okay, whateva man. i dont care bout whether is it who's the one showing attitude and i too dont give a damn whether you're going to change it or not but also on the other hand i've got enough of all the fights, quarrels and arguements in between and all along. sick man, cant we just stop being so childish and be like kindergarden kids going on and off like, "can i dont friend you?" kinda thing? omg. get a life man.

i remembered i peeped at your back when you left. my heart shouted ouch and it did ache a little. okay, hmm, may be it did hurt a lot. for i know, you're tired of waiting. right, perhaps im right, we were never meant to be.

dammit, poornima, since you are nort getting attached first, I WILL. (:

im getting so lazy to post again. lol, a full time procrastinator, part time perfectionist. hehe. anyway, my headache is still up there driving me nuts and now i dont know wazzup with my leg its making me crazy too. i should just get admitted into IMH. lala, i kinda made my mind and yupp, it does make some sense okay. anyway, im getting so freaking fat im have been trying to do something bout it by going to the gym everyday. oh well, i didnt do much, basically just running and guess what? i guess my old injury is back man. DAMNN.

damnn! i cant seem to focus again, what's up with me lately man? oh no, i bet my brain is shrinking! haha. well, i found myself wandering off to the computer here blogging bout my feelings again while my english revision work is still on my study table... ahh, nvm, let it be, im taking a break from all that rubbish man. okay look, i dare to admit im one of those few that started mid year revision already okay?! im sucha good girl cos i used to not even do revision and yet now im still not achieving anything to prove to my mom! RAWRR. whateva, anyway, i was just being emo while listening to this song. munyee, you know what i mean. haha. things are liddat, life still goes on. its such a pity i guess. sigh. but well, afterall its over, and im glad im no longer under all those stress and torture i have been suffering through. i have regained all the freedom!! tralala, jump for joy and laugh till you tear. as you can see, im mad, i really would like to question myself why im liddat too.



























maybe im just hiding them all deep inside there in a dark corner where no one can see and then locking them up tightly so that they are not allowed to escape or to even gasp for air. im so mean, am i?

heyy, i got a new blog skin, its cute isnt it? the girl's so chio i think i wanna be like her! lol, anyway... actually im in love with MUNYEE!! (:

the person who can top my test by the end of next week shall earn a drink/treat from me! (:

today was a good day except occasional day dream when munyee and qihui is talking to me. apologise for that!! well, im back, cheerful guoyi is back now, with her brain rather clear now, knowing what she wanna do now in life and she's gonna concentrate on studies!! (at least for mid-year now.) hehe. hmm, i guess it took me kinda two weeks to start all over again and its way faster than two years. well, its really cool cos what's the best part? i got rid of the two devil inside me together! omg, that's like. WOW. thank God for helping me all along. (:








MUNYEE,
HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER.
<3 GUOYI.

Create your own Friend Test here

wondering why no one's online at this hour. hmm, maybe everyone's busy studying for their mid-year. sad, while ppl bury themselves in books, im here, rotting away like nobody's business. well, im just nort in a mood to study today, apologise for that. probably becos im taking those medicine again. RAWRR. anw, today school was usual, had a bad headache and then after school went with dave, weisheng, daryl and henglun to the macs. all my best guys buddies. had fun cos i kept questioning daryl and henglun bout "COUGHS" and im like the flying dutchlady, giving them the "who wants to win a MILLIONAIRE" question. DOTS.

crap. those drugs are making me go HIGH man. i mean, HYPER SLEEPY. may be i should stop taking them. hmm, what do you think? but they are meant to be anti-biotic. ahh, whateva, i dont give a damn. mid-year's here in a week's time and im not going to skip school anymore!

that chem test sucked. i didnt finish and then i was doing good not till i reached the "test for gases" part. omg, im like so going to hate myself for it. i admit that i didnt try my best in it okay. i didnt study!! may be i did. but still, i didnt manage to answer all the questions and is very disappointed bout that. im just too perfectionist. DAMMIT.

sometimes everything just seems like a cycle, going round and round and when i realised it, i was back at the starting point, unready for another round but still forced to do so. now i know, i know what is it all about. im nort going for another try. have had enough of all these scary things.

yeah, just got back home. i hated when my mom nags, but now, she no longer got the energy to do so. she seems so tired and as if she's giving up on me. may be she should. well, may be its a good thing i stop haering all the nonsense from her too. both of us need some time to break off. haha. its like, my whole family's under one roof budden you dont really call it a family do you? definition of family: set of relations. hmm, i guess we are related but... err, in such a way that we dont communicate? no love among it?

suddenly i just feel like blogging. i cant concentrate. not at all. its all about graphs these days. and then seconds ago i was enjoying my work, but before i realised, i put down the pencil and walked to the computer. ya, you know, i stared into emptiness and someone's gotta read my mind to tell me what im thinking. you guys dont know how irritating it is, to not being able to focus on my favourite subject. nvm, i will try again when i get back later.

just wanted to let you know that, the feeling, yes its there, but you know i chose to leave you cos i think its time you learn some self-control.





you dont have to be attached to be happy right? hmm, munyee is one good example! (:

guys, this is a must do test from me to you!! please please, pretty please just go try it will you? (: i know you will.

just woke up from my long nap, still feeling drowsy. i spent those 3hours in bed going to dreamland and i felt like as if i wasted so much time. so irritating. and now im having a headache, feel like puking. well, i deserve it. i own ms ang so much homework is still procrastinating. i ought to be punished! wazzup with graph and guoyi? i dont know. sighh. the sight of seeing those green papers make me go nuts. i wished i had a computer to print everything out nicely. actually i think i know why. its most probably becos of my character, so perfectionist, that everytime i see my graph untidy, i will tear it and re-do. RAWRR

those flashbacks raced with the train i boarded just now. it was about 3 minutes long but still, its as much as 3 years of memories. it was everything, really everything, all that i could remember, they just surfaced up. well, i was a little moody today but at least i didnt vent it on anyone since i stayed alone in the library from 11 till 8 that's like 9 hours? ha, that's really my second home. free aircon and table.

