i think im improving!! hehe. so yeahh, poornima and i will be meeting them tmr morning again. its such fate that we can be friends be accident just playing soccer. worth it to know ppl like them. lala. so this thing is enough for me, to nort talk bout the upsetting things that happen to me today? im looking forward to tmr! ((: <33

for a while, i prayed that god could forgive me. im nort sure bout that. cos i have been lying recently. real badly. its like, i know im going against my parents will, yet i continue on still, but i do feel guilty bout it okay. now i dont know what to do. its like, they arent white lies in the first place. maybe i should just be a mommy's girl and stay and home and study real hard. that is, maybe. so sorrie, i cant do it. i became sooo rebellious. guoyi, get a grip, get a life.

long long dayy. so freaking tired and sleepy. thanks to yvonne last night! stayed over at my place and i sorta didnt sleep well or early and woke up at like 6am with only that 6hours of sleep. man. its okay, i will be having a good time in bed then. i gotta rmb that there's still listening paper tmr morning! irritating.

well, so this morning the match against pcss sucked. its like, 23 - 0? wow, amazed. lol. im more amazed when sebastian came down, dressing like a cleaning and acted BENG. HAHA. funny la him.

then after we came school, accompanied y.p.g. down to chevrons to bowl with kavi, azy, mudd, and andrewYO. (: and then had fun laughing when there's two mad but cute seniors there entertaining us. well, but anyway, i didnt want to bowl in the first place when i dont know how, but end up bowling quite well with a few strikes. muahaha. XX.

and after that, rushed down to jp to meet muihiang, manprit and siti. we went around walking but actually our main aim is to buy some small little gifts la. since tmr is a rather interesting dayy... hmm, haha, i ate so much today! crap. should but down a little. and the worse thing is i had sun burnt. omg.


was rather upset today too. ms tan said, "guoyi, im letting you play src in june, but look at yourself, you are rusting." maybe she didnt shout or whatsoever. maybe it was just a comment. but it means alot. RUST. RUST. can you imagine? im sinking down. the passion isnt there anymore.

not another vivid dream of him, this time, as usual, strange. ahh, cmon, i got used to it. haha. well, today's a badd dayy. but anyway, thanks mye chit and thanks poornima. haha. you guys made my day better. i felt sooooo evil today bullying mye chit. haha. out of 100 questions that he asked me, i think i simple shook my head 99 times out of them. and i think the last one is most probably a yes to going home. you know, i have never been soooo attitude or moody. but still, mye chit was being soooo patient okay. unlike someone else... dont even give a damn bout it!! hmm, poornima came and "counselled" me too. HAHA. funny, i thought i used to be the one "counselling" her anyway. well, time has changed.

for a while, i thought, maybe i should just leave sg, and my life might be better. not as stressful then. well but anyway, im looking forward to obs now. for only one reason? to see him.

omg, i didnt know i was so pretty until just now. HAH. okay, im mad. cos we went to take neo at tiong. then i realised i looked good. maybe im in a good mood then. but no, im nort really supposed to be feeling happy. sigh. nvm. as usual, im so mixed up. haha. oh well, still, i admit i enjoyed myself. LALA. for the second time we went out together. budden we didnt spend much time together talking. sighh. just laughing at stupid things. haha. okay. next week's gonna be busy even though it may be the holidays. no difference. i think i would be even more busy then. let's take a look at the schedule and wait for my mom to nag at me. oops, i forgot bout dinner again.

saturday - SRC @ kallang.

sunday - SRC @ kallang, tuition & subhas' bday.

monday - mock exam, nicole's bday, softball game at pcss & outing with muihiang and manprit.

tuesday - mock exam, lilin's bday & one month anniversary.

wednesday - out to shop for some rubbish on OBS or go for training on my 2.4km run!!

thursday - outing with the HO family. (:

friday - movie marathon with NTE in my house overnight? (might be taking mock exam if i missed the one on monday too.)

saturday - doctor's appointment & qihui's birthday.

sunday - tuition & last minute-rushing-homework-time!!

emo songs made me feel better i guess. maybe they arent that emo, its just that those lyrics sound rather meaningful and mean much to me... well, for a while, i thought im going to give up or something similar. like stop studying and all that. you know, its just so demoralising when everyone looks at your results and ask, "what? you failed your english? how can that be? please la, stop playing already la, study hard or you want die arh?" others even worse, scolding me stupid. sighh. who understands? now i know i probably wont get into NJ. cmon la, in singapore, as long as you fail your ENGLISH, that's it, your life's over. so what if this is term one? it still counts 15% hello? i know this is nort o levels yet. but im still angry. yes i am. im USELESS. what, so waht if i can do well maths? big deal? i rather sacrifice both A1s for my english then. HA. impossible. and ppl listen up, im sadd nort bcos my parents will nag, ground, disown, slap, scold or whack me. do i look like i give a damn, furthermore, they will only sign the paper and stare at me. thats all. its just that i set very high expectations for myself, and when i dont achieve it, its as great as asking me to slash myself. okay, that was a stupid example, but i wont do it. you know its damn disappointing when the teachers need to constantly remind you, and that i probably left a bad impression on mrs cheong? crapp. whats the use of giving me tuition and all that then la. NOT MY FAULT! forget it. im die die going to make myself get an A the next time round. AHMAD, YOU GOTTA TREAT ME TO ICE CREAM IF I CAN REALLY MAKE IT, AND THIS TIME ROUND, YOU BETTER IT AND DONT BREAK YOUR PROMISE OR I WILL BREAK YOUR NECK. (:

