It's Over.

XMEN. yaye. we caught a movie today, as you can see, oh & with my sis too. yes, as pauline has already mentioned, its has a sad ending! aww, but well, the effects were pretty coool. :D i kinda like it, like i'd for the other movies. wolverine is gooooood. my next movie shall be angels&demons with HOHO family. :D

slacked at vivo after hanging abit and wasting quite some cash... I ALMOST DIED, wearing my heels. hahaha. damnn, wrong choice made today! oh wells, i ended up wasting even money on my cab fee back home. ahh.

well, what drove me nuts today is actually realizing that... after hanging out the girls, THEY TOLD ME THERE'S MATH QUIZ TMR. AHH. kill me pls, i didnt study. hahaha.

im so tired and sleepy now my headache's killing me. i will sleep sooon. but here, i wanna thank God. my prayers kinda worked. (:

P.S. More photos with Annabel!

We've run out of words
we've run out of time
We've run out of reasons

We both know it's over baby
It's best we don't even talk at all
Don't call me even if I should cross your mind
I don't need to hear your voice
Let's just call it quits
it's probably better
I'm not returning your calls

Don't Forget.

i WAS pretty upset today. yes, was. cos my friends were sad. :( and i didnt know how to cheer them up! my friends problems are mine too OK. im a good friend. :D well, ok la, shouldnt blame it on them too.

my day starting off with oversleeping and then needing to wake my mom up to ask her send me to sch. then obviously, she started nagging. school was OK, except that maybe i failed my standing broad jump which i cannot be bothered to retry. then there was no chem lesson! cancelled cos teacher wasnt around. we still had our test, but we ended early. so group of girls and i went for lunch nearby.

guess what guess what. i was so super lucky today! i found a 2 dollar note! what's most amazing is that it fell from the sky(or you can say it fell from the tree). whateva, its the same cos its still unimaginable. was chatting with amanda when right in front of us just flew past this 2 bucks! so coool right. who would have thought something liddat would happen randomly... look, that's God's way of helping me when im broke. HAHAHA

then i went to JP to run an errand after that... hung around a bit with the retarded amanda and then headed to westmall. SAKAE FOR DINNER. awesome man! seriously, especially when its with your besties. laughing away like mad, INSPITE OF GETTING SUAN(TWS, YOU KNOW IM REFERRING TO YOU) and then looking at the guys doing stupid things.. oh man. i hope to see those peeps next fri again! i did something weird like sending munyee to bukit merah at 8pm then met olivia at macs! chatted awhile and headed home.

yeah, that's when alot, alot of stuff started racing through my drained little head. i saw someone on the bus. daryl knows who. well, it was a best friend. of mine, back in sec sch. someone whom i loved, i cared and i had lots of fun with. she's gotta be someone i never forget. i saw her, and yet, we didnt even waved or talk. just thinking bout how strangers turned into the best of friends. yet, both of us, from best friends, downgraded back to strangers. how ironic can things get?
ahhh, yeah. that's life.

never mind. that aside. i came home pretty late. started chatting with one group of weirdos. ok look, i started going high again after talking bout pokemons. and everyone seemed to get my disease too! i couldnt help but laugh and now im feeling much better. now, my jaws are aching, and im really tired. my muscles have been aching since ytd's 2.4km! whoo. :D

yaye. its been another week. holidays are coming! its really serving as a good motivation for me! well, for now, my next short term encouragement's gotta be hanging out with the girls on monday! then... finding someone to catch angels & demons with meeeee. wheee. life doesnt necessary suck you know? HA.

joy once told me, bless others like how you've been blessed. im learning, i really want to learn. :)

Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

Photograph.