i no longer wanna cry over it. its a waste of time, my tears and energy. look how silly i am. let this be another lesson. tralala, im gonna be back to the cheerful guoyi! nothing's gonna bring you down man. (:

i told myself, no one is worth my tears, and those who are worth wont make me cry.


its so true, but i still cant help weeping over this stubborn idiot. so what if whoever out there is reading this, for all i know, this is MY blog, and so i have got every rights to express myself, post and blog down whateva's going on in my life and even at this current moment.

i was reading through my past posts. two months back, everything was good. yesterday's the history. i rmb saying i wont let myself get hurt, but still i did. and this time round, it isnt any better than the previous one. just that i wanted to end this earlier for i know if i drag it on, it would have been the same ending, only that history might just repeat itself.


i need someone to help me up, its really a bad fall.

rainy.
feeling upset.

well, he might be giving up, oh, then let him be. i dont know what im gonna do it with it too. my mom's mad at me now and im so disappointed at my own results. i hate life man. going out to meet poornima now for a movie. i hope they dont recognise my swollen eyes. ):


it wasnt happily ever after anymore.

home sweet home. well, only my bed is sweet, the house is as cold as it is, with all the living zombie walking around in my house, no warmth at all. maybe i shouldnt have come home but at least im a good girl and is listening to ms suriani's words. everyone cares, but its my decision. im getting soft again, he seems like he's worth giving another chance, so is he? hmm, i will think bout it and waste my brain cells again. ):


once bitten, twice shy. im so afraid history might repeat itself, that's why i decided nort to go on.

im really tired, more of emotionally. have had enough of everything. maybe i shouldnt apologise anymore, maybe you are just nort worth my tears. maybe im wrong, maybe im nort right, maybe i would regret, and list goes on...

i havent really been so distracted in my life before. i guess today just isnt the day for everyone. im DEFINITELY GOING TO FAIL MY CHINESE TEST, and i promised i didnt do well for oral too. but still why? i thought everything would be just fine... no, its just disastrous. forget it, im really nort going to get involved in all these anymore. yawns.

sorrie. and you know i mean it.

now what? im not even given the freedom of speech, to voice out my feelings, for im afraid of all the passer bys reading what my life's all about and since this blog is all about open to the public, you no longer call it a diary.

okay fine, anyway, i just felt like apologising. sorrie, to you-know-who. should have told you everything first but well, its all bcos im scared you would get hurt. hope you understand...

today school sucked. i was emo partially bcos yanlin and poornima brought up the topic early in the morning and then after that he was so pissed with me in the afternoon. no one seems to understand how hurt im feeling really deep inside. its so tiring. guess waht, for the second time in my 15years, im feeling like as if life has lost its meaning... im unsure what i meant by that too but oh well, who cares? ignore the girl who's always trying to put on that smile even though you can see the tear behind her.

tralala, i have been typing the same old thing for upteen times and apparently the internet has gone insane just like meee!! (: well, im feeling a little better than ytd after drowning myself in all da maths papers and numbing my pain with the numbers. at last now i can proceed with my bio report and then finally finish up studying my chinese test! yawns. havent had a wink since ytd so far i rmb for i just cant seem to concentrate in doing my fav subject when i keep wondering off to the past and take walks down the memory lane to where i used to be once innocent. crapp, i hate it when i have got nothing better to do and starting looking for something edible but the face that i havent touched food for QUITE SOME TIME is making my stomach grumbling real badly. sorrie. lol, that was to apologise to my stomach for torturing it.

19days.
i wanna let you know,
whoever told you I was letting go,
they were lying.
just look around,
all the people that we used to know have given up.
they wanna let it go,
but no no, i'm still trying hard.
so you should know this love we share,
was never made to die.
Some people say that everything has got it's place and time,
even the day must give way to the night

im a depressed kid again. why do ppl these days get emo so easily?

well, perharps i made up some stories, but i guess most of the parts are true, and i just acted out like as if im a happy girl who doesnt give a damn bout him anymore after having a new bf. lol, what a joke. whyy? whyy do i just have to lie and put up a fake front and hide my tears behind all these? its like as if i can take it but no? i've got my limits. and what's more, you always leave me hanging there after you start a conversation and then nort replying me. you know it will just get me stuck there thinking of all things... i hate it but you still do it all the time. and you know what? i just cant get the courage outta me to block you or even delete your contact you still do mean alot to me. i just wish for a 24-hours with you and probably that will be more than enough.

please God please, will you grant me?

20days.

henglun, my son, my nephew, linus, my sis and the so called bday boy is here at my house just now. "STUDIED" and ate cake. yeahh. i was a little i didnt know whyy probably missing him but after hearing all the cold jokes by them and seeing their "SMACK THAT" show truly made me laugh inside out. right. thanks guys, hope your enjoyed yourself!! (:

let's start counting down once again:
21days.

im high now. on the phone with my bf. haha, had a good time, kept laughing and joking over stupid small things. it all started ytd. and its like, if only he's always like that, someone whom i can play with and nort that serious guy that irritates and pisses me off. tralala, i havent been blogging yeah? many probs surfacing again but well, i will continue to look on the bright side. its just that i have become a little more stressed up these days. stacking up all my homework thanks to OBS, kinda regretted now. lol. and then im still going for campteen this week end, GOSH. help. what a burden.