anw, today school was rather short since i left class early to go for the anglican high school's softball match. we won!! and their school is freaking big with indoor stadium and heritage centre. haha. well, afterall it is a boarding school and their school canteen sell such expensive food!! haha. i was whole time screaming and im feeling sick now. oh ya, and then they have got many cute guys i wanted to ask number for. maybe i should right? oops. haha. time for dinner now but im nort eating and i wonder whyy. blah blah, i need ice cream to fill me up and cool myself down. (:

im enjoying my 6th ice cream of the day. HA. yum yum. its coming backk, yupp. (: i just realised guoyi is someone who really likes to think back, likes old things, no matter whatever it can be. you know, maybe im stupid. i vent my anger on food. i could have donated all the food i puked to the children's home. i mean, before i eat them i should have donated. cos i simply ate 3bowls of noodles just now when i wasnt feeling just as good and then throw up after that. wonderful and well done? well, i will try nort to do it again though. life's still liddat, as sucky as ever. and it has gotta go on, and i needa learn to live with it. should i even bother changing my life, to a better one? but how do i know what's best for myself when i cant even make small little decisions. i think its time for me to reflect a little on what i have been doing, and that includes towards someone.

yanwah:
im so surprised you actually cared. but you know, i cared for you too. cos i was so worried when i heard from yvonne that you broke your back. i missed you hell lot. haha. oh well, time really flies, 3 years back, we were still enjoying ourselves in nhps there in 6d with ms tan and mdm wong. how bout even 5 yrs back rmb? when we were rather good friends and yupp, still, i couldnt forget certain things. i think you should know what la. haha. (: anw, im still looking forward to seeing you again. haha. love you loads. study hard!!

today studied alone at je library thanks to yanlin giving me empty words. haha. but its okay, i was really hardowrking and studied for hella 5hrs. and then i saw ppl there. i mean, ppl i know la. haha. and then wasted my time on maths and eng and didnt eat anything at all. just had steamboat with my family and it was a good time even though im used to not eating with my dad already... still, yupp, today was fine, everything done, no procrastinating and i feel rather freshened up cos im nort sick already!! budden one thing... his still up there in my head. i still cant control. damn. well, i needa some sleep. BEFORE I GO GET SOME ICE LOLLY TO SUCK AGAIN. I GOT HOOKED ONTO THEM NOW. OH NO. MY NEXT ADDICTION: ICE LOLLY.

i fell in love with this song. someone tell me its nice. (: i think im being a little emo again.

he simply spoiled my day. i was feeling good though sick at first. but somehow out of nowhere, he dropped me a HI on msn. and that's how it all started. it may only be a simple HI, but it really got me wondering what he wanted to say. but he didnt reply after that. and yupp, at that time, my msn nickname was: & i guess i havent really moved on. maybe he wants me to get a grip of myself.

im half awake now. exhausted after a long day. okay, maybe its counted short. afterall there's no lessons budden also i have been walking like madd. you know, walking around vivocity can be something tiring. haha. but still, i didnt run the x country. and i sucked. im simply a coward. who's scares of not being able to achieve when i havent even tried. and i hate myself losing so much confidence when its possible to do it. oh i just hate it. what to do? well, anw, back to something more happy. we guys went to catch a movie! yay, we back together going out. ahah. of course, i enjoyed myself even though i feel rather bad lying to my mom again. haha. weird, guoyi's feeling guilty. oh and i think im going to have a nightmare later. cos we went to watch the epic movie. cmon. its freaking disgusting, gross, funny, lame, weird and simply atrocious. haha. maybe my words are contradicting, but well, thats what the movie's all bout. wasting eight bucks just to go in there and basically sleep and laugh. lol. it has got no plot at all. gosh. i wonder whyy im there too. nvm, let's nort talk bout it. haha. in the end, i somehow enjoyed the movie. so i guess the day isnt that bad. oh ya, i think i needa really go through this though few months and stay alive by the end of it. its gonna be real badd. guoyi, go, you can do it!!

let's hope things turn better tmr. i mean both my mood and my throat. it seems to be burning inside now!! so horrid. i gotta survive okay. no matter what, i will drag myself there. haha. i think it started with swallowing the whole of 5 HOT nuggets just now during recess. oh crap. luckily oral's over. but stillm I CANT SING!! haha. )): nvm, i just hope i still can run tmr. but... can i really do it?!