no idea why, even though I'm tired, i was in a pretty good mood today. had a good laugh in school with my girls even knowing that i didn't do quite well for my economics assignment, which I'm gonna receive tomorrow... i was more positive, after knowing that i did OK for my math lecture test. i was high today, probably because i had skittles early in the morning and that I'd some good rest over the weekends. well, maybe things will be different when i get my econs results tomorrow! may i have the strength to face it. (: s still, there's the irritating weekly chemistry test tomorrow which i had to mug for later on. then after that, need to do some revision on biology before i sleep! I'll be a good girl, mean what i say and get them completed before the clock strikes 12. =p

today, after thinking through, i feel thankful. thank you to all these people, not in any order of preference, whom have had one way or another helped me pull through my bad times, the times when i thought I'd never make it through:

thank you Kelvin! i know you're reading this. :D thank you for always being there, listening to me nag, complain, 'emo', get high and go crazily mad. you're truly an awesome listener man. at times you may be damn lame, but i must say those jokes are the key to making me smile. thanks. :D

thank you Wendy! then again, she may not be reading this, but its OK! its what comes from my heart that matters. thanks for these 7 years of friendship. thanks for all the late night phone calls and thanks for studying with my every week! never thank enough of you man.

thank you HE MIN ER. yes, you know who you are. haha, thanks for letting me look forward to meeting you every time. despite knowing that there's gonna be NAPFA on Friday, I'm fine with it. i won't drag, i will go to school. that's because i know i can't wait to see you, Weisheng, Dave and the others!

thank you Joy. uh huh, you might, might not be reading this. its alright. thank you so much for your support. i promise I'll continue working hard, and show you i can do it! me not gonna let you down

thank you PAULINE CHINNNNN. thank you for the card today. thank you for being my friend. thank you for sharing me your joy and sorrow. & thank you for being SIAO with me =]

thank you my clique, AMABEL&ANNABEL, AMANDA, LYDIA & SHUHUI. whooo, without you guys, what's life in JJ?

a pretty long post dedicated for my loved ones eh? there's one last person i haven't thank. my mom. thank you, for bringing me here. thank you for tolerating my attitude problem. thank you.

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did my eyes get so red

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

I Been Hopin

I've been broken hearted
Ever since the day we parted
I don't have much to say
Ever since you gone away

I'm going in circles
wondering if hurting me hurts you
I know i don't deserve it
but I'm dealing with it everyday

I was so surprised
I didn't know what to say
But i forgave you
For throwing it all away

I've been hopin' you'll come back to me
I'll forgive you for everything
I've been crying bout it everyday
now i wont be satisfied till you come back to me

You really don't make sense
Been tryin' to figure out why you left
I'm picking up the pieces
Now i wish you were here with me

I'm too lazy to upload any more photos. I'm so tired now, but I'm trying my best to keep my eyes open and say 'no' to the temptations of the bed. my mom, its her, all her fault. HA, she made me stay at home, even though i was already going out to study. ahhh, whatever, as usual, I'll just make her happy and be a good girl. I shall do my online work later on! Don't worry, I'm gonna make sure I won't get distracted, I PROMISE!!

again, its long weekend. yes, of course I'm happy. BUT, i didn't get to rest. i didn't go out to enjoy and i didn't do anything relaxing. its just studying, studying and back to studying. :(
one, i don't know who to call. I'm ever so lazy. furthermore, everyone's down with tests and exams. even the poly students started sch. sigh
two, its like, when i go out, i feel stressed. I'm worried that i won't be able to finish work, so sometimes, even though I'm out, I'm not exactly enjoying.
yes, so what's the point? good luck to all those who're aiming to come JC. happy feeling unstressed now in sec sch. hahah.

things are falling into place now, or at least, i see things better gradually. maybe its cos I'm just getting used to this 'no life'. maybe its cos i realized that my friends are in my shoes too. I've learnt that I'm gonna have something more positive to let me to look forward to... example, June holidays! I've already got some plans coming up. like the class gathering and my beloved friends' birthdays! whoo. yaye! :D

OK, me gonna get some tea and freshen up. everyone, take care! don't be a victim of the swine flu. HAHAHA

Suddenly.

ANNABEL is sitting right beside me now. :D we're in the computer lab in sch. she doesnt know how to blog. HAHAHA. i'm supposed to be finishing up my PI but i'm not. all because of ANNABEL so she's a bad girl. so dont learn from her ok, amanda? :D

anyway, havent updated for almost a week alr! my com broke down and died. :( i lost my only source of entertainment ok. :(:( what's worse is, I CANT DO MY PW. :(:(:(

ya, so sad, annabel just left for band & i'm all alone. she's evil! :(

ok, let me summarise what happened for the past week. i've been feeling down but i guess my mood swing period is over! talked to ms chng a bit and my friends been encouraging. however, i still feel bad at venting my anger and times at my mom... :(

for now, i guess i really have to work on time management. i believe i can do it, and i must! maybe im doing well, but im sure i can be better, right? as always, this is coming from perfectionist wu...

ok that's all folks. let me continue to melt away in this life without internet

HEY PAULINEEE. cheer up baby cheer up!!

