给自己一个机会。

when i turned 21, on the birthday party i threw, i suddenly noticed many suitors. after secondary school, after i came to know the Lord, for a few years somehow i didn't hear of many chasing me anymore. and then suddenly they all appear together again. i receive many bouquets of flowers over the year, of whom a few are pre believers. there are also a few who are actually 'ready candidate' recommended by others...

i am just glad that i chose to consecrate my heart when i was 20. because if i hadnt... i would probably be picking up those broken pieces of my heart now. i remember so clearly during G12 conference that year i told the Lord i will leave my heart at the altar and if any man wants to retrieve it, he has gotta go through Him. till today, i am waiting for that man who will go and kneel at the altar and ask God for it. 

yes there were times i was attracted to some guys but i made sure i drew my boundaries clear. maybe it was out of fear to fall deep and then getting hurt later. but maybe its also because i didnt wanna be like the old who is only in love with the feeling of being in love and being in love with all the attention i get... that is just so selfish. i wanna truly be in love and committed to a God-fearing man.

this season, i have finally decided to get down and pray about this man. i don't deny i have someone in mind... but first, 我要过得了我自己这关。God, would you please tutor me?