Almost broke down yesterday. Glad I ran away and called Wendy up. We met and caught out over a casual dinner. After which I went to chill on my own till midnight. As I laid at the lawn enjoying the wind and watching the starry night, my soul quieten down. Yeah, thank God for each breath I can hear myself taking. Yet so much work was going through my head. Yet I felt so all alone and lonely. Irony.
Been taking regular time-out like that lately. It was something I never really did before. Is it a good thing? Yes... But it has only been happening because I haven't been coping very well. Perhaps I am getting used to not going to NTU cell. I do miss hanging out with the people. But more than anything else, seeing the politics happening around me each day is killing me inside. Disappointment? Plenty of it.
Just recently, I've taste of how 人心险恶。My supervisors watched me stood there getting scolded. When I was praised, they couldn't wait to steal all the credits away. Eew, disgusting. Each time there is a management meeting, its always about arrows flying every where. I probably won't be able to take the pressure if I didn't constantly remind myself that I am not alone battling because God is with me.
Questions about why I am doing what I am doing right now kept coming back... the answers remain unchanged: I will do this and I am committed to seeing it to the end because of one simple reason:
God has called and I will obey.so Lord, give me the strength, the grace and the wisdom to pull through... :')
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