And we look around,

And now we loved to live the single life.

And then we tell ourselves we'll never fall in love again.

But then he comes around and suddenly we understand,

That we've never been living in love before.

Heartbreak Lullaby.

my PW PI is gonna be due in exactly 2 hours time. GOOD LUCK TO ME.

ha, & i still have all the time in the world to blog. because, this is one of the my ways to destress...
im on the verge of breaking down alr. for the past couple of days, i really had this urge to cry it out. i'm not just tired and pressurized, but instead, i also feel that there's somethings i need to reflect on. i havent been managing my emotions very well and i feel that its certainly unfair to the ppl around me. how can i be quiet at times and noisy the other min? i think im freaking my girls out. so, i cannot be so selfish, no i cannot.

today, the thought of switching to poly actually crossed my mind. i'm amazed. i thought i made up my mind to stay, and usually i wont let my decision sway. now, i feel like backing out, cos i fear that i no longer can take it anymore. guess what? today i also found out that im actually doing pretty well for all my subj(except econs). and the impression i give others, is always that im smart and i can teach them. sigh. maybe i shouldnt be so good afterall. so after having a little talk with my clique, they concluded that i should stay and that they mentioned, guoyi, you really got to find some ways to relieve your stress man, or else you'ld go crazy! i hate to admit it but i totally agree man. ever since i lost my aim my goal in life, my life has a routine: sch, eat, shower, study and sleep then back to sch again. all the same... back in those days, i rmb i watched movie almost once a week. what bout now? barely once a month... i always say, whateva la, i dont give a shit bout sch bout homework, but deep inside, i care. i care whether i top or not, i care whether i pass or not. why, why am i like that?

i know its because of my mom. she's my motivation. the only reason why i refuse to give up till now is bcos i dont wanna disappoint her. i cannot afford to. there, there's also the others like my friends. i know they'll support me, that's why i'm still hanging on. who can i turn to and who can i ask? who can help? exactly how long can i continue the way im going now? is there a way out? would quiting JC help? or am i just running away?

may You give me an alternative solution.

When there's always something there reminding me,
How things could be,
I've tried to get you off my mind,
I've tried to play my part,
But everytime I close my eyes,
You're still inside my heart,
Why can't I laugh?
Why must I cry?

Doing Too Much.

oh man, the photos are so blurred. the baby's kawaii-neh? hahah, yupp, saw him on the busy the other day and was playing with him. blue eyes leh that angmoh. wa, gonna be so handsome next time!

right, i may sound cheery, but i got to face the fact. my moood is low, lousy, depressed, everything negative you can think of, its probably gonna describe the guoyi now. its been a while since i really had the urge to scream, curse and swear. but i guess this is the best time to put myself to the test and see if i can control my emotions. i bet i've some self-discipline that i wont say all that!

coming to the point, econs sucks. yes, for now, at least the answering part is killing me. its already my 5th draft for an only 10% assignment. ya, more effort i put in for my PI. that's cos i dont wanna fail it AGAIN. you dont know how fed up i am right now, rushing it and referring to every source i have. that aside, all the tests, I DONT HAVE ANY TIME TO STUDY. ok, luckily there was good news today that GP test is gonna be postponed. BUT, i still have that friggin' irritating chem quiz. just end my life will someone. hustle bustle, i need a life man. its so sad, that i dont even know what im after. mugging mugging mugging, what is it that i get from all these? good results but a stressful life? believe it or not, this stress im feeling now, is more than how i felt during O's. just imagine what's gonna happen to me next year... will i even be alive? HA. let's wait and see then

no more time to spare anymore. my plan tonight: NOT SLEEP, stay awake and chionggggggg. way to go :D

ouch! dont call me anymore, please dont. cos everytime you do, my wound never really heals.

