Gek xim.

she told me she rather do things her way and get her heart broken to never have tried before and never find out if its possible. she didn't wanna obey me. she didn't want to believe in the bible. she refused to acknowledge and admit God's lordship over her life. 

i was very sad. to see how pride got in the way and how i can almost see that in the end, she would come running back, crying. there's no better way than His way. i can spend all my time and saliva trying to make sense to her but the heart is so hardened... she is sooo deceived. the lies that she lives in... so scary. 

well, i had to face the fact. she is not probably gonna change her mind. i can only pray and battle for her in the spiritual realm and never give up on her. i will be waiting for her return, just like how the Father awaits the prodigal son to turn back. 

as i took a step back, it really got me thinking. what is this compared to how God must have felt when He knew she was gonna betray Him? i was only getting a taste of His broken-heartedness. I am sorry God... i am willing to repent on her behalf. forgive her for she knows not what she is doing. 

it really hurts the Father when we do not walk in His way.. because He knows best for us. yet He chose to give us free will. thank You Lord. :')