All i can picture is the color of your eyes,
and the way u make me smile
I ain't felt this in a while,
But I came to a conclusion that this is pure illusion

Over You.

i had a great laugh today thanks to my awesome clique of girlfriends spending the afternoon at JP eating away and catching a really interesting yet touching movie called Knowing. we were just random and taught of catching it despite knowing that we were supposed to go home and finish up our piles and piles of endless homework. well, gonna rate this movie 6.5/10. ha, i would say its worth my afternoon nap today, cos i totally sacrificed going home to sleep for them to catch it. the rest almost teared at this part where the father and son got separated but i thought it was overall pretty illogical and lame. most importantly, it was so loud! really, especially loud, and i wonder why. also because of it, i missed fast and furious! argh.

i blogged yesterday and just in case you're wondering why i'm doing it again, i guess i was just upset? its not because of my bio test. i didnt do very badly for it. passed, but ya, didnt hit my expectation, which i believed is as high as the sky. never mind its ok, its something else...

i was pretty occupied all day long, somehow. no no, dont mistake it for that crush. its nothing gotta do with him man, AT ALL. oh please, i dont even have time for him, or probably, he doesnt even belong up there in my head. ahh. you should have guess who else can it be. you know who. you know, you know it all, if you know me. its just that Dean told me something pretty disturbing this morning while on the way to school with him. it was more like, i didnt expect it. maybe its all a prank, or just a moment of impulse done by that person? i shouldnt be thinking bout it, i so should, yet i am. im sorrie i cant control, i just care, ok? i wanna know everything bout it, cos im jealous. omg, help me. bet this is gonna stay with me for a while

i'm weird. i'm independent, but fear of being that way. i really wanna have someone rely on. oh give me the strength and the courage to walk this road, to cross all these obstacles in life. i'm so afraid of being alone and do them all. its so tiring, yeah??

it says it all:
'the day i thought i'd never get through, i got over you.'
narr, i'm not quite sure.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.

Invisible.

today, FOR SOME REASONS, was a bad day to start off with... HAHA, but anyway, tuesdays are always sleepy days. i slept my whole econs lecture away and feel pissed after. seriously, my PMS alert is ringing so stay away from me. :(

its been studying studying studying. and all i can complain about is just bout how much things i've to do, all the homework and everything i cant catch up with. sigh, wassup with this JC life, worse then sec sch? yeah, totally. now that i dont even have a nice CCA to keep me occupied, it might be a good excuse to let me go home study, but well, i guess it also means i'll lose out to those who have a good profile when they graduate with an A level cert. oh well. its ok, i'll just make use of my precious time and study doubly hard, AND NOT WASTE THEM ON SLEEPING. jia you for me! tests tests tests, stupid sch, why is there not midyr?! :(

the guys found out my crush. IM SO DEAD. but its ok, im so getting out of it. thanks to him anyway, i found myself, yet again :D

No matter what you do
And all I think about is how to make you think of me
And everything that we could be

The Best You Never Had.

what's wrong with everyone today? what is it? what's with the unhappiness, sadness and sad faces they have? i thought the emo trend died out? its back, when just within a couple of hours, my old friends confided in me. i really try not to make their problems mine, but sometimes, i just cant help but worry. today, i realised how important i can be. i can always think that im nobody and i dont make a difference, but i know, its because i'm there to listen that they've someone to talk to. its because i care, that whateva happens to them means alot to me. i think i needa go get some sleep, before i get depressed over it.

for all the heartbreaks and sufferings, i wish them all the best.

Cause in your empty heart I left a mark,

-

i thought if we couldn't be something more than friends, we can stay as the best of friends. i thought you would always be there for me no matter rain or shine, i thought you would be there all the time. i thought you were my real true friend, i thought what we were going through would mend. but i guess i was so wrong, it isn't that strong. i was just too innocent.

Thinking Of You.

trip yesterday to Palau Tekong Basic Military Training Camp (BMTC) was awesome man. luckily the weather wasnt too hot, so i kinda enjoyed myself cos i learnt how to shot with that enormous gun ok! didnt quite regret thanks to the Amabel's company even though the trip was crazily long. first we get a bout half an hour ride to tanah merah then after that 15min ferry trip down. well, not everyone get to go there, so i guess its all worthwhile. however unfortunately, we werent able to take any photos cos its not allowed!(due to some sercurity issues...)

i wanted to come home early today to have a good nap but by the time i reached home after an hour, its half past 5 alr. so fed up. sighh, what to do, then the public holiday tomorrow will leave me brainstorming for that irritating project work. oh man, i need help, but who can? sometimes, i really question myself if i've taken a wrong route. do i really belong here? can i really cope? :(

here's something i wrote quite some time ago:

love is patient,
love is kind.
love does not envy,
love does not boast.
love is not proud,
love is not rude;
love is not self-seeking,
love is not easily angered.
love keeps no records of wrongs;
love always protects,
love always trusts;
love always hopes,
love always perseveres;
love never fails.

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Bottom Of The Ocean.

gonna make it a quick one, my mom just wont stop nagging me to go have dinner. yes, dinner at 10pm. how ill-discipline can i get. anyway, i've math-ed the whole day, so ya. my brain's really so worn out now. im like dazing and taking a while to understand what's going on around me. yes, i did till i forgot to eat.

oh, i received a cool sms just now and so i forwarded it out, only to expect very interesting replies. (:
i asked, "please complete the sentence for me: I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT ___________."
there was this someone who told me: "i've always admired your strength and courage in overcoming alot of obstacles and problems that i never had the courage to face..."

i was amazed; i was shocked. i never knew i was thought to be someone like that. well, its because of her, that i am who i am today. i must really thank her. (:
am i really that strong? actually i didnt want it this way too. its every thing around me, my environment, my family and my friends that made me become one. i dont want to be so tough, to be able to do everything. cos i want some love from someone too. i dont wanna be so independent, cos its so tiring. i dont want i dont want.

lastly, i think i found out something about myself again yesterday. it was a good thing. i'm glad i found that out. :D

P.S. YOU, YES YOU, if you're reading this post right now, & i havent sent the sms to you, do tag me and tell me what you've always been wanting to tell me. c'mon, dont keep it inside, its your chance now! ^_^

In a dream you appeared
For a while you were here
So I keep sleeping
Just to keep you with me

We Belong Together.

im so lack of sleep i need to stay at home and hibernate tomorrow. my eyes are dry and im having a bad migraine. man, this aint very good. doctor says i'm stressssss. what to do? my mom nags at how badly i failed my econs, but never realises that i'm actually doing OK for chem. where's my praise me for math? oh wells. i needa buck up man. GP's still lousy. ahhhhhhh. must be wondering why im still awake at this time even though im so tired and sleepy? that's cos i still have to rush my PW due on friday. i havent touched it ok! im dead, so dead. HELP

anyway, besides visiting the clinic today, i met up with the guys! the soccer guys. whooooo. it was nice just sitting there watching, quite relaxing in a way. and, i realised something today! but i shall not mention it here. oh wells, ask me if you're interested to find out :D
before i forget, while on the cab home, 'love just aint enough' by patty smith was playing over the radio. it REALLY reminded me of that fella whom introduced me to the song and all those times i had with him. aww, i know he wont be reading this. even if he is, he wouldnt know im referring to him. its merely a song he told me about, why would anyone remember? never mind if im forgotten, never mind if he cannot recognise me the next time we meet, at least i know he was once someone very important to me. if i'd the chance, i wanna let him know that despite all the evillllllll things he has done for me, he was an awesome friend. TGFA.
no doubt he made a great impact to my life. (:

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself

Forever & Always.

my version of cinderella didnt really have a happily ever after ending. *snap* i guess she's back to reality, facing the fact that life goes on, & everything ends on the very day. however, this just made her look forward to the next time she turns into a little princess. :D

i only have a word to describe sweet 17: marvellous.
(maybe i should describe it as: FATTENING. hahaha, FYI: my breakfast, lunch and dinner were all CHOCOLATE CAKE. =X)

sometimes i do wonder, if i'm worth all my friends celebrating for me and buying me gifts for my bday. remember how i grumbled bout how much i thought im so unimportant? thanks to ppl like, munyee, daryl, dave, weisheng & wilson, now i know i gotta look at the other side of things. i must have weighed a little in their hearts to get them to take their time out and meet me. trust me please, those presents, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH(:

before i forget, i think i must say i also have great friends in JJ. despite hating my sch, AGAIN, these girls really made me wanna stay, just for their stake. it all came so unexpectedly because we barely knew each other, just a couple of months? man, now i know what ppl meant, when they say: that's what friends are for.

third, just this short paragraph for my 7yrs of bestie. i know she wont be reading this, but its ok. i wanna let you all know how big a difference she has made to my life. this little girl called wendy, even after knowing her for so long, is her first year spending my bday with me! haha, cos to us, it always didnt really matter if we were growing older. we see each other almost every other day but we never get tired of each other. i spent the night of my bday with this fella. there, she really put an extra touch to it.

last year's bday was a special one, but i guess, this year's gotta be an even more unique one. i've sweetie pies like suriani, sebastian, syafiq and even syah texting me! then jiaxin and ms chng also wished me, how amazing can that get... then there was yanlin and my brother calling me all the way back from amsterdam. lastly, this person i must mention! JOY. hahah, she really brought me joy. i had so much fun with just hanging out with her. (:

hey everyone, whoever out there who's sent me your wishes, blessings and gave me presents! thank you so so much. besides all the thank yous, i dont know what else to say. i'm really very very touched. in case you dont know, you're guarantee that your sms has made me smile. thanks for being there and to let me know you care. i've no idea what my life would be without ppl like you so thank you. i promise i'll be there, if you need me too. today, i choose to believe that my friends, are my strength.

Did I say something way too honest
That made you run and hide like a scared little boy
I looked into your eyes;
thought I knew you for a minute
Now I’m not so sure.
So here’s to everything
Coming down to nothing
Here’s to silence that cuts me to the core.
Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute
But I don’t anymore.

You Belong With Me.

yaye. now my blog's more colourful with photos.

firstly, let me just tell everyone how thankful i am to have these 3 friends, namly Alex CHEE, Xavier and Kelvin! whooo. they rock man. the first to give me my bday present, the guys who actually rmb even though we barely hang out! omg, just imagine how touched i was. thank God for letting me meet and know them over the SL camp last year! :D

then, today i received the badge for being the volunteer at the YOG LC! see that? NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE IT OK. im just sooo excited to be an intern there. wheee. cant wait cant wait. those ppl are niceee (:

do you know that whenever i get the feeling you'll be at somewhere,
i'll actually go over,
just hoping to see you?

I'm the one who makes you laugh
when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?

2.

that's bout somethings that happened in the past. :D

1

WHOO i just uploaded all my photos from my phone, LIKE FINALLY. using that lousy USB. =X the photos in this post are bout school/camp

Step Up.

i made a new friend today & his name is Ray. i dont know why i'm talking bout him because for all i know, he might just be another aquaintance, yet another stranger if we meet again a few decades later. hahaha, well, i just realised how things can change overtime and then again, maybe tomorrow or the day after, Ray becomes my best friend. who knows? i believe that God's got everything planned out for me and we somehow must be fated to know each other.

wondering why i'm saying all those rubbish? haha. that's cos i met someone today. i didnt really meet him in the sense, talk to him, hung out or anything like that. i just happen to see him while on Mr Tan's car on the way to lunch. he didnt see me at all, which i guess, is probably a good thing. honestly, i'm not sure how i should be feeling. i'd the rush to just jump off the car and go up just to say hi. well, luckily i didnt, cos it definitely would have been the most retarded thing that anyone can do. i should be glad i caught a glimpse of him, knowing that he's doing fine. however, at the very same time, i couldnt show any expression because Zoey was around too.

in a split second, there, he's gone. if he saw me, what would have happened?

my vision bout what happened in the past has gradually become clearer. friends told me a million things about him. so amazing. those things he did behind my back, the good, the bad and even stuff he's done for me. its all funny when i think back. did i actually become famous, or is it instead, infamous because of him? whateva it is, one thing i know, i havent regretted a single moment all the while. i admit, i was angry, i was mad at him. but ironically, i'm sorry to say that my anger for me turned a daily routine of missing him. a day just wont go by without me waking up with him on my mind and the last thing i got to be doing every night for the past months is thinking bout him. Zoey may be right, he's too much. well, i would say, there's always two sides to something. for now, there's really nothing i can do. so, let's wait for God's call. (:

& when I break up it's only to make up

Feel the rhythm of the beat, that's my heart
Cupid shot me with the arrow from the start
And you know that it's your love that's got me trapped
Everytime I try to leave you bring me back
So much water at times I cried a river
You dried my eyes and brought me back to laughter
And when I lay next to you I wanna wake up
And when I break up it's only to make up

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore.

sick. flu. ok i dont know why im blogging but i thought i deserve a break since i think i've been studying alot. i shall go catch my TV show after im done here.

recently, i've been troubled again. wondering if i should change my route, and pursue poly life instead. of cos, also wondering if i shall just get the hell outta soccer.

yaye, shall not think too much. tomorrow's sports day! its been a short week man. school really sucked. sigh. its ok. i'll be going to cine to catch my 'coming soon' with the girls. CANT WAIT :D muahahaha

call me

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why

Here I Am.

today's that retarded e learning day. YAYE. hahah. i so cant access to the chem videos i'm supposed to watch. how sad. oh wells, cant be bothered. so why am i so free to blog now? that's cos its my 'break'. LOL

anyway, i'm supposed to return to school for training later. oh my oh my. life's so sad. HA. there's two test tomorrow. i feel like staying home to catch all the chem i've missed out! :(

yesterday was out with hot shieboon. WHOO. it was damn fun to have him around. man, i missed those days... now, its all studying. 2 years aint long at all. its all bout studying. argh. believe it or not, i really fear whether i make it to the local varsity.

i wish i could get THAT sports bag. its $79.90 after sales i suppose. omg. that's ex ok. but its niceeeeeee. and it has this compartment for your shoes la. its huge and its brown. i wish i wish i wish my mom would let me buy it be it letting me myself pay for it. i bet i'll be a happy girl if i've that(not that i'm not happy now). i just SO want it. but then again, its a WANT, not a NEED. =[

before i go, i wanna tell you that:
soon im gonna be 6205 days old. HAHA, that sounds old. oh wells. i'm not asking for anyone to buy anything for me. i'm just complaining. maybe i deserve something for myself too
and soon we'll know each other for 730 daysm oh that's 2/17 of my life. i'm so lame. lalala

& i can only be your friend.

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

Incomplete.

oh i skipped school today! ha. i'm a bad kid, so please do not learn from me. :D ok, i admit i was really tired since i studied past midnight last night after buying that retarded $66 chem guide book. (i must be nuts to actually pay for it) *heartachs* furthermore, like i said, school's sucha drag and i dont understand any lectures so what's the point? self-studying's probably an easier way out for me. there's no school again tomorrow and i cant wait! whoo

suddenly my decision swayed. im not very sure if i should join soccer anymore. sigh. partly because of my knee, and also because of the discouraging pathetic small number of people we have there. how to play like that?

this week's last week of term 1. YAY. but that also means all the intensive work will be coming up after this break. omg. help. ok, for now, let's not think bout it. i shall watch COMING SOON with my girlfriends on friday, the 13th. lalala.

yesterday, i realised that someone actually care.
he really does, & much more than you do.
however, that's not the point.
i want YOU to be the one who really care about me.

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

My Life Would Suck Without You.

finally, its friday. i wasted my whole day in school today! so shouldnt have gone and now, my knee injury is back. its so bad i cant climb the stairs in my house, neither can i straighten it without feeling the pain. yes its back, that stupid injury. made me all so fed up. ya great, for all i know, my mom's not gonna let me join soccer. HA.

you know, there's this rude tai tai in class whom i really dislike. however, its not just me, but instead its the majority. she's so irritating i wish she would just get out of my face or leave the class. ok, i'm so gonna learn tolerance, because there's another one year and nine months to go. sigh!

enough of my rants. here's something i wanna tell all of your:
i love my mom, & thank God for having her around.

for once, i look forward to my birthday.
cos i wanna if you still remember, if you even care.

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you

I Wanted You.

its 1.30am in the morning! whoo. i'm an owl, for once. just felt like blogging, so here i am! HOWEVER, i've no idea what to post about. lalala.

cos in my dreams, you'll be there.

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
'Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line